When is it time?

[KatnissNeverdone]

My gorgeous girl is only 6 and a half and after a bit of back and forth to the vets for urinary infections she's been diagnosed with really invasive bladder cancer. It's in her lymph nodes and she has developed a secondary mammary tumour that is growing quickly. As the cancer has spread so quickly we've decided not to go ahead with chemo as it will only realistically give her another couple of months.

I lost my mum suddenly in October and I don't feel I can make the right decision for her as I don't want to let her go. She is still eating and drinking, hasnt lost much weight and is happy to go for a shortish walk and her pain seems under control, however she's a border collie and they're not known for wimping out of anything and I'm worried she's suffering more than she's letting on. There have been a few times when she's been pacing and she's started to lie down more gingerly, I think because the mammary tumour is uncomfortable. She could have surgery to remove that tumour but nothing they can do for the bladder tumour because of where it is and I don't think I want her to go through the pain of recovery.

She spends a lot more time sleeping but then if someone comes in she leaps up with tail wagging and she's happy to roll round with the kids. I just don't know what to do.

I'm so sorry to hear about your poor girl and for what you are going through so soon after the loss of your mum. I was in a very similar situation. My boy was still eating, drinking, shorter walks but still enjoying life. He then went downhill very quickly and it was obvious, even to me, that it was time. It sounds to me as if your girl still has some decent quality of life left in her at the moment, obviously keeping her pain under control is the main thing. If she were to stop eating, drinking etc and appeared to be in pain that the meds weren't helping with, then I think you'd know and accept that it was time.

My vet told me, “better a week too early than a day too late” and I think that is wise. My old boy was still getting pleasure from seeing people and eating, but he couldn’t lie down comfortably and I felt that was time - I worried about him in the night, what if he needed a drink and couldn’t get up, or could get up but then not back down?

I’m so sorry for your loss of your mum and now your lovely dog. x

 so sorry about your mum and then this.

It's so hard to judge.
Lying down more gingerly doesn't necessarily mean bad pain, we do that if we've got an ache or suchlike. I'd tend to agree with @Itsuitsyou that she's still on balance enjoying life.

I'd say when there are more bad days than good. I know it's easy to say but I really think you will know. I have been through it a few times sadly and I have known every time and not regretted it once. Felt sad obviously but known it was the right decision.

Thanks everyone. We've never really had to make a decision like this before and although i dont want to make the wrong one I also dont want her to be in pain. All our other pets have been put to sleep at what seems the "natural end" if that makes sense.

She's definitely having more good days than bad at the moment, especially because she's being totally spoiled by everyone. She's such a sweetheart and having her was so worth the first three years of her being a total pain in the arse.

We're all going to miss her so much, especially my 13 year old pom who has pretended complete indifference since we got her. For the last few weeks he's followed her round like a shadow.