Autism/anxiety support dog for a teenager

[servicedog]

I am looking for a dog friend for an autistic 13yo teenager who's become really isolated and anxious. Waiting lists for real support dogs from good orgs who train dogs to support autistic people all seem to be closed. We don't really need a very specialised dog really, just one that's calm, loyal and playful and able to exercise my son.

I'm wondering if we just get a nice Labrador or similar from good breeder and found some dog training classes could we'd get most of what we're looking for? I grew up with border collies, so I'm used to them, but we live in city now and have cats. What breed would be best?

Also where do I look for a 'nice dog'? KC breeders? retired working dogs? If we wanted a puppy it looks like i can spend anywhere from a few hundred to 3k.
If I spend more am I more likely to get a dog who's going to be calmer and easier? Would i be better off looking for a mature dog who's character is known?

If you decide on puppy then the breed club is where you want to look, they often have a list of breeders and some have someone who keeps a puppy list of current puppies.

Price varies by breed, but no, paying more means not a lot, really cheap and really expensive tend to be worse breeders and good ones are somewhere between (where again varies by breed)

You want KC registration - but alone it doesn’t tell you anything, there are no good reasons not to register a litter of a breed that can be registered, so anyone who isn’t it’s for bad reasons, but it’s like a V5 for a car, it just tells you it’s definitely one of those, you’d still want to check other things before deciding to buy it.

Calm is tbh a hard one, because yes some breeds are livelier than others, but mostly it’s down to training.

It’s a cliche, but a rescue greyhound would probably suit really well, if it wasn’t for the cats, but cat friendly ones are rare, they exist, but it’s not common because they’re usually ex racers... a lurcher might give you more options?

Labs are popular because they’re very trainable, but they can be a bit nutty for the first few years.

if you’re open to rescue - breed matters less because you know you’re looking for able to live with cats, calm and biddable, so it doesn’t matter hugely what breed that comes in as it’ll ge individual dogs you’d look at.

We have done just this. We went for a Labrador who is ¾ show, ¼ working, from a litter from a very well regarded stud company who also do high level gun dog training. The sire is a show lab and won his class at crufts for the last two years. The dam is ½ show ½ working and is gundog trained. None of that was massively important to us, but just a sign that they were both capable of being trained and directed.

We're joining this programme https://www.adolescentdogs.com/assistancedogs

We've had our lab puppy for 4 weeks now and she's amazing. It is hard work though, and despite DD2 (16) driving the decision to get a puppy as an assistance dog, she's struggled a little with the unpredictability and her inability to instantly know what the puppy needs.

I would avoid Labs, tbh. They make great support dogs for physically disabled people who need support carrying out active tasks because they are highly inteligent and active dogs. For anxiety support you need a lapdog breed not a working breed.

My very anxious 19yo who is the process of being assessed for autism has 2 chihuahuas. Her oldest one is a real support to her. DD can actually leave the house and be a group of people if her dog can come. The dog is calm, friendly and stays close DD as they have a very strong bond. DD can hold her and pet her when she needs to do something with her hands to help her stay calm and she can use the dog's toileting needs to escape outside away from the group if she needs to.

The younger Chihuahua has a better pedigree. He was returned to a breeder after a few weeks so DD got him at a discount. He's a lovely dog but he's not very bright. He's a good support to DD but he can be more aloof than the older one, probably because he was brought in as a second dog so he bonded with the first dog as much as he did with DD.

They do not have any special training. I'm a former behaviourist but I don't have a great deal to do with them. I helped to socialise them so she could take them places without without them reacting to other dogs/strangers etc but I haven't done anything else with them. They don't need to be taught to go to DD when she needs them because they did that naturally.

Other lapdog/companion breeds would also work eg italian greyhounds. I'd avoid braceaphalic breeds like french bulldogs/boston terriers etc.

A greyhound or lurcher would also be a good fit or an older staffie.

Second a greyhound, lurcher or whippet.

Calm and quiet as a breed. Really don't need much exercise, will have a speedy burst and then sleep for the rest of the day.

Happiest snuggling up to you, and very loyal.

