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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

What to do?? 😭

45 replies

Mummy289 · 26/01/2024 16:34

So going to just explain my back story, have 4 children, 3 with autism and learning disabilities (plus pre schooler).

We have a beautiful 15 year old dog, she is the oldest of the babies, I have always never said I can’t do things with her because of the kids, she has always come with us on every holiday never been in kennels (not that that’s terrible I just want to come across the kind of pet owner I have been for 15 years!).

About a year and a half ago we started noticing changes, sounds disgusting she started weeing and pooping on our bed. Wasn’t all the time, she started whining at night and she started struggling with the noise from the kids a bit more (who can blame her old girl) the biggest change was she started loving other dogs (she use to bark at other dogs but not quite enjoys older dogs which is lovely. Never thought any thing more. She has always had colitis and always had a bland diet as treats set her off. Up until a year ago Iams were fine she then started a vet prescription food as she had blood in her stools.

She has always had full access to the home, about a year ago we had to stop her going up stairs, now the last 6 months has mainly been in the kitchen which I hate. We are at the stage now that she is weeing and pooping on the house. She is constantly going in and out the garden and just stands there and doesn’t go, and she will come in and go 🤦🏼‍♀️. It’s every 10-20 mins and she then won’t come in as just standing there. Yesterday she was groomed within a hour she weed in her bed and was laying in it. Although I walked her after and she went in the garden.
I now have to buy special fungal shampoo as she kept getting yeast infection due to all the washing (getting poop and wee on her). We have been to vets, there is nothing physically wrong. 6 months ago she had a scan which was fine, just before Xmas she had very detailed bloods and urine test which showed she was perfect (apart from blood in her urine).
The vet did say it sounds like doggy dementia but the won’t give anything until the blood in her urine has gone. The blood in her urine apparently is strange as her bloods came back fine and her kidney function is perfect. We have been given 2 weeks of antibiotics. I’m having to make her food, she now won’t eat the vet food so I’m grinding down the food and mixing with chicken that I’m cooking every other day. Which has got her eating it again. Now the vet is saying that if there is still blood in her urine they will do an Ultra sound to check for polps.

However all my time is going on preparing meals washing dog beds (have 3 on the go) letting her in and out the garden, she isn’t her any more. Every time I go the vets just keep giving more and more things to try (the last 4 month she has had a skin infection, ear infection and eye infection and now a uti. I can’t go out. We keep puppy pads down. But she pretty much needs to be bathed daily. It can’t be just the uti as she poops indoors too. Literally she is now a different dog. I feel so cruel keeping her away from the room we spend most the time in. I’m starting to feel it’s time we think about being pts however the vets seem to have a thousand different treatments and since August we are roughly spending over £500 a month there 🤦🏼‍♀️. Obviously now another urine test, scan, the vet’s fee, and dementia meds (if they can work out why she has blood in her urine). I feel like it’s a full time job just keeping her clean, the room clean her bed clean and making her food and letting her 9000 times a day. I know im going to be judge on here and maybe if I didn’t have kids I could cope with this and this I keep telling my self. However up till now it’s never been a problem. I feel sick about it and selfish. Im just struggling to keep this is all up. The kids just spend so much of their time worrying about her as they know it’s not right. She still enjoys walks and if she could eat chicken all day would happily still eat 24/7. 🤣🤣. She is eating and drinking. She isn’t a Velcro dog any more and I feel she is upset with me as she hardly gets to come in the lounge, I think it could be to do with the dementia but that thought keeps going around my head that she is sad with me. She doesn’t respond to her name (she heard a crisp packet open though 🤦🏼‍♀️) so it’s not her hearing. She does nothing she is asked like I can’t call her over or get her to go out when I need her to (ie before bed). Please I’m judging my self enough here. Should I as a good dog owner just push through this…

I don’t want to let her down but I feel I am constantly.

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 26/01/2024 16:36

Can you edit into paragraphs please? You'll get a much better response.

NorthCliffs · 26/01/2024 16:38

You're a good dog owner. It's okay to say this isn't the life you want for her and let her go peacefully and with dignity before she gets worse.

Floralnomad · 26/01/2024 16:38

She’s 15 and doubly incontinent , she’s not simply choosing to go indoors otherwise she wouldn’t do it in her bed . Personally this would likely be where I started to think about euthanasia, your dog is not happy laying in her own waste .

