Grieving

[Bonnieco]

I’m absolutely devastated I had to have my 2 frenchies put to sleep 2 days ago. They were only 8 but had suffered with severe skin allergies for about 5 years. Nothing seemed to work and I had spent a lot of money trying various foods and medication for them. After seeing a new vet 2 weeks ago he prescribed a new injection which is meant to last a month and a high dose of tablets which they’ve had before. It’s lasted about 5 days before they started to itch again. I’ve had to keep them in our kitchen alot of the time because they would itch on our carpets until they would make themselves bleed. One had also become quite irritated and would snap at the other one or growl at my 2 year old (I think due to being stressed) when I took them back to the vets he said we would keep trying various different things but ultimately nothing seems to be working long term and that putting them to sleep would be one of the best options as we are also expecting our second baby in April. I think because I was already so upset and I know they get so worked up going to the vets that I decided to do it there and then as I think if I brought them home I wouldn’t have been able to bring them back to put them to sleep and I would’ve probably kept trying different tablets. Because I had 2 of them it was costing me an absolutely fortune every month and I guess I didn’t see a way out other then putting them to sleep. I am now overwhelmed with guilt and I just miss them so much. I’m absolutely heartbroken. I feel like I didn’t do enough and I’ve lost 2 of them at the same time. Also feel so guilty that they went in happy to the vets unlike other dogs we’ve had were they’re had a terminal illness or they were old etc. They still loved a walk, would eat and everything so I guess I didn’t see them as unwell. I feel like the worst person ever and I don’t feel like I can get over it (I know it’s very raw still)

Oh, I’m so really really sorry. That’s such a rotten thing & a painful decision for you to make. But the vet seemed to think that there was no end in sight to the misery for them & it would have only gotten worse over time. So you did the right thing by them though I know that’s hard to believe just now. It will hurt, there’s no easy way through the grief, words don’t help I know . But the vet wouldn’t have been willing to give up just yet if he’d seen a way through for them so it wasn’t JUST your decision really as to what was kindest for them.

You loved and cared for them and they knew that.

What is sad is that these dogs are bred without a thought or a care for hereditary problems. I have met many French Bulldogs that suffer with debilitating skin conditions and they are a breed with one of the highest genetic and environmental predispositions to developing canine atopic dermatitis (CAD).

You did the kindest thing for them so they would no longer suffer.

I know it’s extremely sad that these dogs are so heavily bread with such high problems. I unfortunately for mine before they became ‘popular’ and I didn’t do my research as I didn’t know. As much as I love the bread I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone. Luckily mine never suffered with their breathing too.

I just feel like I should’ve done more for them (I’m not sure what) but I’ve never had to put a dog down let alone 2 when they didn’t have a terminal illness or old etc. I’m just full of guilt.

It must have been a heart breaking decision but the vet would not have suggested it, if it wasn't necessary in their professional opinion. Not allowing our pets to suffer is the kindest thing we can all do.

I’m so sorry, I can understand why you would be devastated. Having to put a pet to sleep is always horrendous no matter the situation. It sounds like you did your absolute best for your dogs and prevented their ongoing suffering. Just remember how loved they felt when they were with you. So many dogs don’t get to experience that. At least you gave them the best life you possibly could.

I can see why you'd feel bad. Why didn't you put them up for rescue, so someone who was prepared to look after them rather than put them down because they hadn't considered the full responsibility of dog ownership.?
Very irresponsible & cruel.

you may think it a brutal response but yeah you should feel bad.

Don't feel bad. If Cytopoint and Apoquel together aren't working that's a severe reaction. They will have been miserable, and to put their quality of life first is a brave and the right thing to do.

Frenchies have become so prone to skin allergies.

@catsoop Have you tried to treat a dog with CAD? I lived with one as a teen. My mother put her heart & soul into managing his condition . It is very difficult. As a human with infantile eczema at 62, it’s hell at times.

WTAF do you think someone rehoming these dogs could do differently?

Your ‘harsh’ comments are actually just ignorant.

Op, sorry you had to go through this. Your vet would not have recommended euthanasia if he/she had felt rehoming or alternative treatment was going to help . Its horrible making these decisions .💐

Rescues are overwhelmed - and wouldn't be able to take on your dogs.

