Behavioural euthanasia, rehoming or anything else

[Nulo]

I feel like the worst person in the world even thinking about this, but things are so stressful that we're not sure what route to go down next. We have a 6 year old Labrador x Springer Spaniel who is our absolute world. But he is SO anxious and scared of life and it just comes out as reactivity in most situations

He's scared of strangers, loud noises, cats, cars, anything/anyone appearing suddenly, people talking if he can't see them, people wearing hats/hoods, and now recently other dogs and children. He's always on high alert and just can't seem to switch off from it

He comes to work with me every day as he's too anxious to be left alone and would just howl and cry. At work he barks at every noise he hears. When he's out he now barks and lunges if another dog comes too close to him whilst he's on the lead. We do everything we can to avoid these situations but sometimes it can't be helped. We were walking him the other day and someone shut a car door, the noise made him physically jump and if he wasn't on his lead he would have bolted in fear. He's recently become scared of children and will either hide behind us or start growling if one comes too near him. We have spent a fortune on training and on a behaviourist but are just getting nowhere and he's getting worse

He's never bitten anyone or shown any signs that he would, but he is very vocal with barking and growling as a warning if someone is too close or if he doesn't like a situation. It's obviously just a fear reaction but I do not know how we can fix it/help him

We have considered whether he would be better off with a different family, but he's so attached to us that I'm not sure how he would cope. And I just can't imagine making him live another 5 - 10 years being so scared of life and so stressed all the time. He has nerve pain and is on Gabapentin for this but apart from that he doesn't have any other pain problems. We have started to wonder if the kindest thing would be to let him go, he is so scared and it breaks our hearts to see how much he struggles with life. And the fact that he has to live with nerve pain/problems, but we just don't know what to do for the best and I would be absolutely devastated if we did go for either of those outcomes

Nerve pain? Have you seen a specialist? Pain in dogs is one of the biggest contributory factors to anxiety and aggression.

I have a 'scared' dog but no where near the level you describe so although I don't have the same issues I do kind of understand where you are coming from.

I would find an understanding vet and explain how you are now considering the last options to see if they can offer any anti anxiety medication given you have tried behavioural modifications.

Clinical vet behaviourist will be the best person to help you in this situation.

They will look at the whole situation and look at medication that may help with the anxiety. It can turn some dogs lives around.

They will also be honest with you and explain what is best for the dog and your family

nerve pain is the absolute worst, so I'd imagine it could be heavily linked?

I would not think that nerve pain is compatible with life in a dog. I’m sorry to say that, but I’d assume his pain is not under control and I’d PTS.

Poor dog. Sometimes they can’t be fixed.

My friends had a rescue dog , it was a nightmare, unlike yours he expressed his anxiety by agression as well as fear. People stopped going to their house as they wouldn’t put him away when they had visitors, you spent your entire time expecting to be attacked. They, like you, had been to all the behaviourists etc, to no avail.

Anyway, after a few years, the dog started to have trouble walking. It was discovered that his spine was crumbling, there was nothing they could do. He was put to sleep. I wondered whether his pain was why he was so unhappy, and so reactive.

Im sure you will do what is best for your dog ( and for you ). 💐

If he’s got nerve pain that’s probably why. I have nerve damage so I feel for him!

Personally, I’d see if any other medication helps, the Gabapentin doesn’t seem to be, and if not I would PTS. He’s probably had enough the poor boy

I would visit the vet again and get a second opinion . The pain is undoubtedly making the nervousness worse, also is there anyway he can not have to go to work with you but stay home with someone? Constantly being put in situations where he is nervous will mean he just gets worse and worse and can never switch off.

Totally agree with other posters, back to vets to fully look into pain, and honestly keep trying until you find a behaviourist that works for you guys.

My parents youngest dog was like this, no obvious reason why, they had him from being a baby so no traumatic back story, but he was incredibly anxious and fearful which made him often look aggressive even though he wasn’t , he was fear reactive.

Similar to you they went through lots of trainers and behaviourists, and eventually found one that worked for them. It can be a long process but totally worth it, he is on pain relief now as well as anti anxiety medication and that combined with consistent training has meant he is now a lovely happy dog!

Gabapentin can also be useful for anxiety in some dogs and certain dosage used for sedative effect pre-vet visits, although it didn't seem to have that side effect in my nervous dog and was part of a cocktail of meds for her arthritis. Pain is known to have an effect on behaviour, though imagine it could be difficult to work out what physical issues dog may have if they are afraid of people.

If not already, probably need a veterinary behaviourist that can prescribe medication for severe anxiety as in humans it's really hard to overcome with just CBT/gradual exposure therapy as while body is constantly on high alert it's a much smaller gap to perceived threat alarm setting off the flight/fight/freeze auto-reaction. As can feel physically worse after anxiety attack, its reinforcing desire to avoid the same situation and increases anxiety around that thing so soon end up wanting to avoid more & more things till having noticeable impact on life. People have ability to know there wasn't actually anything to worry about but still get trapped in this cycle.
Dogs have less options to avoid what they are feeling fearful about so will tend to see more reaction to flee, freeze & fight is often more barking/lunging to try scare off what it's worried about first. The handler who maybe feeling apprehensive knowing situations dog will likely be triggered, can easily inadvertently reinforce the anxiety with their own behaviour.

Thank you everyone. Re the nerve pain I do agree it must be awful for him. He takes 600mg gabapentin a day and there has been a huge difference in his joints since he started that, they’ve been so much better but I know it could still be that causing it. That’s why I’ve wondered if we are being cruel to keep him alive, but the vets seem to think he’s happy in himself and that the reactivity is fear rather than pain based but I will see if we can get further insight into this or a second opinion

There’s nobody that could sit with him but I can look at changing my job and seeing if I could get a remote job instead. Taking him to work wasn’t what I wanted to do as I didn’t think it would be a great idea, but our circumstances changed dramatically and it was the only short term solution we had. I started taking him in about 6 months ago so it hasn’t been a massively long time but it’s clearly not getting any better for him

I just love him so much, he is so lovely and fun, he’s got the most amazing character and personality but he’s just so scared of everything and it breaks my heart to see

@Newpeep we have yes, he’s had extensive testing, scans etc as we have a really good specialist not that far from us. It’s his hips and back legs that are affected the most but the gabapentin does seem to have helped with that aspect. His joints are so much freer and less stiff than they used to be but then I just wonder is it really kind to keep him going

@stealtheatingtunnocks no need to apologise, I think I feel the same deep down. It’s just so hard to face up to

In that case then I think your options are limited. You can consult a vet behaviourist but if he’s that badly affected then you have to look at quality of life long term. It may be worth looking at. Fear can be helped but it’s hard when there is pain involved.

Im sorry. It’s a really hard situation.

Well, I’m still sorry, it’s always heartening, and sad, to hear of a dog that has challenges but is loved and whose owners do their best to make life easier for him.

He’s been a very lucky dog to have had all this help.

I hope your choices become clear when you are next at the vet.

I have a reactive dog with a similar but not quite as extreme level of anxiety. She doesn't have nerve pain but does have digestive issues which contribute.

She is manageable now and a lot happier since I have completely taken all pressure off her. She is never walked out in public. I hire secure fields for her and make sure we don't meet other dogs or people. She doesn't go out every day because she mentally can't handle that. So instead she is at home doing sensory work and enrichment within her safe space.
Her world is very small. Sometimes I grieve the life she could have had but she is so much happier.