My old dog . Please help.

[Orlaandi]

We have an old bichon , about to be 15.

she has cataracts
she has some arthritis helped with daily meds
she has cognitive decline

she recentyl had eye ulcer now recovered, hut since then she wont let us trim/ groom her/ wont let us clean her eye area and so now she has a build up of black eye discharge. She bites if we try.

the only way to half clean around the eye is to shower her to loosen it on the fur or get the vet to do it . Which she finds super stressful and has to be sedated. It looks uncomfy as its all dried round eye

last few months.. cognitive decline .. stares into space quite a lot, but can be immediately distracted.
wees often in night in house, sometimes poos. We are worried she will fall down stairs in night. Slwwps in our room with door open so she can go and wee in hall downstairs with oad . Unsure if its fair to now change her rountine as in out stairgate upstairs to keep her from trying to get down . Once she has been stuck kn stairs in night..

enjoys her walks , sniffs. Seems to do from memory. Eg she walks us to pub ! We let hee walk were she wants via her nose as ehe sight is restricted and we just want her ro enjoy herself as much as she can .

cant seem to get off bottom step of stairs in last week .. cant seem to work it out were it changes to flat

reduced appetite for normal food , eats ham , beef , chicken .

she sleeps very deeply in the day . Seems to hardly breathe.

latst night she crashes into the plant pots in garden for her last wee.. she knows that route normally. Then she crashed into a wall in house and was stood facing a door disoriented. Never been like this before. Was nearly this bad once , then rallied. We had vet out at this time and she said think about her quality of life its better soon than

late. Give it the weekend , lets her see the kids who were visiting .. she rallied!

she seems to be drinking more

i dont know wether to ring the vet . What could she say. ?

i am just hoping she will ralky , i know canine dementia can fluctuate but at same time i dont want to go from happy confused to fearful confused.

how can i negotiate this path with my dear dogs best intrest at heart?
id say on her walks she has quality if life .. her tail is up and she is sniffing away

also our dd starts her dream job in london on Monday . If something happens i am scared to tell her.. i dont want her in tears on the first day of a job she has worked months to get? Wd it be ok not to tell her and therefore our ds for a cple of weeks to protect dd ? Am worried she wd not forgive me ?

Thank u . Am sat with her x

Honestly I’d let her go. She sounds very disoriented. Why wait until she doesn’t/can’t rally and it’s very distressing for everyone?

She sounds like a lovely dog but as per previous poster, it seams like she is suffering a bit and I think it's sadly time to let her go ❤

I would contact the vet for advice and take it from there. I am so very sorry. I have a 12 year old golden retriever who is still very fit but slowing down a lot and goes into that deep sleep during the day. I'm dreading the thought of her getting older and slower every year.

I’m a vet and I like the Ohio state QOL questionnaire - maybe use it as the basis for a family discussion about her https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/default/files/import/assets/pdf/hospital/companionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf
It’s important to remember that our pets live completely in the moment - they have no fear of the future, no sense of their own mortality. If they have a deteriorating condition and there are no medical solutions on offer and no better days ahead then there is only how they feel now.
I would suggest you involve all adults in the family in the decision even if it’s upsetting - your daughter would likely feel worse for being excluded/deprived of the opportunity to say goodbye.

It really sounds to me that it's time to say goodbye. Heartbreaking, but better to do it before any more deterioration.
All the best.

I would let her go, my dear. I know it's so very hard. Wishing you the best.

The best advice I’ve ever been given in regards to pets is it’s better to put them to sleep a week early than a day too late.

I think it’s time to say goodbye to her now.

Ive just rang the vet .
she is not available.
i think i am clinging on to the fact that she still enjoys her walks . In my mind that is quality of life . But it is for a short period of the day.
the vet assistant said to keep her downstairs and block the stairs… so she cant fall .
feel unfair to introduce new rountine that isolates her from us at night but if we keep her upstairs with us and block stair to go down , it means she will be wee on pads in our bedroom and on landing.

i am terrified that i am thinking of end of life becasue WE cant manage this .. i wnat to know its for her not us ..

I will waut for vet to ring
last time she rallied and had 3 months of happy life .
i am listening to your advice and your kind words . Thank u so much x

Sadly if you did a box ticking then walks would be the 1 tick... Poor ddog sounds like she had had enough op. It honestly is the worst bit of ddog ownership... But you owe her a good send off op. Not one where she is already uncomfortable and suffering. Imo she is already there..

We had to make that heart wrenching decision last summer, for our lovely dog. He was eating and walking right up to the day before but he was riddled with cancer and we knew the time had come. It was the worst but best decision we could have made, he just could not have carried on any longer.
I feel your heartache, it’s a horrible time.
All the best to you all.

Patchworksack ive. Just done the quiz
. her scores are all across the board.
Poor 1point

not eat unless treats
inactive
sleep more
poor ish 2 points
not play
doesnt engage
dull
diagnosis .. ( cog decline) worse

medium 3 point

beh change
pants sometimes
weight stable

toward good 4 points
diesnt move

good 5 points
moves around
doesnt hide
interacts with me
( licks hand , wants sleep near me , jumps around whwn i come home)

so as you can see ( and I understand one bad or good can be v important n we have to weigh it up)

she is very much a mix of good quality and poor quality of life when its broken down .
this is why i dont know if i am panicking or its time.
basically i know shE will decline . I dont want her to suffer, but as she has rallied before i am unsure. Also , i feel cruel to put to sleep a dog that just sleeps most of time and still likes her small walks ?