AnEmbarrasmentofWitches · 26/01/2024 16:41

You have been a wonderful dog mother. It is time to let her go x

Notnastypasty · 26/01/2024 16:43

You sound like a wonderful dog owner - please don’t beat yourself up. You’re not letting her down to let her go after 15 years however painful that must be.

Mummy289 · 26/01/2024 16:44

Sorry it’s probably how I worded it I don’t think she is choosing to go indoors. Up till 2 years ago we never had a problem and she toilet trained really quick as a puppy. I suppose we got her when we were 21, I have never had to choose to put an animal down. I have been waiting for the vet to say maybe it’s time, maybe they don’t? I have seen a lot of vets recently and all keep along the lines it’s just some poop and wee and she is still very energetic. Which she is, when I’m walking her she looks fine and she doesn’t look old and can still run… I feel like it’s me not giving enough. I just feel so sorry for her and honestly feel cruel every day. I never got a dog to watch us, she is part of the family busy she can’t be that and the longer it goes on the more I feel I’m causing it by shutting her in the kitchen a lot of the day but I just can’t have the mess on the carpet esp with a young child.

OP posts:
PinkflowersWhiteBerries · 26/01/2024 16:50

The vets are doing you no favours with ‘it’s just some poop and wee’. It is a real change in her behaviour and I would think your dog would find this distressful.
For me that would be a clear sign that it was time.

If you feel you want to try something else, look at incontinence wear for dogs. It does exist , but again it’s not improving her life.

But personally, I think it’s kind to let her go at this point.

catelynjane · 26/01/2024 16:56

Honestly, I think it's time to start thinking about having her put to sleep.

She has dementia, she's doubly incontinent and has bloody urine that's been going on for weeks. It's not kind to keep her going when she's in that condition.

I think you owe it to her to do the right thing now. I'm sorry.

Devilshands · 26/01/2024 17:01

Floralnomad · 26/01/2024 16:38

She’s 15 and doubly incontinent , she’s not simply choosing to go indoors otherwise she wouldn’t do it in her bed . Personally this would likely be where I started to think about euthanasia, your dog is not happy laying in her own waste .

I agree.

A dog that can’t control its bowls isn’t a dog living a good life (no matter how much anyone tries to give it happiness).

Let her go, OP.

notanothernana · 26/01/2024 17:15

What breed? If she's a big dog then that's a very good age!!

HappiestSleeping · 26/01/2024 17:17

@Mummy289 you say you don't want to let her down, but unfortunately not letting her down consists of knowing when the right time is, and it seems that now is that time I'm afraid.

Give her a big hug, and say your goodbyes, there is no shame in it, you given her a great life.

Floralnomad · 26/01/2024 17:19

@Mummy289 , I didn’t mean to imply that you thought she was choosing to go indoors I was just stressing the point that she is completely incontinent and nobody wants to be like that .

Pumpkintopf · 26/01/2024 17:30

I don't think some vets are good at having the conversation about letting them go. It's as if while there's another treatment to try, something else to do let's keep going. My elderly beagle had various ops to remove non cancerous tumours, eventually developed cancer and still the younger vet at our practice was suggesting referral to a large veterinary hospital two hours away. The older more experienced vet had the conversation with me that maybe it was time to let him go. He was right. Looking back I put that dog through a lot for my sake not his and in future I hope I'd make that decision sooner.

Sending hugs. You sound like a fabulous dog mum.

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 26/01/2024 17:45

Oh dear @Mummy289, I am not a vet, but I am a very experienced dog owner. If your beautiful dog doesn't have a dementia then she has something else that given her age, and that she is doubly incontinent, is probably very serious. Our last but one beautiful girl had to have an MRI Scan to find out what was causing her symptoms, she had cancer. Has your sweet one's vet done a complete set of tests, or just some blood tests?

If your girl has dementia then I am afraid that her life is not going to get any better, and if she has something like cancer, then she could probably, at the most, be given something to make her feel better for a while - probably a short while. It is obvious that you love her very much, and I think it is obvious to many of us dog lovers, that her body is telling you that now is the time to let her go, with you all making her last few days as happy as possible, but obviously without overwhelming her. I'm sending my love to the whole family, including of course your gorgeous Dog. She has been so lucky to have you as her human Mum @Mummy289 ❤️

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 26/01/2024 17:50

Pumpkintopf · 26/01/2024 17:30

I don't think some vets are good at having the conversation about letting them go. It's as if while there's another treatment to try, something else to do let's keep going. My elderly beagle had various ops to remove non cancerous tumours, eventually developed cancer and still the younger vet at our practice was suggesting referral to a large veterinary hospital two hours away. The older more experienced vet had the conversation with me that maybe it was time to let him go. He was right. Looking back I put that dog through a lot for my sake not his and in future I hope I'd make that decision sooner.

