How to support the dog that's left behind

tiredandolderthanithought · 2023-11-19T10:04:30+00:00

So we now only have one dog. This morning he went back to pulling tissues out of the bin and ripping them up. He hasn't done this in at least 18 months. I'm guessing it's because his alpha is no longer with us and we can't explain why! Any tips on how best to support him? (Oh and we are definitely NOT getting another dog). Once our current dog goes that's it. No more (he is only 4 so we're likely to have a while!)

margotrose · 19/11/2023 10:08

Has he ever been on his own before now? Are you now having to leave him alone whereas previously he always had company?

Many dogs who are used to living with others experience separation anxiety when they suddenly find themselves all alone.

Original poster

tiredandolderthanithought · 19/11/2023 10:12

No he's never really been alone as always had the older dog. This tissue ripping incident was when I was drinking my cup of tea in bed! So he wasn't even in the house alone.

He'll be alone tomorrow morning for a couple of hours whilst I'm at work. I think I'll get the lick mat out to give him something to focus on.

He used to go to doggy day care but when the older dog stopped going they refused to have him as he was too needy 🙄. That's not an option for us any more. We have a dog walker who comes in on days we need to leave him longer. I just feel sad for him.

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margotrose · 19/11/2023 10:23

If it's the other dog he's missing then your presence in the house likely won't make any difference - no offence, lol.

Unfortunately this is one of the risks with multi-dog households - as the dogs are never genuinely alone, they just don't know how to cope when they inevitably end up by themselves. It's why lots of families end up in a never-ending cycle of getting more dogs!

You may find you need to go back to basics with separation training and get him comfortable on his own again.

Original poster

tiredandolderthanithought · 19/11/2023 10:27

@margotrose lol yes I know he's missing the other dog. Can totally see why it becomes this never ending cycle!

We'll go back to basics and see if that helps. Short times and take it from there. Can't do anything about tomorrow morning though as we're all working so will see how it goes.

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margotrose · 19/11/2023 10:29

You may find he's okay - you could try leaving something that smells of you (a t-shirt or similar) and some background noise - a bit like you would for a puppy, and try and "dog proof" as much as you can so that he can't destroy too much.

He'll be okay - dogs grieve just as much as we do, bless them.

hattie43 · 19/11/2023 10:33

I had to buy another dog , my dog left behind had a complete meltdown ending up on oxygen at the vet hospital . They couldn't get him breathing properly but also couldn't find a single physical thing wrong . I decided he couldn't cope alone and bought him a friend and he is transformed .
I know you say you aren't having another and I didn't want another but it's not just about me and he needed another .

Original poster

tiredandolderthanithought · 19/11/2023 10:45

hattie43 · 19/11/2023 10:33

I had to buy another dog , my dog left behind had a complete meltdown ending up on oxygen at the vet hospital . They couldn't get him breathing properly but also couldn't find a single physical thing wrong . I decided he couldn't cope alone and bought him a friend and he is transformed .
I know you say you aren't having another and I didn't want another but it's not just about me and he needed another .

It wouldn't be fair to have another. We don't have the time. A rescue wouldn't give us one as we both work full time and a dog walker coming in wouldn't be enough for them. Couldn't have a puppy due to working either. We will work hard with the left behind dog and help but getting another dog is not an option.

We've managed to change some working patterns this week to give us some time to try and help him through it but cannot do that long term.

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Original poster

tiredandolderthanithought · 19/11/2023 10:48

margotrose · 19/11/2023 10:29

You may find he's okay - you could try leaving something that smells of you (a t-shirt or similar) and some background noise - a bit like you would for a puppy, and try and "dog proof" as much as you can so that he can't destroy too much.

He'll be okay - dogs grieve just as much as we do, bless them.

I think we'll leave the other dogs blanket in his basket. We were going to wash it but we won't do that for a while!

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margotrose · 19/11/2023 10:51

tiredandolderthanithought · 19/11/2023 10:48

I think we'll leave the other dogs blanket in his basket. We were going to wash it but we won't do that for a while!

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That's a good idea! I hope he ends up settling okay - he may surprise you :)

HerMammy · 19/11/2023 12:15

A ripped tissue isn't the end of the world, even the best dogs can be naughty every now and then.
Give him time and lots of love, dogs grieve, they feel the loss especially if he's never been alone.

Original poster

tiredandolderthanithought · 19/11/2023 13:49

HerMammy · 19/11/2023 12:15

A ripped tissue isn't the end of the world, even the best dogs can be naughty every now and then.
Give him time and lots of love, dogs grieve, they feel the loss especially if he's never been alone.

Oh I know that the ripped tissue isn't an issue it's more why he was ripping the tissue iykwim.

Definitely lots of love and cuddles

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HerMammy · 19/11/2023 17:57

He'll be stressed and a bit lost, especially if the older dog was the steady paw as such.
When my steady girl died my two younger boys were like orphans, from subdued to naughty, she kept them in line. Took a good 3/ 4 months for them to get on an even keel.
I miss her every day even two years on and now and then I see the youngest looking a wee bit lost 😥