Patchworksack she has
4 points in the one section poor
4 in the 2 secrion section less poor
5 in the less poor
1 in 4 quite good
4 in good
her good is moves around, does not hide , does not vomit
intracts

i know no ine can decide for me . This ia my way of thinkng it through x

The advice I always remember is that it's better to say goodbye a week too early than a day too late. We owe it to our beloved pets not to let them suffer. From what you're saying, it sounds like it's time. I'm sorry, it's just so hard.

For me, it helps to think about whether or not she has moments of good or moments of bad.

What I mean by that is that if her life is mostly good with the odd moment of bad, she's doing OK. If her life is not good, with the odd moments of good, then it may well be time to say goodbye.

I'd want more than 50% of my dog's time to be average-good. If the balance tips and there are more bad times than good, it's time.

I honestly think the guilt is inevitable - and it is often the bit that stops us thinking clearly. Just because your own life will, obviously, be easier after she goes (but sadder) does not mean you would be making the deocsion for your benefit and not hers. You clearly love her. You have clearly given her a good life and you are clearly taking care of her now. There is no need for guilt

Thank you .
shes been sick just now and so i am hope its a temp illness rathee than sudden decline .
if it continues i know what i must do .
if she recovers , i agree 100% it’s quality of life
her normal life is sleep most of the day, follow me round when awake . Bark at me for treats . Eat treats. Have 3 little walks. Enjoy s. Sleeps again
nighttime . Gets up most nights . Wees in hall. Gets. Stuck on stairs .

ShufflingHedgehogs thats it exactly , the guilt is clouding ny vision

am going to see how sheis next few says in case its temp illness as she has now been sick

This is the best shes ever going to get. A dog who is still eating and still walking is the bare minimum - that's really basic needs, not quality of life. You shouldn't wait until she's in so much pain she can't /won't do those things. She's crashing into things, she's got pain in her eye and won't let you clean it or she bites - that must be really hurting her. She's messing in the house, and she can't do stairs. Please don't make her sleep downstairs on her own, that's so unfair on a dog with cognitive decline.

If that was my dog id be planning to pts within the next week.

Bless her, and you. It's an incredibly hard decision, I've been through it twice and probably will have to again within the next year.

We've made some modifications to our home to help our 13 year old. Things like, mats throughout the kitchen and hallway to reduce slipping. We leave a nightlight on so she can see where she's going in the night. We lift her in and out of the car etc. I massage her back and legs. Mine is otherwise happy, alert, good appetite, still runs for her ball in the garden etc.

It might be an idea for your vet to run some bloods just to see if there's anything that stands out.

I would continue to have her upstairs to sleep but with the door closed so she can't fall down the stairs.

The lack of eating is a concern though.

Again, sorry you're going through this

Oh op, I feel for you.

Having been there with two dogs, we definitely left it too late with ddog1, ddog 2 we made the call sooner and it was the right thing to do.

DDog 3 is 13, blind, diabetic, heart murmur, deaf and some signs of dementia. We are going to have to make the call soon in the not too distant future.

How many times do you hear pet owners say 'I wish I'd helped them go sooner'? Compared to 'I regret letting them go so soon'?

I would be thinking about what exactly you are giving her if you give her more time. It sounds like it would be some quality time, but a lot more painful and confused time. Realistically, if she's not going to get significantly better, she's going to stay in her current state or get worse. Is that something you want for her?

I'm sure you love her to bits. Use that to make an appointment and spoil her rotten till the time comes round.

Is the stair / hallway light enough overnight if her eyesight is poor ? We have a 13 yr old terrier who has had a massive decline in health this year although he’s no where near the end ( walks / runs / eats / plays / continent) . He sleeps upstairs but we’ve had to start leaving the lights on on the stairs and in the hall as he has trouble seeing where the bottom step is .

I’m so awfully sorry you and your pup are where you are now. My pooch was similar earlier this year, he had cataracts, an advanced heart murmur and doggy dementia. Unfortunately he’d forgotten that he doesn’t bite, and upon vet recommendation we had him put to sleep. Aside from the biting and going to the toilet in the house, you’d never have known there was anything wrong. With hindsight the fact he started walking to heel should’ve been a massive giveaway, but we didn’t know.

I've grappled with my decision since he died, but I do for the most part believe I was correct. His world must’ve been extremely scary for him, and it’s like the essence of my boy had disappeared slowly over time. There’s no way on Earth he ever would’ve hurt the kids if he’d had all his marbles, he used to guard them constantly.

It’s absolutely horrific to have to do, but it is kinder to let them go than to keep them alive imho. Easy for me to say when it’s not my dog though.

It must be the hardest decision and I really feel for you OP but please listen to others who are saying it's time and better to do it now whilst he has some quality of life then when he is really suffering.