Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Am I being selfish to want to adopt a dog?

89 replies

blobby10 · 28/11/2023 15:11

Following my divorce in 2015 our two labradors and now young adult children stayed with me. Dogs died in 2017 and 2018 (both aged 14) . My partner died Nov 22 and children all live away and I'm wondering whether to try to adopt a dog but I'm worried its for selfish reasons as I'm lonely.

I work full time - not an issue as I run the business and the dog can come to work with me in the offices and on the rare occasions I visit customers. There are numerous footpaths and fields to walk in between home and work if we get fed up with walking around home plus my parents have two big fields we could use.

I live alone except for DS#2 who is temporarily living with me and working at home - dog could stay with him at home initially until she settles? House has a garden albeit it small.

If my plans comes to fruition I will get a one person caravan in the spring and plan to visit many areas of the UK for weekend trips to go walking which obv dog would come too.
My main hobbies are gym (when I'm fit) 90 mins at 5am. cycling is 2-3 hours a day at the weekend and occasionally after work in the summer. I don't go abroad or visit friends for weekends or do any social stuff.
My parents and two sisters all have adopted dogs and I have learned a huge amount from them - things to do and not to do! . I am much much calmer and quieter than I was when we had the labradors and don't have young children or grandchildren around. Am I the right sort of person to be considered suitable to adopt a dog or does the fact that I work full time preclude me?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Original poster
blobby10 · 02/12/2023 17:07

Thanks everyone especially those suggesting names of alternative shelters. I’m very wary of greyhound/lurcher/whippet breeds as their legs are so fragile I would be terrified of breaking one! Similarly small breeds- I looked after my sisters jack Russell who is adorable but SO small- I’m tall so he was a long way down 🤣🤣. Looking really for anything from springer spaniel size to Labrador to Akita!

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 02/12/2023 17:31

I don't think greyhounds etc are as fragile as they look 😃 my aunt and uncle had lurchers for years they are sturdier looking.

Buildingthefuture · 02/12/2023 17:32

Greyhounds are far more sturdy than you could imagine (I’ve had a lot!) and so, so easy to keep, train and look after. If you are dead against a Grey, have a look at Second Chance Rescue. They have a lot of bigger/retriever types. But honestly? Don’t rule out the teeny dogs. My DH when I met him had only ever had “ proper” dogs…..spaniels/labs etc. I adopted a long haired chihuahua, which he was fine with, but largely uninterested. In his opinion, she wasn’t a “real” dog so, whilst he was happy for me to adopt her, he wouldn’t be getting involved. That lasted 24 hours. After that, she was “Daddy’s Bobby dazzler” and he adored her 🥰🥰 He now loves the (frankly far too many) tiny dogs we have. Tiny dogs are portable, still love a good long walk, are more easily manageable and live longer! Something to think about….(and I’m tall too!)

Vicliz24 · 02/12/2023 17:33

I can heartily recommend whippets / small lurchers . Perfect dogs don't need too much exercise, lazy and happy to snuggle in their comfy beds . Incredibly loving gentle souls .

Vicliz24 · 02/12/2023 17:34

Also not that fragile. They are much tougher than they look .

BurntOrangeAutumn · 02/12/2023 17:40

You sound lovely any doggy will be lucky to have you as their mum ❤

ilovesushi · 02/12/2023 17:50

Have a look at Black Retriever X Rescue on facebook. I think they are Ireland based but they also bring some dogs over to the UK. Some beautiful dogs and lots of labs.

Original poster
blobby10 · 02/12/2023 18:03

Buildingthefuture · 02/12/2023 17:32

Greyhounds are far more sturdy than you could imagine (I’ve had a lot!) and so, so easy to keep, train and look after. If you are dead against a Grey, have a look at Second Chance Rescue. They have a lot of bigger/retriever types. But honestly? Don’t rule out the teeny dogs. My DH when I met him had only ever had “ proper” dogs…..spaniels/labs etc. I adopted a long haired chihuahua, which he was fine with, but largely uninterested. In his opinion, she wasn’t a “real” dog so, whilst he was happy for me to adopt her, he wouldn’t be getting involved. That lasted 24 hours. After that, she was “Daddy’s Bobby dazzler” and he adored her 🥰🥰 He now loves the (frankly far too many) tiny dogs we have. Tiny dogs are portable, still love a good long walk, are more easily manageable and live longer! Something to think about….(and I’m tall too!)

I have this awesome mental image of you and your equally tall DH surrounded by about 50 tiny dogs all demanding attention 😂😂xx The only small dog that ever really appealed to me was a King Charles Cavalier but I haven't seen any on the rescue sites.

