Anyone have a dog with extreme separation anxiety?

[Doodledangle]

My rescue of 4 months has extreme separation anxiety meaning he can't be left alone at all. We have just started the 'Be Right Back' programme but it's very slow baby steps and being able to pop to the shops alone still seems like a lifetime away. Anyone else with a pup that suffers with SA? It's tough and I'm sure our friends and family think we're being precious. I thought we'd covered all bases before getting a dog in terms of getting the house ready, securing dog walkers & identifying friends to dog sit/cover holidays etc but his SA has it's thrown all plans out of the window.

I thought I'd start this thread as a place to find solidarity, comfort and share stories of hope & success so do join if your pup suffers too as it's quite a lonely place sometimes and has meant major adjustments we hadn't predicted.

SA is very demanding but it is solvable if you persevere. You do need to persevere if you want to solve it. My first dog had SA and it was extremely limiting as this was before wfh was available.
Flitting is the key and the Facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support is excellent.

Keep following the sub threshold training and it will come good but it can take months. It’s absolutely solvable though. I’ve known lots if rescues who were extreme and are now cured but it’s a big commitment and you do have to manage all absences.

Agree with this.

It's also worth bearing in mind that when a dog is rescued their separation anxiety goes through the roof.

If they were in foster care before - they get used to the fosterers and suddenly have new 'people' and a new routine which can send them tumbling back. Usually they find their feet a bit faster (IME) as they get used to you.

If you've taken them from Kennels it's a bit different. You've given them everything they ever wanted (home, love, food on time, water, walks, cuddles etc). They'll be wary of letting you out of their sight because they are worried that they'll be abandoned again. This can take longer as the fear/worry is more ingrained.

Sometimes, within a few months, it will naturally calm down to more manageable levels (it did with my first dog who was a rescue) as they get used to the fact that they are not going to be abandoned again.

But the main point is it takes time and commitment. You'll get there!

I saw an episode of that programme with the dog "supernanny" type woman about separation anxiety. It was really good. I've googled for it to link it for you but can't find it. I'm only getting programmes with a male trainer but that's not it. I wonder if you know or anyone else knows what show it was?

One of the things she suggested (as well as that process of teaching the dog you are coming back) is to give the dog some special fun toys to play with that he only gets when you are going out that he will like - the main one I remember was a kind of ball/polyhedron thing that you could put snacks in so the dog can smell them. It's set up so that if he rolls it about enough in the right way, it will dispense a snack but the dog has to have a good try - they don't just dispense the snacks easily. So it was very very engaging for the dog who likes it and gets absorbed into trying to get another treat.

It was a good programme. They filmed the dogs when the owners were out and some of them were really sad - dogs soiling themselves and howling for hours - but the suggestions and ways of managing it were really great. Wish I could remember what it was called... anyone know?

Flitting is not really recommended for dogs with severe SA. It is great for mild SA, FOMO and with puppies to start the separation/independence process but if a dog already has SA the flitting will make it worse. Been there, tried it and discussed it with a behaviourist and trust me it was a bad idea for my dog.

Using toys as a poster says is also outdated advise and no longer recommended.

OP - it is very possible to work through it but it is so so hard and it is a long process. There will be setbacks but it can be done. We went from not being able to stand up without a reaction to a much more relaxed dog, I can get to the local convenience store (can be there and back in 15), and in some situations she's happy for a couple of hours home alone. At the beginning she would freak out if just one of us left (regardless of the fact we'd left her with someone) which is completely not a problem anymore.

@TerrierOrTerror I think it depends on the dog. Flitting definitely worked with our rescue dog. You are right though, i do it with all my dogs from pups and none have developed SA.

Yes! I will reply in more detail later but we have managed to go from our rescue barking the second the front door shuts to being able to leave him for an hour (so far). He also couldn't be left with anyone other than me or my husband but we're now able to leave him for the evening with my son.

Yes. My puppy is 4 months. Can't be left, at all. He was part of an abandoned litter. Everyone reassures me that it can get better. Here with you for solidarity.

I also hadn't come across Be Right Back, so I'll be looking at that.

These stories of SA dogs being left for even short periods fill me with hope so thank you!
@BackToLurk Be Right Back is same as the Facebook group recommended upthread. I've been following for about a month & started 'Door is a Bore' straightaway but only properly joined in the new year. I am feeling more in control/optimistic about the situation with an actual training plan & schedule to follow. OK so I'm only at the 20 second stage but this is MASSIVE compared to a month ago and I've noticed he's not always leaping up the minute I do which is another positive shift

@GenericWoman I'll definitely take a look at that Youtube video thanks always good to see new perspectives and ideas but sadly toys definitely don't distract him & he's not massively food driven😂

@Devilshands he's not come from a kennel thankfully (1 previous loving albeit naïve owner)

Be good to hear from you @Reallybadidea. I am lucky that a friend is happy having him for the odd evening and he's fine going to her house but it's evening when I know she's not going anyway plus as a single mum of 3 without her own dog it's not something I ask too often or for long periods.

I'm contemplating trying doggy day-care or finding a regular walker/sitter (away from home) once a week even just for a few hours but unsure whether this would be detrimental or beneficial to the SA training I'm doing.

Having a sitter/daycare/walker etc is likely to be beneficial particularly if you ease them in gradually - I think the Julie Naismith group refer to this as "sharing the love".

It is also absolutely necessary as you need a break from your dog too - I adore my dog so so much but even with the progress we've made she isn't (and I don't think ever will be) a dog who can just be left without much prep. So having daycare (which for us is home-based, not just running around in a field) means we can go out, go to the office etc and not have to worry.

This may be an interesting listen / watch for you on SA

When he was younger, our beagle could never be left - he would howl and try to rip up the carpets or break through the front door.

He's now five and while he is much better, I have to say he'll never be the type of dog who could happily be left for long periods of time. We're finally at a point where he can be left for an hour or two after a walk, but we have to be quite specific with his routine otherwise he panics.

He has the TV on - normally something like The Simpsons, low lighting (fairy lights) and we make sure we close all the curtains. I don't leave him with food because of the choking risk. I make sure he has his favourite blanket as well as something that smells of me and I don't make a fuss when I leave - but I always get all my stuff together, say "bye (dog), I won't be long, be good" and go straight out. I don't fuss him when I get back either, just say hello.

@catelynjane

He has the TV on - normally something like The Simpsons, low lighting (fairy lights) and we make sure we close all the curtains... I make sure he has his favourite blanket as well as

This wording "he has the TV on" is so cute. I'm imagining this beagle sitting bak in a winged arm chair wearing a green velvet smoking jacket, watching something like the Simpsons in low level lighting with a glass of brandy to paw. Maybe in March he might watch a bit of Crufts and judge his brethern from his little Men's Club.

Our lab had this badly. What worked for her was taking it very slowly- literally building up 2 mins at a time. Plus distraction with toys. We found any rushing out her back so took it at a snails pace. She’s still not brilliant but it’s manageable. Leaving talk radio on in another room (door shut) was a help.

@GenericWoman he does like to sit like a person so it genuinely wouldn't surprise me if he did that

@catelynjane I'll take an hour or two! We both wfh and I've got various teens at home and friends able to help if we want to go out for dinner or a pre-planned day out, but it's the regular more mundane things like doing a shop, going out for a bike ride or getting my haircut with dog in tow I'm struggling with.