Anyone want a support system for people struggling to walk their dogs?

[Befop]

I have 3 small breed dogs all over age 6.

In the last few years my anxiety has taken over to the point I'd say Im agoraphobic.

My dogs are little and don't need a huge walk so I'm just going to try and take them out everyday.

It also doesn't help that years ago my dog was attacked and ended up getting run over after escaping from attacking dog.

So I'm scared to go parks etc now.

A few days ago I took them park and TWO separate people let their dogs run over unleashed.

And I literally shake because I think it's going to happen again.

But my dogs deserve a walk everyday. Even if it's just the streets, not park

They're so spoilt. Best raw food diets. Probiotics Toys. Snuffle mats. Licky mats. We spend all day playing and cuddling but a walk is important.

I have to try harder.

You could also do some agility inside, improvising if you don't have equipment - so weaving around cups, using a broom as a jump etc. Ditto scent games.

And let their dogs run over whilst shouting 'he's friendly!!!'
We dont currently have any dogs, i had a little terrier a few years ago and had to grab her quickly once when 2 big off lead dogs lunged at her. My terrier was shaking and terrified. I ended up with a cut leg and a ripped dress from one of the dogs trying to get her, it was really scary and I've never felt safe around big dogs since. The owner's couldn't care less, no apology, no attempt to control their dogs, nothing. That type of entitled dog owners are disgusting people. My DC have had dogs running up to them and jumping or pushing against them and their owners are just yelling about the dog being friendly like that helps my child or like that justifies letting an untrained dog they cant control of their lead. I think the idea of going when people arent around much could be a good way to get back into it.

Try cinnamon trust. They arrange and insure people to walk dogs for elderly or disabled or housebound. Good luck

Your dogs will.be picking up on your anxiety unfortunately. You probably are best keeping to streets, find a time when its quieter through trial and error. They'll get stimulation through sniffing and if they do happen to meet another friendly dog, a quick exchanges of " kisses" and walk straight on. It may be if you stick to the same time you might get to know other dig walkers and that will make it less stressful. But I agree with you, they do need a daily walk.

I get annoyed when people let their dogs off in the park. There are signs forbidding this but no one cares. There should be designated areas for this.

I’ve got an anxious dog that I avoid parks with, it’s too much for him to have off lead dogs bounding over.
Echo borrow my doggy
Also I know you said you can’t afford daily walking but would once or twice a week take the pressure off you. A few dog walkers near me offer a “toilet walks” service which is about 20/30 minutes Street walking and is far cheaper than a normal walk. Might be worth seeing if some do?

Could you walk them really early like 6am? I sometimes take my wee lad out at that time and although there is a few people/dogs out it is quiet mainly and the dogs are all on leads. This is just a street walk. Might be a good time to start - just round the block at 6am and build up from there. It will make such a difference to them even to just do this. Good luck x

I've woken up today feeling absolutely wank mentally.

Am sat in PJs watching a film. Covered in sleepy dogs.

I had such productive plans for today (big tidy and dog walks) and I just want to go to bed and cry :(

Sorry to read your latest update, OP.
I think you need to get help for your own anxiety and mental health problems so you can help your dogs.
I have been in a similar position to you. I had a fear reactive dog and the stress of walking her sent me spiralling. You feel so utterly helpless and other people don't understand, don't care, have all sorts of unhelpful suggestions... It's extremely difficult.
If I had my time with her again, I wouldn't walk her and I'd suggest the same to you. At least for a while and then build up to street walks.
Dog walkers are not the answer. They don't help with your fear of them going out and in many ways you're right to be frightened, that's the sad truth of it. But of course your fear is affecting them too which I'm sure you know.
You say you interact with them a lot but I wonder if you might want to get a copy of Stop Walking Your Dog by Niki French. I've suggested her before but just she is nothing to do with me. It's just we all think dogs need walks but in some circumstances, maybe it's best not to walk them.