They're over-represented as PAT (Pets As Therapy) dogs for good reason.

Plus, tons of greyhounds and lurchers up for adoption. That way you get some guidance regarding their character (though they're know to be good with children).

I looked on Champdogs. My Lab is about half working strain and half show. I paid the top of your budget as I wanted all available health tests and genetic screening done due to a problem with my last Lab. Talking to the breeder is the most useful thing you can do. I had several very long conversations with mine before she agreed to let me have one of her puppies. Then eight months on the waiting list. Beware anyone with an instant puppy. It may be OK but these days it may be heartbreak waiting to happen.

I'm told, though I don't have one, that Havanese are the ultimate lapdog while still being tough enough for a decent walk.

Pricey, though.

Just a counterpoint - does your teen actually want a dog? My autistic DS is fairly ambivalent towards our dog. Doesn't dislike her, but neither does he interact with her. I can't say having a dog has done anything to help his anxiety.

(FYI, we have a Basset Fauve De Bretagne. Very calm, loving house dog and not at all ruffled by strange stimming, the odd meltdown etc. However, needs decent walks and has a strong prey drive so cannot be trusted around other pets.)

I have 2 labs and they are both calm and both empathetic. We did a lot of training with DDog1 as he was very energetic as a puppy/ adolescent.
They are both great with people, including my teenage ASD nephew.

If I was looking specifically for a support dog though, I would probably look for Golden Retriever, or Golden/ lab cross. Probably calmer, and the crosses are often used as guide dogs as they are willing enough, but less driven than a pure lab.

One word of warning if you do go for a companion breed - they can be very easily accidentally trained to be too needy. Although I said I didn't have much to do with Dd's Chis I did put measures in place to stop them developing behavioural issues from DD treating them as babies rather than dogs. I insisted they came downstairs at least an hour a day to socialise with my bigger, working breed and be allowed to "be a dog" and I walk them with my dog when DD is not feeling up to leaving the house.

Her second dog I did manage to get DD to teach him how to be comfortable on his own. I failed with the first one. She is very needy and cannot be on her own. On the rare occassions DD is able to leave the house without her dogs I get stuck with them and first one begs to be held most of the day and can only sleep in human beds with humans. If I don't go to bed when she thinks it is bedtime she starts pacing back and forth towards the door glaring at me pointedly. In that respect I find my working breed to be much easier to manage than the chis.

My working breed (beagle x) is DD's first attempt at getting herself an anxiety support dog. I did warn her that a very active working breed would not fit her needs but as I wanted another dog I allowed her to go ahead and adopt him and try it out. He spent less than an hour in her room before she brought him downstairs in tears. Like I'd warned her, he did not want to sit on her bed and be loved because she couldn't face being human that day, he wanted to play and no amount of teaching him to settle or rewarding him for calm behaviour would change that. In less than a fortnight he became my dog not DDs. When she's having a good day she does enjoy playing clicker training games with him and teaching him tricks and finds it easier and more enjoyable than trying to train her Chis but overall the chis are a much better match.

As someone with severe anxiety and also autism, I wouldn't get a dog. A cat was a much, much better choice for me - the pressure isn't on to have to be out of the house and walking it, I don't have to deal with other people walking their own dogs/other bad dog owners like I do for my dh's dog, and cats can be awesome snuggle buddies. Lots and lots are waiting to be adopted now, and if you can find a local charity that's not so anal (like Cats Protection is for example), they can help you find one who very socialised etc.

I think we've got lucky with our lab, or perhaps it is her age? She's 12 weeks and yesterday spent an hour outside a coffee shop. She can't go on the floor yet (2nd jabs Monday) so after cuddles and a bit of ham from the cafe staff, she settled in the dog buggy and then eventually went to sleep. We do invest a lot of time in making her job 'do nothing' though because she'll be expected to go anywhere with DD2 and she needs to know that if DD2 is occupied, her job will be to settle beside her and not demand attention.

I assume you have done your homework as to whether your son/daughter is going to be receptive to this? I have a DS with a diagnosis, and one who is probably somewhere on the spectrum but without a formal diagnosis. The latter absolutely loves our dog, the former has pretty much nothing to do with her. He finds her unpredictable and smelly. She's a perfectly normal smelling cocker spaniel, who is well-trained and very calm in the house.

