DD won't let us rehome her dog

[Anon2711]

DD is 26 and has lived on her own for a few years, she rescued a cat and it was just them 2 until the last year where she got a puppy. I did tell her not to because she works full time but she wasn't happy until she finally had one. She has done amazing with her in all fairness and does always ensure she has 2 visits when she is at work from someone (I'd go but I am about a 50 min drive from her). The issue is, she is awful to the cat, really bad and the cat is now showing signs of stress and despite working with a 1-1 trainer, things aren't improving. DD has been contemplating if rehoming is the kindest thing.

I've said I'll have her (she is a lovely dog and really well trained) and I don't have cats! DD has said the only good thing about that is she gets to still be in her life but that she actually doesn't think my environment is suitable and claimed I also worked full time and live in a flat (like she does by the way) and I've said yes but obviously that's what she currently knows and is used to but DD has said if she does rehome her she only wants her to go to a considerably better like so that it was "worth it" and wants someone who is home a lot, has a garden and potentially another dog as well as she does seem to thrive off other dogs more than humans. She wants to work with a rescue to find the right home, if it does come to that.

I've explained that rescues are so full of dogs that needs home but she's adamant she's a well wanted breed and is well trained with only the cat issue and there will be people lined up for her! But I am!! I'd love her and it would keep her in the family and I really don't see the issue if she would have kept her in that same environment if she wasn't terrorising the cat so she obviously didn't have any issues with that aspect but now apparently those are the criteria for a new home even though she doesn't have them herself.

I am a bit hurt to be honest and can't necessarily see the point.

Sorry OP but I agree with your DD. This dog will be easy for a rescue to rehome:

• well trained
• nice temperament
• sought after breed

Ideally it would have come from a decent breeder who would insist it is only rehomed back with them. But, assuming that has not happened here, a breed specific rescue is the next best option.

@GetYourBaublesOut yes maybe so but I'm also a home for her that's in the family and easier to arrange! I'd really like her as well, it will be sad to see her go

I just don't understand the fact she was happy for her to live in a flat and for her to be home when she worked out the house when she had her and the only reason she is rehoming is because of the cat but then when I can offer a home without the cat and she would still see her, it's a no... I get she wants her to have the best of the best but it does seem a bit confusing she would rather never see her again... but she says it's because she knows she would be happier having more contact in the day/a garden, etc. than staying in DD's life as she is still young. I don't get it, I think I seem more heartbroken at the idea of never seeing her again than her

She is KC registered but she said she was never a fan of the breeders and there was also no rules on returning so I think that isn't an option

I think you're over involved tbh. It's your dd's pets, let her sort it out. If you want a dog, get a dog.

Of course it'd be better for the dog to go to you - it knows you and your DD would still get to see it. It's also massively more responsible than off-loading to a rescue - despite what DD says, they're all overstretched at the moment.

Perhaps try and have a coffee or go for a walk with DD to find out what's really going on? Maybe it's that she'll feel reminded of her mistake if the dog lives with you??

Ultimately it's not up to you. If your DD would prefer to re-home via a rescue then that's entirely up to her.

Maybe she can't cope with the idea of still seeing the dog

Yeah, I suspect this comes into it as well. She'll find it too hard to see the dog living with you so it's easier to just have a clean break.

I am sorry, but I think it's not up to you what happens to the dog. You have offered to take it, your DD has the right to decline.

Your DD knows the dog and knows (now) what a dog needs. She's obviously thought about re homing and it's actually very good judgement from her to only re home to a better place them she can offer.

By the sound of it your daughter is a little hypocritical, ie it was OK for her to have the dog in a flat and working but not yourself. Personally I don't agree with using a rescue/charity to rehome the dog. Lots of these rescues have so many dogs already waiting, looking for homes, seems wrong to me for your daughter to put her dog with one when you have already offered. The most important thing is whether you can meet all the dog's requirements ie exercise, a loving responsible home etc then what does it really matter if you don't have a home with a garden, another dog, etc. I'm surprised the fact that she could still then see the dog doesn't win her around!

If you really want a dog you can get one of your own. It’s far from ideal for a dog to be home all day alone and the rescue would not rehome in those circumstances.