I also note you raw feed. I used to too but I switched now (she got to a point where she couldn't tolerate raw). I know you say you uses licki mats and the like but I guess you feed raw meat in a bowl? If you switch to cooked and dried food and snacks it's easier to feed in more inventive ways that keep them occupied if that makes sense?

But the main thing is to give yourself a break. Get help yourself so you can help them. Your dogs aren't young and (I'm presuming you've got a garden) and that might be enough for them with some street walks when you are ready. If not, then activities in the house for now at least.

Last thing, have you thought about calming supplements for your dogs? They might help.

do you have anybody that could walk with you ?

I wouldn't presume that Op is not already getting help. She hasn't said so.

Not a dig at you redboxer (just a tangent) but "get help" it often trotted out on MN with the apparent belief that once the OP gets help there won't be a problem any more, the MH issues will be resolved. If she's already on meds or therapy a lot of people essentially say "get more help then."

No-one wants to hear about the mental health shit that just goes on and on and on.

I've been where you are OP it sucks, I'm sorry. I used to have to walk my reactive dog v late at night.

@Latewinter
If I've offended or annoyed anyone or spoken out of turn, then I apologise.
I do understand about mental health problems, believe me.
I was trying to offer something different to the get a dog walker type suggestions.

It is hard isn't it? I have a reactive dog, due to being attacked by other off lead dogs, I know her limitations, and try my best to avoid situations that will set her off (and back), but I can't control the idiots who have no control over their dogs and just shout "oh they're friendly!", whilst mine is obviously not, and very obviously on a lead (hi viz, you can't miss it!).

How about a sniffy walk? Avoid the parks, go different routes around where you live and let them have a good sniff. Tires their brains out, and chills them out as they've had to think. Less likely to come across off lead dogs, and can be as long or short as you like, start short and build up? I realise this may not be ideal, as it is nice to see dogs running about, but it could be an idea for you in between any opportunities you may find for them to run loose?

I really feel for you, OP, and anyone struggling with anxiety around dog walking. Our boy is a big gun dog, going on 9 years old now. And since lockdown, dog walking, something that used to be the highlight of my day, has just become an endurance test. I try to enjoy it and take this time for myself and the kids (when they're not at school), but we've had so many attacks on our dog in the past couple of years. And if he's not attacked, we're dealing with reactive dogs on a daily basis that jump-scare the shit out of me. I have a bad heart, congenital. I'm at risk of going into arrest. I know that sounds so cliche: 'My heart's bad', but it's true. I've already had one cardiac arrest. So when these dogs come at mine, my heart just goes nuts (as anyone's would except I really am at risk of going into a life threatening arrhythmia. It sucks, to be honest). My children and I often talk about how much less we enjoy dog walks. They're very hard on my youngest who is autistic and witnessed a particularly brutal attack on our dog. We had an incident two years ago where an off lead German Shepherd went for my dog and literally had his neck in his mouth. My poor dog was yelping like mad, got quite a nasty injury. The owner did NOTHING. I used a spray that my postie gave me (it's the one they carry on their rounds)and it worked. The German Shepherd unlocked and everything calmed down. We walked off. My priority was to have my dog looked at by the vet. But that was thwarted by the dog owner picking up a log from a recently chopped tree and running after my son, my dog, and me, threatening to kill me for spraying his dog. It was an utterly awful situation. We were absolutely crying and screaming. It was terrifying. It has ruined dog walking for me. I do it because I have to. But I've never really enjoyed dog walking since. I'll never own another dog after our boy goes. Too many strange dogs and owners out there now. The landscape has definitely changed. I used to chat and walk with other dog owners over the years. I can't imagine doing that now.

I'm sorry to not offer solutions. Just a handhold and total understanding.

Sometimes when we are in a low phase we overplan, then we can't do it all so we freeze and do nothing which makes us feel more shit. I get it, me too.

The key to it all is little, as often as you can. But you need to start somewhere. Do a small tidy and be proud of yourself for doing something. Do another small tidy tomorrow and by the end of the week those small bits equal a HUGE tidy.

