Puppy Blues

[najs89]

I don't know where to begin. My puppy is 14 weeks old and I've felt regret almost everyday since getting her. I feel like a terrible human being for feeling this way. The kids and DH adore her which is the motivation I have to keep going. I love her too but I just feel drained. I'm worried she isn't happy and settling in. Even going for a shower she's crying and scratching at the door the entire time. I can't get anything done and even nextdoor have commented on the barking which worries me a lot. The only thing I seem to have gotten right is she's sleeping in the crate through the night. Apart from that I feel absolutely useless, exhausted and as though I'm never going to be able to leave the house ever again. I badly want it to work out but I don't know how much more that I can take. Advice and success stories would be greatly appreciated. TIA ❤️

I promise it gets better. I was ready to throw the towel in every day for the first few months, it's relentless.
Having a dog is a big commitment but I can't imagine my Life without her, definitely a big part of our family.
Stick with it, you can do this!!

It gets better. She’s the equivalent of human baby and it’s acceptable for them to cry and scream and be difficult.

I found a consistent routine with lots of mental stimulation (toys, puzzles, training) but equally lots of rest, works best.

Sleeping though the night is huge achievement- some puppies take months and months to get to that point.

Is there an issue with her being in the bathroom? Unless it’s unsafe I found that allowing the dog to follow me around, but not paying her much attention helped. Eventually she stopped moving everytime I moved and learnt to settle.

What breed is she?

Licking and sniffing are calming and self soothing behaviours so I found that kongs, lickimats, snufflemats were helpful. Even just throwing her biscuit in grass or around the room so she has to sniff and forage helps wear them out.

Let her follow if you can 🙂 They’ll soon learn that you’re boring then they give up following…unless you have a terrier who hunts out toilet roll tubes to shred while you’re in there 😂 Forced separation at that age can lead to problems later on.

It gets better.

It gets better!! I felt exactly the same as you when we got our girl, I even called a re-homing service as I was done. Now she is. 7 months it’s so much easier I love her to bits and I can’t imagine life without her now. Keep going !

The first few months can be very tough. Our most recent puppy was destructive even if left with the other dog (who adored her and who she adored), a nightmare to housetrain etc etc. I'd never had a puppy like her and wondered what the hell I'd done in persuading DH to get her.

She has actually grown into quite a nice dog. Very, very affectionate. Doesn't give me the evil judgemental looks the older one is keen on dishing out.

come and join the puppy survival thread, we have all felt similar. It’s hard and very claustrophobic for the first few months.

I let mine follow me around. He cries when I’m in the shower, but I think he thinks the shower is evil (I had to hose him down after he rolled in wet mud in the garden!)

Yep, I hear you. My pup is the same age and its relentless, today I would have happily rehomed, the lack of freedom really gets me down BUT it will get better.

this will click soon. all your hard work and worry will result in a lovely dog.

FWIW, I let my puppy follow me about to learn how dull I am. The shower is their least favourite place to follow me. I find shutting the door on them makes it all very interesting. Demystify! And lean in to feel stressed. It shows you care. You’re a good dog owner.

My dog is now 9 months. I literally had no idea how hard it would be. I seriously doubt I’ll ever get a puppy again. I’ve cried a lot.

Do I regret it, no in the long term I know having a dog will be fab for our family.

When those puppy teeth fall out or does get better though I promise.

Mine had to come with me in the bathroom when I showered. The puppy days are hard but hang on in there. They don’t last forever

Puppy blues are totally normal - I promise you we've all been there.

I would say though, that the most important thing you can do is set your puppy up for success. So, if you know she gets distressed alone while you shower, then the best thing to do is temporarily adjust your routine for a few weeks so you only shower when someone is around to look after her.

I remember having to get up at stupid o'clock in the morning to shower before DH left for work, and at one point he even came home in his lunch break so I could shower without worrying about the puppy 😂

It didn't last forever though and by about 16-18 weeks he was okay to be left for 10 minutes while I showered or nipped upstairs. This too shall pass!