Am I being mean?

[opalescent]

This is my first dog- do I have no benchmark,and would benefit from third party perspective!

My spaniel is 2.5.
I think she has a very full life- busy household with 2 kids who love to play. At least two walks a day, more often 3.
She spends time here at home, but also often goes along with DH to the house that he's renovating.

Today, she had a lovely long walk around the lake at the park this morning. This afternoon she went to the football with DH, and spent a couple of hours outdoors with him, and occasionally let off lead for a run around.

She's had tea.

At this point in the evening, she starts to dither around looking for lots of attention. It's a busy time of the evening with the kids, and it's been a long day. Later this evening she will snuggle up on the sofa with me. But until the kids go to bed, it's much easier to have her out of the way so we can chill and watch an hours telly with them.

Is it fair to shut her in the kitchen with the radio on for an hour or two to chill out until the kids are in bed?

If she'd chill in the lounge I'd let her, but she doesn't. Not until the kids are in bed. Until then she's a pain in the bum.

Thoughts?

I'd absolutely do this. It helps them learn to settle imo. Going in the living room is a privilege did my dog. Took a while before I'd let her in alone and now she appreciates the sofa as much as we do!

Your dog is living her best life, you should like amazing dog owners. If you need some downtime from her, you should totally do it. Don’t feel guilty or mean, she’s having more than enough attention, walks etc.

It sounds as if her needs are generally being met.
Dogs like routine just like kids. Dogs need boundaries, just like kids.

If she’s settled in the kitchen whilst you are occupied elsewhere and isn’t barking and howling and she’s had sufficient exercise during the day, then there’s nothing cruel about her time out.

IF she is kicking off, try caging her in the lounge? Would that work? She can see you so she’s still engaged but would be controlled.

Thank you all. Much appreciated. My rational mind tells me that she gets a lot of exercise and stimulation, but as a spaniel, she rarely seems fulfilled! 😂
She doesn't kick off in the kitchen at all, but I hear her pacing a bit, and it gives me the same discomfort I get from my kids being unsettled.

You could leave her with a chew. They're very good for chilling dogs out. Just be careful she doesn't become too protective of it

Thanks for this. I do find chews brilliant for chilling her out, but she goes through them quite fast. Yakkers are great; but maybe only last her a couple of days! Always on the lookout for cost effective long lasting chews

It sounds like she desperately needs some down time but is looking for some direction for you & it's busy all around her which can be confusing, hence the dithering, maybe leave her alone with a filled kong to enjoy which will give her something lasting & relaxing to focus on and is safer than a chew or bone It will become part of her routine and she will probably look forward to it

I love this idea, I have a kong and forget to use it. This would be the perfect time of the evening to do so. Will try this from tomorrow, thank you.

It’s fine. Maybe invest in a few large Kongs that you can stuff and freeze to give her something g to work on.

Oh. Too late 😂

• have just filled her kong with roast leftovers and popped it in the freezer ready for tomorrow evening. Thanks again all 😊

If it becomes part of her routine she'll find a way to remind you in my experience 😂

My spaniel would scrape at the door if we put her in a room and shut the door when we're all up and about in other rooms, would she do this OP?
I totally get what you mean though, ours mills about until we all settle down for the evening and kids go to bed. We got her a kitten and they play together now so that's a good distraction, but mostly we just ignore her and she gets the message, most of the time 🤣

Can I chuck in @opalescent that if you can please work on a settle/place skill with her- it’s super valuable for really active dogs and will help both her and you experience the time alone positively rather that as a stress.

I think she'll be delighted with that !

Teach a settle command so she will settle down on a mat or rug or bed. Put a mat in each room so you can settle her wherever she is.

I wonder if you are overstimulating her so she struggles to settle down because she’s constantly busy usually.

I have a 17 month old spaniel, absolute idiot but he is generally good at settling down when we want him to. If we tell him to go lie down, he will, either to have a nap or just watch what’s happening in the house.

He only gets 1 walk a day, but plenty of brain stimulation by playing games, finding things, we give him natural chews etc. These things fire him out far more than an additional walk does.

The kong is an excellent idea but if you're going to give her a filled one regularly then maybe cut her dinner down slightly so she's not stocking up too much on the calories. I know spaniels are very active, so maybe not as important for this breed so much as others.

I also agree the kong is a good idea, would also recommend finding a good natural treats shop or ordering online. Ours has had everything from pizzles (bull penis 🤢) to trachea! He loves them, has one a day and knows that he gets it when DS comes home from school. He gets that whilst DS has snack time, as soon as I get home from the school run he runs to the cupboard where he knows we keep his treats!

I really need to do this, thank you. It was one of the first things we learned at puppy classes, but I didn't really understand the significance of it at the time.
That said, I should explain that she is good at settling, as long as she is removed from stimulation. If I shut her in the kitchen, she won't bark. It's more my issue- that I feel guilty for separating her from the rest of us. But I agree that she needs rest to be enforced, she's just too busy and interested otherwise!

Very good point, will do