Imagine suffering the same debilitating skin condition yourself and not being able to make it better.

You did the kindest thing - they went to sleep feeling loved and in peace.

Booking yourself in to be euthanized then are you?

You horrible person.
If I put them for someone to rehome who had no emotional attachment to them, do you think they would have paid as much as I have try and help them? I also couldn’t face the thought of my dogs thinking I had got rid of them when they have been my life for 8 years!!! I loved these dogs and I have been crying about my decision ever since. Nothing I was prescribed or I did made any difference for longer then 5 days at a time, Then it was constantly trying to find something else that ‘might’ work. They unfortunately were no longer my happy little dogs and in my eyes it felt cruel to keep them in pain, stressed and irritated having to be shut where there was hard floor so they couldn’t scratch themselves raw. What sort of a life is that?

But thank you for your response - I hope you don’t ever have dogs.

Ignorant people don't understand that surrendering a dog to rehiring centre is incredibly stressful for the dog and whilst their physical needs are met they have to rely on volunteers to take them out and give them affection.

It's very distressing g die a dog who has come from a loving home to find themselves surrounded by other anxious dogs and that line can exasperate any existing ailments such as skin problems.

No matter how sweet the dog looks and behaves, people will be reluctant to adopt a dog with a medical problem which could turn out to be costly for them.

You did the right thing for your dogs by not sending them to what they would believe is a punishment when they have done nothing wrong and they would have been overlooked for months and even years or never adopted at all.

I am so sorry, OP.
One of my cats has this and has been basically tearing herself up. She's been on steroid injections, tablets, Elizabethan collar, allergy food, you name it. Now I have a gel for her and am keeping the house cooler with no real expectation.
We aren't there yet, but after researching the condition and realising how intractable it is, euthanasia is something I am wondering about.
You will feel better eventually. Give yourself some time.

We've just had to put our dog down. The vet told us it was the right and best thing for the dog. He said a lot of people carry on trying to treat their dogs, snd in his opinion he feels he's treating the owners and not the animals. Virtual un mumsnety hugs

@Squeaky2023 that’s what I though they would never find a home because of the expense every month/week to take them back to the vet and more medication. I didn’t want them to die in a rescue centre thinking I had left them there and I don’t think anywhere would’ve taken them as they’re so overwhelmed at the moment.

@wildwestpioneer I felt exactly that I was doing this in the end. Some of the tablets that they had over the years made them so tired and not themselves that the ended up just living for me and not actually having a life: I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had to have your dog put down. It’s heartbreaking and honestly the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Sorry to hear but as others have said, the extent of the breeding is wrong. A friend has one she adores but didn't realise before hand the susceptibility of the back legs going. Just think it is cruel breeding dogs like this

@Sunflowergirl1 I know. When I got them I don’t think they were that popular And I only knew about their breathing problems which they thankfully didn’t have but I didn’t know about their skin problems. I wouldn’t recommend this breed to anyone as much as they are cute, loving and very funny little dogs I just wouldn’t want someone to suffer the same way.

@catsoop You are a wee charmer are you not? Are you always so kind and supportive ?

@catsoop the current reality is that if they had been put in a rescue they would have probably have been put down as unhomeable.
@Bonnieco you clearly have spent a lot of time trying to resolve their health problems, but despite this time and considerable financial investment and from your description had explored all treatment options. You made the incredibly brave and kind decision to end their suffering. This is the difference between veterinary medicine and human medicine. Doctors swear to up hold life, Vets swear to protect the welfare of true animals in their care - this means that if their disease is severely compromising their welfare and quality of life that we support owners in making the euthanasia decision.
This is the day we get to be our pets best friend and make the best decision for them.
@Bonnieco you are a brave and caring owner, your heart is breaking for the loss of your dear friends, but please remember that this was the end of years of trying to ensure they had the best care.

I'm so sorry OP I have two frenchies and I can't imagine .

Last weekend, I made the agonising decision to send my best boy off to sleep. Oh, the pain I feel....too many of you will understand. I'm so sorry OP but we must remember this, we saved them from far more than they endured. Sending you love and strength. ( Hoping I'll stop crying eventually).

@MaMisled im so sorry to hear that.