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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Helping a dog pass away at home

50 replies

Xmasblues · 26/12/2023 20:03

My dogs time is coming to an end.

She has cancer and is elderly.

She has been full of life for her entire life and the vet said I would know when it was time but I was unsure I would.

A couple of weeks ago she started slowing right down but will have the odd day of acting like a silly puppy again and so I’ve not taken her into the vets as I am worried it’s not yet her time.

The past couple of days it is noticeable that it is nearly time now.
This morning she didn’t eat her breakfast (first time in 16 years she’s turned down food) and that worried me but this evening she’s got her appetite back.

I cannot cope with the thought of taking my dog to the vets to die, especially because I don’t know if it’s the right time yet.

I don’t want to take her for selfish reasons but I also don’t want to stress her out.

I want her to be safe and comfy at home and go in her sleep.

There are vets that come to your home but again this may stress her out and you book them in advance and so what if I book them and then on the day she’s fine.

Has anyone helped their dog go in their sleep?

I don’t want to give her medications that may make her feel worse.
I wish I could get a euthanasia tablet from the vet.

I don’t want to withdraw food or water like they do with people as I want to make her last days as pleasant as possible.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I’m currently in bits.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 26/12/2023 21:27

Sending you a hug. It’s the hardest part of having a pet. But you have to focus on all the things they did for you, and how they loved you - now you’ve got one massive thing to do for them out of love.. You will, in the future, feel good that you didn’t let them suffer.

Dillane · 26/12/2023 21:36

Xmasblues · 26/12/2023 20:18

As I said I would not consider doing this.
I think you may have misread.

Show quote history

Haven’t ‘misread’ at all. You said ‘I don’t want to’ as if anyone would ever suggest that to you. How bizarre.

caringcarer · 26/12/2023 21:44

I asked the vet to come out to my 19 year old cat with cancer. When he no longer wanted tuna I knew the time had come. The vet told me 3 months before at his annual vaccination he had cancer but not advanced and could go on for possibly another 6 months but I should understand his best days were all behind him. I thought about that a lot. I let him have one last summer lying in the garden in his favourite spot in the sunshine, made a lot of fuss of him, but when it started to get colder and his arthritis was making it harder for him to walk I knew. The vet came out and gave him an injection with him lying on my lap being stroked and he closed his eyes and went to sleep. It was bloody hard because I'd had him since he was a kitten and my DC all loved him. My DD was at Uni but came home to see him on the weekend before he was PTS. Don't let your beloved pet suffer. Once they have cancer their best days are all behind them and then when don't want to eat I think their time has come.

Magicshoppingtrolley · 26/12/2023 21:49

We had a vet come out to our beloved dog and on the day he was in great form. He went for a walk , splashed in a lake and had steak and all his favourite foods. The vet actually said he could delay it if we wanted. BUT he had cancer and we knew he had gone downhill massively already - this was just a brighter day. A very wise friend said better a month too early than a second too late.

He went to sleep with us cuddling him and his favourite teddy. I was devastated but I know in my heart we did the right thing by him.

TwinklingLightsEverywhere · 26/12/2023 21:50

Always rather a day to early than a day too late. You will regret it if you leave it too late.

It sounds like you should be on the phone tomorrow to get her booked in.

You are doing this because you care deeply about her well being and do not want her to suffer. It is the right thing to do.

Wishthiswasntmypost · 26/12/2023 21:55

Don't engage with the poster trying to argue. It's not worth it.

You're having a traumatic time trying to choose the right time for your beloved dog. I've done this and it never felt right but the suffering was over and I was sure I'd done the right thing.

Stevie77 · 26/12/2023 21:56

Came to say exactly the same as @Allthecatsandcosyblankets. Our previous dog died at home, with us by her side, and it was so traumatic that it took us 5 years to get over it and even consider getting a new dog. She was 17 so was very old and as much as it was expected it was awful. I would really hope to not repeat that experience again, it was terribly upsetting and not nice for her too.

blobby10 · 26/12/2023 21:57

My first dog was put to sleep at home - vet came out to the house and it was lovely and peaceful and relaxed. Our other dog was there and she came with us to bury the other one at my parents house where they played lots.
second dog was put down at my parents house where she was going to be buried. Just as relaxed and peaceful and mums dog stayed with us to the end. Vet was awesome . Nurse was amazing. It was well worth the extra cost and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Wishthiswasntmypost · 26/12/2023 21:59

I took my lad to the vet...last patient of the day and we had lots of time to sit and cuddle. He was given an injection which removed his pain and anxiety and we spent time with him whilst he looked younger and happier for that. It made me panic about the decision but also demonstrated how much pain he was enduring. I was desperately upset but he didn't suffer anymore

peachescariad · 26/12/2023 22:00

Definitely vet to come to home. Ours was surrounded by us her family and vet arriving only aroused a curious glance and weak tail wag. In her own bed with her own smells and everyone's hands on her.

caramond · 26/12/2023 22:02

When I had to make this decision for my elderly cat, our very experienced vet said that people don't regret doing it too early but they do regret leaving it too late. Better a day too early when they still have some quality of life.

VegeBurgers · 26/12/2023 22:14

Xmasblues · 26/12/2023 20:43

Thank you to everyone who has commented.

I cannot cope at the thought of losing my dog.
I am a single parent with no support and apart from my child, I have no one else apart from her.
It has always just been us 3.
I could not have raised my child without her and I was suicidal with awful depression before getting her (she actually came to me I didn’t even want a dog!)