Leave the dog walking for another day.

Cinnamon Trust can help.
Or do you have someone who could walk with you? Maybe they could hold a dog so you don’t get tangled?
Hire a safe field for a run?

I haven’t read everyone’s posts except yours but could you manage one of them once a day, leaving two behind? They aren’t being walked at the moment so the ones not being walked won’t be bothered by lack of walks. You can manage one of them much more easily, and only facing one walk a day is much easier for your mental health than 2 walks (with 2x dogs then 1x dog). Take one out today, a different one tomorrow and the third the next day.

if you step outside and only manage 10 minutes then that’s better than nothing. Don’t set yourself up to fail thinking you have to take them all out for a long walk. I know how hard it is with poor mental health but your dogs sound like they have a great life so don’t beat yourself up too much

Well done OP, my dog has been attacked and it took so long to build both of us back up and I still feel hyper vigilant on walks, they’re not relaxing.
Not sure if this would help but, would taking one dog out at a time work? Even if just 20-30 mins each? So like one in the early morning, one midday and one in the early evening? I only suggest it as I find it’s easier to focus and if necessary protect one dog as you can pick it up, get out the way easier if need be.
Just a thought, and please know that you’re doing your best and it will improve x

edit just to say pavement walks are actually great for dogs, lots of different smells for them and, for anxiety purposes, again easier in that you can see dogs coming towards you easier and will more than likely be on leads.

No, sorry, you didn't at all, I just got the sense that OP has struggled with this stuff for a while and it made me think about how often I hear the kind of stuff I was talking about on these kinds of threads.I didn't mean to imply that you were getting at the OP or don't have understanding of mental health issues. Your post was lovely and supportive, I wasn't trying to pick holes in it. Just rambling a bit.

I've had therapy and CBT therapy. Am on propranolol, 40mg citalopram. I take CBD oil.
I'm awaiting an ADHD assessment but it's years waiting list.

I try the CBT tactic but they're so based on 'the worst case scenario is so unlikely' but the worst case scenario happened to us and my fear is unleashed dogs running at us and it happens EVERY time we go to the park.

So the coping strategies just don't seem to work in this particular situation.

I have a husband but he works extremely long hours doing a physical job so by the time he's home he just wants to flop and it's dark already. I feel guilty asking him to get back on his feet to take the dogs out when he's only just stopped and I've been sat here all day watching TV :(

I'm going to try and take someone for a walk at 1pm.

I wonder if you had some kind of shopping trolley or dog pram would help?

That way you wouldn’t have the worry of walking all three at once and tangled leads. You could have one or even two of them out of the pram at a time, so you don’t have to keep an eye on all three at once.

Then when you get to the park you have somewhere to keep them safe and higher up if any other dogs come bounding over. You can let all three out when it feels safe to you. You’ll have the ability to get to the quietest space in the park before you let them out.

Even if the first couple of times they spend mostly in the pram, you get to go out of the house (but with less stress) and they get to see fresh sights.

You may be able to get one second hand. My Dd had a dog push chair for her puppy then gave it to her neighbours who had little dogs.

If you build up confidence for a park try to find a quiet time of day. Around 11am seems a very quiet time of day for dogs locally to us.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time OP. It's clear to me that your dogs are loved and very well cared for: you are giving them enrichment activities at home, and really it's not the end of the world if they don't have walks every day as long as they have activities to do at home, which you are providing. As someone else suggested already you could give food in the form of games rather than in a bowl (maybe you're already doing this with the snuffle mats). Take the pressure off yourself. Would it help if you had a dog walk buddy to go out with?

Good luck! Even if it's only ten minutes walking up and down your street it will be an amazing achievement

I try the CBT tactic but they're so based on 'the worst case scenario is so unlikely' but the worst case scenario happened to us and my fear is unleashed dogs running at us and it happens EVERY time we go to the park.
It's unleashed dogs in the park so don't go to the park. At all. You will have less unleashed dogs walking around the streets and any that are will generally have amazing recall.