Poodle hyper vigilant when husband not home

[Razorcroft]

This is making life very stressful when he is occasionally away with work or on the days he goes into the office.

I have a wonderful 4 year old standard poodle. He’s a majestic, wonderful thing. He was neutered at about 2 years old. No changes in behaviour really past standard ‘growing up’

he is exercised plenty. Well trained. Loves a fuss. I’d have ten of them but my house is too small.

he is usually so quiet, you don’t hear him make a peep- but when my husband is not here he will patrol the hallway, snarl and growl at the door when there is nothing there and generally just won’t settle fully at all. Constantly ‘on’ if that makes sense.

thankfully my husband is at home 90% of the time- but he keeps waking the DC with his barking and running around. This is tricky when you are trying to wrangle toddlers solo. DC has also started to become fearful of him when he freaks out which isn’t good. He goes full on guard dog.

he has mental activity toys to keep him occupied and is usually so placid and happy. He has been so good and patient with DC since she was born too so I don’t think it is her.

it only happens at home. He is fine and happy being out with me on our walks or
visiting family.

can anyone shed any light on this? Is he being protective or anxious because my husband is his master and not here? How can I make him feel better?

Oh and by patient I definitely don’t mean ‘lets her pull his ears’ - I don’t allow that.

i always keep them separated with baby gates or me body blocking. We do stroking supervised and he loves her. I meant just easy going, moves away if she is crying.

I have the same with our bichon. During lockdown my husband worked from home for several months and he got dreadful separation anxiety ever since.

Dh now has to stay out overnight 2 nights per week in term time and I get no sleep when he is not there. Oddly enough he is fine if someone dog sits for us at their home. It's like he associates our house with the fact that dh should be there.

A "dog whisperer" told us that like in a dog pack, there's a hierarchy.
You ddog probably sees dh as the top dog and when he's out your ddog goes into protection mode, protecting his pack, that's you and DC.
It was interesting stuff, after watching us all with our ddog he told us what our hierarchy was, guess who was at the bottom of the pack, me!
Plenty of treats for your ddoggo for being so good, no advice on how to tackle the behavior though

What happens if you don't let him access the hallway?

He’ll continue to act vigilant and ‘hear’ noises and things to react to, even if in the bedroom with me or at the back of the house.

will try and get to the hallway but I have tall baby gates

Will he settle with something to chew/ stuffed Kong/lickimat?

Can you put white noise on to muffle any outside noise? Let him snuggle with an old t shirt of your DHs when he's away? I think it's a tricky cycle to break now as he's taken on the job of protecting you and your child when DH is away, but I'd continue to block access to the hallway - close doors if possible, white noise and distraction with long lasting treats.

I would try playing white noise and using a tether or something to prevent him from wandering and patrolling the house.

My beagle can be a bit like this when DH is out and I've found background noise (even just a fan) and physically preventing the behaviour works best.

Dominance was debunked years ago.

Can I suggest your OH goes out more? Start small with popping in and out then building up. I’d distract the dog in the mean time when he has to go out. He’s likely stressed as if your OH is with him a lot it’s different for him. Poodles are sensitive and intelligent. He needs to learn very slowly that he goes and he also comes back.

My OH WFH so our pup was with him 24/7. She really struggled if he went out. So he went out more. Just short to begin with, building up. Now she’s fine with either of us going out. We did keep her under threshold though as they can only learn this way. So the one who wasn’t leaving gave pup a really fun game.

My dog does this when one of us is out. I make him come and lie down but he is still hyper vigilant, every little noise gets his full attention. When both of us are home he isn't like that.

My husband is away a lot and the dogs are noticeably more on edge (well apart from when he arrives back when they’re snoring on his side of the bed), I just think it’s one of those things. Explain to your child the dog is a bit more vigilant because your husband is out and he’s looking after you both.

First. YABU not to have paid the tax (photo of said poodle will pay this tax)
Second. I have standards (2 of the big idiots, mother and son, and had a mother and son team before these monsters) It is very unusual for a standard to growl unless being confronted with aggression. My girl has seperation issues if my husband leaves with the car keys and doesn't take her , and she will pace until he returns. I started giving her Rescue Remedy drops and they seem to really help. My tax.

My doodle is exactly like this, but goes beyond growling and pacing - she barks the house down at any tiny movement or noise. She is incredibly anxious when DH is not here, can’t settle at all, if he’s away over night I don’t go to bed, it’s awful. Our behaviourist told me it’s not about protection and more about things not being ‘normal’. She’s anticipating him coming home at normal time and when he doesn’t she gets more and more wound up. We’ve recently started her on fluoxetine which does seem to be helping her hyper vigilance generally but she still won’t fully settle until he’s home. Also her anxiety tends to manifest in bad behaviour and she can get so hyped up she starts jumping up at counters stealing things, so when he’s out I keep her with me and on a lead. Weirdly she is only anxious in the house, and with visitors too, but out and about she is the best dog ever.

Following as we have a doodle that behaves similarly. Relaxed dog most of the time but if any one of us is out for too long (in her view) hyper vigilant-wasn't a problem when the kids were younger but they are teenagers now with social lives. It's very wearing.

Are any of these dogs really awful with visitors too? It’s our biggest struggle at the moment.

One thing we were told to do was make his arrival home (or any family member) as much of a non event as possible. Prevent running to greet at door, no contact with dog until she’s back down and settled in bed, so that she doesn’t anticipate their arrival home so much