But I know I have to put my feelings aside and do what’s best for her.
As you’ve all said, she’s elderly and has cancer and she will only get worse.

Its much better than she goes sooner rather than later.
I couldn’t forgive myself if I let her carry on until she died of pain.

I’ve been hoping she would just go in her sleep but that hasn’t happened and so I’m going to ring the vets tomorrow and ask them to book her in when they next can.

They diagnosed the cancer and they knew it was going to happen but couldn’t say when.

I feel so sad for you. She’s your little soul mate.
Sending hugs.

HerMammy · 26/12/2023 22:23

I cannot cope at the thought of losing my dog.
I'm afraid you need to put her first, I hope she has pain relief.
Please arrange a vet visit, your dog is likely in pain and uncomfortable.
Please don't keep her going because you can't face pts, it's very unfair on her.

ThesecondLEM · 26/12/2023 22:34

I am so sorry for you. I ama vet nurse and have dealt with this many times. Every time I share some the owner's pain and I completely understand how you feel.

My advice would be to put things in place, arrange the visit and if on the day she's sprightly and doing OK, the option is there to cancel. Be aware that the vets will be busy and will do their very best to accommodate home visits but it isn't always possible with short notice. Saying that, In my experience, once an owner has come to the decision, its the right one and they find the strength to follow through. We have all bargained this way, you want them to live forever, which in a way, they do - in your heart x

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 26/12/2023 22:42

I'm sorry that you're in this position, it's awful but the last act of love for our loved pets.
Our boy suddenly slowed down and while was happy and still eating etc, wasn't himself. We knew it was time, gave him a lovely last weekend and took him to the vets on the Monday. He loved going to the vets so while hugely sad, it was a happy visit for him and he was relaxed.
I'd be taking yours as soon as you can get an appointment, far better a week early than having your pet suffer.

pickledandpuzzled · 26/12/2023 22:43

I am sorry.

You know what you need to do. We made a plan, chose the day, and started to spoil him rotten. Then a day or two later realised he wasn’t going to hang on until the nominated day so took him straight in.

you do need to plan for the remains- I opted to just let my boy go. I didn’t need his remains.

It’s sad, of course it is. It’s the price we pay for the joy they bring us.
You will get over it- really you will.

thelengthspeoplegoto · 26/12/2023 22:49

Really feel for you OP. My dog is lying at the foot of my bed, he's only 2 and at times a pain in the butt.
I love him though, the thought of saying goodbye to him is so sad.
I wish you strength over the next few weeks and months.
It sounds like you gave your girl a happy and beautiful life. X

MrsHamlet · 26/12/2023 23:14

We gave our dog a lovely last day with all the treat food she'd not been allowed for afed and lots of fuss. Then the vet gave her an injection and she slipped away in our arms.
Did we want another day? Of course. But it was her time to go.
Let yourself do this last thing for her.

Hopskiplou · 27/12/2023 00:15

Hi @Xmasblues hope you’re ok. I just read your thread and wanted to say I have done this - a home euthanasia for my beloved boy dog. It was not easy to think about or plan, but on the day, we gave him a good death. This might sound too much, right now, but a good death is what we all wish for and is what I wanted for my beautiful boy after 11 years.

I knew he was dying. I chose to let him die at a point he could limp to the door to greet the vets. He died eating roast chicken in the living room with one single injection. Literally dropped dead, and I only knew cos there was chicken left. He didn’t know a thing about it. It was a perfect death.

I fell apart a bit when he was gone. But I’ve never regretted his perfect death. Do it earlier rather than later, OP, at a time and in a way you can hold a memory like mine. Not at an emergency vets with added suffering.

good luck and we are all here if you need us x

Ricco12 · 27/12/2023 00:29

I’ve had multiple dogs PTS at home and always I ask the vets for a sedative which I give the dog so when vets arrived the dog is sleeping / sleepy so has no idea what’s going on. Then the dog is pts peacefully under sedation. Its costs extra but worth every penny to be done like this.

dressedforcomfort · 27/12/2023 10:01

Echo what previous posters have said about don't leave it too late. I had a pet guinea pig who died in my arms because we couldn't get her to a vet in time and it wasn't a peaceful death at all. Honestly kinder to put them to sleep a week too early than an hour too late.

muddyford · 27/12/2023 15:42

Don't do it yourself. Most vets will come to the house.

Beautyfadesdumbisforever · 27/12/2023 20:48

It’s such a hard thing to do but vets will come to you. I had my lovely boy put down at the end of August it was time.
The vet gave him a sedative under the skin in seconds he was out of it. He then but the anaesthetic in a vein in his leg and he just stopped breathing with me sitting on the floor with his head on my lap in his own home totally unstressed.
because my vet is just lovely he sat and talked to me for a good half hour afterwards.
my mother always told me it’s better done a day early than a day late.
sometimes you have to take a breath and step up and do what’s right and cry your eyes out later.
its hard on you but peaceful for the dog take care.

Work2live · 28/12/2023 12:13

We have just been through this with our beautiful dog @Xmasblues. We had him put to sleep at home just before Christmas.

We spoke to our vets about a home visit, which they said was possible but they didn’t have availability so close to Christmas. We eventually used a home euthanasia service from Cloud 9 Vets. It was expensive but the right decision for us, and we were also able to arrange for somebody from the crematorium to come and collect him afterwards.

He was sedated and fell fast asleep in DH’s arms before we laid him in his favourite bed to be put to sleep. It was incredibly emotional, but we knew it was the right time for him to go. It is the final act of love and kindness we can give them.

If you have any specific questions feel free to PM me 💐

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