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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Growled at my kids

37 replies

legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:30

I'm going to try to be completely honest and impartial here. Looking for advice on WWYD if this were your dog.

Gorgeous 7 year old dog we've had seen a pup.

Hes ALWAYS had problems with being possessive. Up until about age 3/4 I genuinely thought he would need to be put down let alone given away. He's lovely 90% of the time but if you do something he doesn't like - like take something he shouldn't have off him - he'll have hackles up, snarling, and on one or two occasions has air snapped.

He's now almost 8yrs old and has chilled out lots - mainly because we've learnt how to manage him. I know what to do and how to handle his triggers. This means we are generally living with a happy dog without incident.

This weekend he went for another dog (he's normally great with other dogs but hates flat faced breeds) I went to pull him away and he spun round and air snapped at me whilst growling.

The same evening I left the kids (4&5) with my mum whilst we went for a rare night out. The kids tried to push him off the sofa (a trigger that I would always immediately stop if I were there). Hackles up, showing teeth and growling at them Sad

He's always been brilliant with the kids. Never shown any aggression with them at all until now.

I love him so much but WWYD?

OP posts:
username100001 · 23/10/2023 09:33

What breed of dog is it? But you will only need to re-read your own post and know what you need to do. When there is a dog attack, you will always see it followed with 'but they've always been good with the kids'.....

Katrinawaves · 23/10/2023 09:34

I like dogs but when I was a child, the family had a reactive terrier who would snap and snarl at me and bit me on a number of occasions. As an adult, I feel strongly that that dog should have been PTS or rehomed as just having it in the house as I was growing up seriously inhibited normal childhood behaviours.

So up to you what you do, but even if your children don’t ever get bitten, is that the childhood experience you want for them?

TheUsualChaos · 23/10/2023 09:37

I would stop allowing him on the sofa for a start. He needs more clear boundaries.

Also, a check up at the vets would be wise to make sure there isn't something underlying to account for him becoming more snappy.

Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:38

He's a cockerpoo. We've literally spent thousands on training and he's SO much better than he was. I really thought he would have to be put down in adolescence.

To meet him you'd have no idea. All tail wags and super friendly, sitting on everyone's lap, licking them. But there's an innate possessiveness that I don't think will ever totally go

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Lastqueenofscotland2 · 23/10/2023 09:38

So the dog reacted to a known trigger? I would be talking to the kids/your mum about this.

However if they are resource guarding the sofa that would be the end of the dog being allowed on it.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 23/10/2023 09:40

Cocker spaniels are insanely prone to resource guarding.
Also if it was a reaction to the physical pushing it may be pain/discomfort.

Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:42

TheUsualChaos · 23/10/2023 09:37

I would stop allowing him on the sofa for a start. He needs more clear boundaries.

Also, a check up at the vets would be wise to make sure there isn't something underlying to account for him becoming more snappy.

Unfortunately I don't think he needs the vets. The behaviours are less common than they used to be, but in response to his usual triggers. They're just less common than they used to be because I know how to manage him. I would never physically push (lightly) him anywhere as he would respond viciously. I would have stood up, and said 'off' and he would have gotten off.

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Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:43

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 23/10/2023 09:38

So the dog reacted to a known trigger? I would be talking to the kids/your mum about this.

However if they are resource guarding the sofa that would be the end of the dog being allowed on it.

I have spoken to the kids but they're 4 and 5 so too young to be responsible.

My mum very rarely visits

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FrodoBagginsToeHair · 23/10/2023 09:43

your kids are old enough to understand not to push the dog around. If your mum can’t supervise the kids with the dog properly then they need to be separated with baby gates when you aren’t around. I think the first port of call should be the vet for a checkup though to make sure he’s not in pain somewhere.

I wouldn’t be worried about redirected aggression toward the other dog - a growl and an air snap is a warning not a bite.

Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:45

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 23/10/2023 09:40

Cocker spaniels are insanely prone to resource guarding.
Also if it was a reaction to the physical pushing it may be pain/discomfort.

It's not pain. It's just not wanting to do something and feeling threatened I suppose.

He can be fast asleep on his bed in the evening and if something disturbs him he will leap up and run, growling, to grab the closest thing on the floor. Anything at all. He just panics and needs to hold something.

OP posts:
Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:47

FrodoBagginsToeHair · 23/10/2023 09:43

your kids are old enough to understand not to push the dog around. If your mum can’t supervise the kids with the dog properly then they need to be separated with baby gates when you aren’t around. I think the first port of call should be the vet for a checkup though to make sure he’s not in pain somewhere.

I wouldn’t be worried about redirected aggression toward the other dog - a growl and an air snap is a warning not a bite.

Yes I'm not bothered about the other dog incident really. I understand why that happened and if he wanted to bite me he could have done.

He has stopped himself hurting me before. He is terrified of the vets and becomes a wolf animal in there. Hackles and trying to properly bite (muzzled). One time his muzzle came off and he grabbed me arm in his teeth but didn't bare down. He was just so scared.

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TheUsualChaos · 23/10/2023 09:47

In that case, if it's definitely a guarding thing with the sofa then you need to remove that element. Great that he listens to "off" but actually, if he guards at a nudge to move then that tells me it needs to stop.

Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:48

TheUsualChaos · 23/10/2023 09:47

In that case, if it's definitely a guarding thing with the sofa then you need to remove that element. Great that he listens to "off" but actually, if he guards at a nudge to move then that tells me it needs to stop.

Yes when I say the kids were pushing him off they weren't. A 'nudge' is a better way to describe it.

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TheUsualChaos · 23/10/2023 09:51

Also agree about the snap at the other dog, it's natural behaviour to tell an over enthusiastic dog to back off. As long as didn't actually go into an aggressive attack it's simply a dogs way of shouting " I said leave me alone!"

Wouldn't be surprised if other dog was under 3 years old. A lot of lock down dogs are hopeless at reading social cues and don't read the early warning body language. I do think there must be a link in there somewhere with increases in dog on dog attacks.

Coldinscotland · 23/10/2023 09:53

Off the sofa full stop. Behind a gate if dc are playing on the floor or with toys. Food separate away from the dc.

thatwassociopathic · 23/10/2023 09:53

Yeah that's a your mum issue not a dog issue. When I go out and leave my 12 year old with anyone else the dog is always muzzled. Other people will never manage the situation like you would. I learned this the hard way when my MIL let the kids wind the dog up so much when he was a pup he bit one of them. Should have been nipped in the bud a good 15 mins beforehand

Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:54

TheUsualChaos · 23/10/2023 09:51

Also agree about the snap at the other dog, it's natural behaviour to tell an over enthusiastic dog to back off. As long as didn't actually go into an aggressive attack it's simply a dogs way of shouting " I said leave me alone!"

Wouldn't be surprised if other dog was under 3 years old. A lot of lock down dogs are hopeless at reading social cues and don't read the early warning body language. I do think there must be a link in there somewhere with increases in dog on dog attacks.

No unfortunately, whilst I agree he would respond this way to over enthusiastic dogs, this was random. He just doesn't like flat faced dogs so went for him. He'd been interacting lovely with all other dogs he passed on the walk. Usually if I see a flat faced dog I would take him away, but this one popped out behind us so he just launched himself at it. Again - doesn't bite them just snaps in a "go away!!" Way but it looks scary

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sandgrown · 23/10/2023 09:57

When my dog became a bit “bossy “ with my son the vet immediately said to keep him off furniture and on the floor so he knows his place . Please don’t let people blame your mum for not supervising. If she rarely visits she has probably seen dog on his best behaviour. My dog dislikes young children so I keep him away but once they get older he doesn’t bother.

sleepyscientist · 23/10/2023 10:27

Could you get a home vet visit? He's the right age for arthritis which could be bringing out the bad behaviour again.

Could you encourage him onto a chair or something that's his space so the kids aren't tempted to push him off.

Does he actually bite? Just we had a dog that would snap and growl with all his might if you made him do something such as lifting him off the sofa, he never once attempted to bite to the point we used to go and same to you as we continued to move him.

longtompot · 23/10/2023 10:46

legalseagull · 23/10/2023 09:45

It's not pain. It's just not wanting to do something and feeling threatened I suppose.

He can be fast asleep on his bed in the evening and if something disturbs him he will leap up and run, growling, to grab the closest thing on the floor. Anything at all. He just panics and needs to hold something.

Show quote history

I saw an Instagram post about grabbing a toy this morning, and apparently it's because they have an overwhelming sense of emotion, be it good or bad, and need to hold something.

I think your dog needs to not be allowed on the sofa and be trained to learn they need to be invited. My dog (cocker spaniel) will just jump up on the sofa, but I don't have an issue with getting her off if I need to.

Leonberger · 23/10/2023 11:15

Personally if I had a dog that couldn’t be trusted not to resource guard it would not be allowed on any furniture ever. I also would have it behind a baby gate at all times around the children, it’s really not worth the risk. Some of the worst bites I’ve seen have been triggered by resource guarding and you can’t eliminate everything the dog may want to claim hence why it’s such a no no around children.

It’s a really really common problem in cockerpoos sadly.

cocksstrideintheevening · 23/10/2023 11:29

My sil had a resource guarding cockerpoo. It eventually ended up with him attacking my fil when he was looking after the kids requiring surgery. It was an accident waiting to happen. He couldn't be rehomed after that and was going to be PTS, in the end he ended up in a rescue farm place.

I would be very wary.

margotrose · 23/10/2023 11:56

First things first, your dog needs to see a vet to rule out any pain. I'd want him checked for arthritis or stiffness as well as to make sure his hearing and eyesight are both okay.

Saying that, I would snap too if someone grabbed me by the neck or tried to shove me off the sofa with no warning. The difference is I can use my words whereas a dog has no choice but to growl or use their teeth.

Generally this sounds like a management issue rather than a dog issue. You can't expect dogs to just take everything you throw at them without issue.

Juliennehen · 23/10/2023 11:58

In the first instance your dog needs to be kept separate to the kids/other family members. Especially after the dog has had a run in with another dog that's caused a reaction. Your dog should be kept for the time being in a separate room or crate when you are not around.

Then you can figure out what the best plan is for him.

If you want to keep him he need's boundaries and I would say to minimise interaction with the kids. No one but you handles or deals with the dog so he can have consistency.

I wouldn't like to advise further, just want to suggest minimising risk to dog and people until you find a solution

Original poster
legalseagull · 23/10/2023 12:00

Thank you everyone. I was expecting a chorus of "rehome" or PTS

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