OP posts:
Original poster
blobby10 · 02/12/2023 18:05

Vicliz24 · 02/12/2023 17:33

I can heartily recommend whippets / small lurchers . Perfect dogs don't need too much exercise, lazy and happy to snuggle in their comfy beds . Incredibly loving gentle souls .

A friend of mine has a whippet who is, as you say, adorable but still so very fragile!!

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 02/12/2023 18:30

I have put a "watch" on this thread as I think you would make such a fabulous dog owner. I'm hoping you will keep us up-dated as I would love to follow your journey to find your forever doggy friend.

bluepencilstoo · 02/12/2023 18:40

Look up Yappy Ever After and Labrador rescues
You'll be a great dog owner. I was widowed and had a dog - she really helped me rebuild my life and stopped me getting too lonely or sad - I had to think of her needs

I'm sure she knew I needed her as she was always at my side.

oobladay · 02/12/2023 18:55

Try high hopes dog rescue - they have a Facebook page which I think is most up to date. They have lots of rescues from abroad but not all are. They seem very sensible about their homing criteria and offer ongoing support. We got our lovely lab x puppy from them.

Giventoomuchchoice · 02/12/2023 19:04

Small dogs can be really hardy. You say you'd be happy with a King Charles but not a Jack Russel?

We have a rehomed King Charles, she's both totally pathetic in that she'll happily sit on a lap and not walk all day or cry out if you step near her foot but equally run up Skafell Pike without out sound.

Little dogs are great at making a fuss but not meaning it. Don't write them all off because you don't want a small dog.

Buildingthefuture · 02/12/2023 19:23

@blobby10 - yep. That pretty much describes my house 🤣🤣 But I agree with another poster about Yappy Ever After. They’ve had a couple of lovely labs recently (we have labs too!) But honestly, providing you don’t go madly of piste (adopting a collie when you hate walking for example) whatever dog you chose will bring you massive joy. It’s a privilege to see a previously neglected/Ill treated/abused dog learn that it is now safe, to find comfort from you when people have always before been so scary, to learn to be a dog and love life! You will be a fabulous owner and you won’t regret it xx

Original poster
blobby10 · 02/12/2023 20:49

@Giventoomuchchoice - I just feel so sorry for their little legs going nineteen to the dozen so feel I can't walk at my normal pace/stride which causes me my own problems! When I walked my sisters Jack Russell my 6ft 6 son took him for a walk - that was hilarious to watch 😂😂

OP posts:
MrsOosh77 · 02/12/2023 21:00

Absolute mutt as per photo 😂

Am I being selfish to want to adopt a dog?
Wolfiefan · 02/12/2023 21:47

What a gorgeous face!
Black retriever x are based in south England.
Don’t know where you are in the country OP. There are so many small rescues all round the country.
Hope you find your perfect pooch soon!

MrsOosh77 · 02/12/2023 22:18

Wolfiefan · 02/12/2023 21:47

What a gorgeous face!
Black retriever x are based in south England.
Don’t know where you are in the country OP. There are so many small rescues all round the country.
Hope you find your perfect pooch soon!

He has a long neck and long legs like a llama- we often refer to him as the goat on a rope but he is just the best boy, very talkative too 😊

honeyfox · 02/12/2023 22:23

I think any dog would have an amazing life with you, indeed two of them if you can manage it!

Will be following to see how you get on 😀

Diplidocus4 · 02/12/2023 22:37

Second Chance Rescue with kennels based in Chepstow
My dog was a rescue , go for it !

TitsInAbsentia · 02/12/2023 22:50

Have a look at pro dogs direct. I really hope you find a doggie, you sound like a perfect home for a doggie!

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 03/12/2023 06:33

When we adopted our girl I Also approached breed clubs rescue contact and asked to be put on a waiting list. Also try the smaller rescues as I found them not so full of red tape.

Original poster
blobby10 · 03/12/2023 07:56

MN can be a viscious place sometimes but this thread has proved to me how many wonderful people there are on it who would give advice and make such lovely comments to a perfect stranger 🥰🥰🥰
iM in the East Midlands area so will definitely be following up on the suggestions you have all made - and will update this thread with any progress 🤞🤞🤞😍😍😍

OP posts:
bluepencilstoo · 03/12/2023 12:32

@blobby10 I'm also in the E Midlands and found Yappy ever after very good and Team Edward - who rescue labradors and are based in notts
I registered with quite a few and also joined their Facebook pages as this is where the latest updates and action seemed to be
Good luck