Dogs at grandparents.

[SianaW]

My daughter is 10. Her grandparents have a Staffordshire bull terrier. They have always had an outside dog run, baby gates and kept the dog downstairs to sleep. My daughter happened to mention that all of those things have now gone from her grandparents house, and that last time she slept over the dog slept with them in their bed. That makes me uneasy so I messaged her nan and asked what had happened to these safety measures, her reply was that she's decided they don't need them anymore and if I'm not happy about it then she just won't have her over. AIBU or is this a bit odd..? I feel at 10 safety measures are still needed.

If they're all on the same bed and this is a well behaved family dog used to your dd then I can't see there's much issue from a safety point of view for a 10 year old. I'm not sure the asthma issue holds much water either as the house will be full of allergens that could trigger an attack.

Having said that ..... Our dogs have the run of the house and I often wonder how they would be with any grandchildren we might be fortunate enough to have in the future. In that scenario I'd like to think I would be at pains to make sure the child's parents were happy with the arrangements I put in place to keep the child safe. And I certainly wouldn't alter those arrangements without first checking that the parents were happy for me to do so.

Maintaining a good relationship with my grandchild's parents would be more important to me than my dogs' freedom indoors being temporarily and slightly curtailed.

The other thing to remember @SianaW if this dog has been around for many years, is that they will be getting on a bit. Older dogs sometimes don't like being left alone. So while the dog maybe used to be ok being shut out/sleeping alone, that might not be the case anymore.

I've known them for over 15 years. They have always had dogs, this dog is approximately 5 I'd say. Their set up has always been to have the baby gates permanently in situ to stop any of their dogs having the run so to speak / and the dogs downstairs to sleep whilst she's been there up until this last visit. I told my daughter she was sleeping there tomorrow and she bought it up and said she felt a bit weary and asked me was it ok. I said I'd ask nanny what had changed so that's what I did... I think I'll leave it rest for now and just see if her nan comes back to me. If she does I'll highlight my daughter's feelings and see what she suggests.

Seems majority of dog owners who’s dogs turned and attacked are surprised and comment how out of character that was.
I’d never let a child sleep in a bed with a dog.

Yes exactly that, it does worry me especially a big jump from one extreme to another, for the dog and for my daughter.

Kwam31. There is no need to be rude to anyone. Everyone can put their point forward without being abused. Thank you.

I've not been abusive, pointed out the sheer stupidity of a comment, I did note you trotted out this myth as well.
Someone disagreeing with you isn't rude or abusive.

The whole undertone of you messages are abusive.

They say they’re surprised because - I ignored all the previous incidents leading up to this one doesn’t come across so well.

OP - there’s honestly no need for an adult dog with no behavioural issues to be kept separate from a 10 year old...if she’s there every couple of weeks it knows her fine.

The asthma and sleeping is a different issue, though tbh, I find it a bit weird that a 10 yr old is sharing a bed with her grandmother rather than the dog. If there’s nowhere for her to sleep I’d have stopped her sleeping over when her uncle moved back in.

My daughter sharing a bed with her grandmother for a girly sleepover and a movie really doesn't bother me one bit tbh! She comes into my bed for treat movie nights / shares beds with cousins and friends at sleepovers. No drama there at all my end x

May aswell, if they bite they're very reluctant to let go. Most dogs will let go of something if you raise your voice at them, bull breeds are more reluctant if something goes wrong. Lock jaw is quite apt for those dogs even if it's not a unique mechanism, it quite literally feels like a locked jaw.

OP, is it an actual staffy or a STAFFY? The problem now is I see alot of people with straight up apbts calling it a staffy mix. They're more dangerous here than they are in the US where they're legal, most likely their genetic origins are for a violent purpose. Little staffies are lovely, I wouldn't trust alot of "staffies" as far as I could throw them.

I'm not sure tbh. It could be a mix or a real staffie. I can't tell the difference. He's a very friendly dog, but constantly yaps at her socks she said. I'm sure they will try and keep her safe. But the operative word is 'try'. I just feel you can't guarantee any breed of dog complete safety, even if it's your pet and you trust it. And it was a big jump from all these extra measures they felt they needed ( we didn't force them upon them ) to no measures at all. My daughter mentioned it made her a bit weary. I have just left it for now, and I'll wait until her grandmother comes back to us and see what she suggests and go from there.

I think you’re being a bit overprotective. If they’ve had this dog a long time and there is always someone around when your DD is there, I think it’s fine. Staffies are lovely dogs.

Staffordshire bull terriers do not have lock jaw. No dogs do. They are also one of only 2 breeds that have child friendly on their breed description. They are tolerant and reliable.
However if your daughter has asthma and you prefer her not to sleep with the dog, you should definitely say so.

You are massively overreacting and it doesn’t sound you like the grandma much. How old is the dog? If he has been around for years nothing is going to happen. Being honest you sound hugely over protective

May aswell, if they bite they're very reluctant to let go. Most dogs will let go of something if you raise your voice at them, bull breeds are more reluctant if something goes wrong. Lock jaw is quite apt for those dogs even if it's not a unique mechanism, it quite literally feels like a locked jaw.

Whether a dog will let go of something or not is generally a matter of training and has very little to do with their breed or the shape of their jaw.

Perpetuating the "lock jaw" myth of the nineties just makes you look a bit silly when science and canine biology shows us that it doesn't exist.

Yes, some dogs have a stronger bite force than others, but that doesn't mean they're less willing to let go or that they're more likely to inflict damage on someone.

Off all the breeds I've worked with over the years, the nastiest bite came from a Labrador.

My bite was from a collie who bit the back of my leg when I was standing in a cafe in a park. Apparently I was too close to it but bearing in mind I was in front surely they should have moved back! Not a serious one and owner told me dog was nervous of crowds and people coming too close

Not sure where you get the impression I don't like my mother in law much. I think I highlight we get on well, don't argue, she's a loving grandparent, my daughter shares a bed with her and enjoys her time with her and generally positive things throughout.