Sending hugs. You sound like a fabulous dog mum.

Over approximately 50 years, many vets have said to me, rather a week too soon, than a day too late. The worst days of my life have always been the days we had our beautiful 4 legged and wagly tailed family members put to sleep. I wasn't sure I would survive the last one...

3luckystars · 26/01/2024 17:55

She is very old and as much as you love her, her future is not looking rosy. I think you know what to do and maybe you posted here so we could tell you to let her go.

I think it’s the kindest thing to do.

Not easy at all but it is the kindest thing. Al the very best.

Curlewwoohoo · 26/01/2024 18:04

Op I'm looking after a sick 16yo cat and a sick 12yo dog right now, trying to find a hydrolysed protein food he will actually eat. Your dog isn't going to get better, lovely. What does a nice ending look like?

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 26/01/2024 18:22

It really is time to let your lovely dog go. 15 is a good age for any dog. Sometimes animals and humans are just ‘done’ but keep going because the heart is strong. Vets often now seem to be led by money and will suggest lots of treatments when it would be kinder to pts. Horrible decision to make but I would probably have done it a year ago in your position.

MercyIsEliminated · 26/01/2024 19:00

The phrase that stood out to me in your post was "she is now a different dog." She isn't herself anymore. If she has lost so much of what makes up her personality, I would probably make the hard decision to have her put to sleep. Even though she still enjoys walks and treats, it sounds as though she is suffering in numerous ways (not necessarily all physical).

It is always terrible to be faced with such a heartbreaking decision, but sometimes having a beloved dog put to sleep truly is the last kindness you can give her.

PureAmazonian · 26/01/2024 19:30

Her future doesn't hold anything more than further decline unfortunately OP.

Autumn1990 · 26/01/2024 19:30

Dementia is awful in dogs, we had one that was physically fine at 16 but had totally lost her marbles. We didn’t have the pee and poo inside but one day she changed from happy and in a world of her own to distressed and that was that.
Another dog we did say that was the end with messing indoors with no cause.
I think it would be kinder to let her go and either take her or get the vet to come out to her whichever would be easier for her.

Birchtree1 · 26/01/2024 19:36

If you feel its time for your lovely dog to be put to sleep you can tell your vet you feel it's time! They will understand and should have offered this option before.
We are only there to guide you and offer you all the options available and reasonable. But essentially you have to make this decision yourself.
Sending lots of love, it is awful to have to make this decision and let a pet go!

Mummy289 · 26/01/2024 22:17

She is a Lhasa apso cross; however she is really tall for a Lhasa, she has long legs bless her just under knee height x

OP posts:
Mummy289 · 26/01/2024 22:18

No sorry I know you didn’t, I suppose when she first started doing it because it was sporadic I thought she was being naughty 🤦🏼‍♀️, however the last year we have just got use to it and seen it as her need and nothing more.

OP posts:
Mummy289 · 26/01/2024 22:27

Thank you and I think that’s it. I have been out a couple of hours this evening come back and she is shaking but not excited to see me. Bet seemed to think it was pain but I don’t think it’s pain (she said maybe arthritis) because she is still mobil it’s more like confusion. She literally cowers down when I go to stroke her although I have never hurt her. I feel bad as it’s a busy household and it always has been and she never struggles with it but she does now you can tell it’s to much got her. I have to keep moving her and her bed in the kitchen to get to units and the fridge etc and she hates it. She ends up getting up and walking into the doors but the kitchen is narrow I can’t explain it but she ends up moving her self more in the way or into the backs of doors so she is stuck 🤦🏼‍♀️. I just feel she is stressed out. I just feel really guilty as I can’t give her what she needs right now. Peace and a quite adult only home who had loads of time to wash dogs beds and floors. 🤦🏼‍♀️. I suppose 15 years ago I didn’t think of her senior years. Although she loved every minute of being with the kids she was really a great family dog and loved playing with them. Would lay on their bed with them etc.

OP posts:
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