Assuming you have, does your teen have a particular preference? I personally love cuddling a poodle - I find their coats really pleasant to the touch.

I'd second that. DS adored her dog unless she was barking, in which case she made him stressed and anxious to the point of head clutching and running away.

Being a dog, she had to bark sometimes. You could see her trying to hold it in: 'Gruff. Wff. Mmph. Wuff. WUFF. ArWUFFWUFFFWUFFWAROOOO!'

I’m going to put my unpopular hat on for a second, but I think people really over romanticise the benefit of dogs for people with ASD/SEN/MH issues.
A lot of dogs who are bred specifically for that purpose fail the training or prove to have unsuitable temperaments

If there is ASD at play could they cope with the puppy stage, the biting, the shitting on the floor, the waking up at night? No puppy is going to be super chilled and calm. Even a proper lap dog.

You’ve said what you want from the dog but what are you offering the dog in the way of grooming/training/exercise? What’s the dogs day to day? A lot of the companion breeds are very easy but more prone to separation anxiety etc.

What happens if something goes wrong and the dog ends up with lead frustration or separation anxiety?

Breed suggestions for small/calm/easy dogs, Shi tzu or a bichon usually are the top of my list.

I have a lab and one year in, we’re probably getting to the ‘calm, loyal’ stage. They are very high energy and need time and training to get to this stage. Dogs don’t come ready formed.

Have you considered an older rescue dog which may have already calmed down, or a ex-guide dog? Ie. One that didn’t make the grade. Look on their website for details.

Once you have chosen your breed, I strongly recommend contacting your local area breed club who will put you in touch with a suitable breeder who fully health tests. Breed clubs can be found on the kennel club website.

A good breeder will not be the most expensive.

Labradors are great but I don't know if I'd recommend one for someone who needs emotional support and comfort. They're working dogs and even the show lines need a good two hours of decent, good quality exercise a day to prevent them going rogue and eating your sofa or destroying your house.

Young Labradors are hard work - they're energetic, sociable, intelligent and need lots of attention, training and company. Yes, they can make good assistance dogs but you also need to think about how many dogs fail to "make the grade" because they're too anxious, or too easily distracted, or just not responsive enough to their handlers.

I think you need to be careful when getting a dog for "emotional support" as it can cause attachment and behavioural issues when they're not treated as dogs with needs and wants of their own.

I second considering a cat. Pick the right adult and you’ve got an amazing friend. I’ve had three adult rescues and two of them would have been fabulous emotional support animals. Current boy I love to bits but he’s a twat and anything but (that’s why we adopted him though - I love the quirky side of him).

A dog CAN be an emotional support dog. But the last thing you want when you’re feeling wobbly is a dog trying to play with you and barking in your face if you don’t and that’s one of many situations I can think of where a dog isn’t a good idea.

I know a school counsellor with an emotional support dog. He’s a Maltese and wonderful at his ‘job’. But he’s been selected through a breeding programme and professionally trained.

We have a lurcher and a greyhound currently and have had others. All our dogs have supported by daughter who has LD in different ways but they do seem intuitive with her. We always get rescue adult dogs and I don't think she would cope particularly well with the puppy stages. I've found that smaller rescues, especially those that have the dogs in foster homes are great at matching you with the right dog rather than you choosing.

Our latest small lurcher girl is currently curled up on her knee 🙂

I have 3 DC with ASD and a Whippet ticks all of the boxes. We went for a puppy and whilst she was adorable she absolutely wreaked havoc in the house. I had to work very hard as she became very needy with separation anxiety. Shes 7 months now and calming down.

Whippets have the most calm nature and love to snuggle with the family and are just generally loveable.

On balance I would have gone for an older dog rather than puppy. One DD (who is dog mad) has found the chaos and destruction a puppy brings very hard, but is now inseparable from her.

A couple of years ago there was a sudden burst of interest around us in support dogs for people with ASD and related conditions. As a regular dog walker I used to bump into four or five of them, all "under training" under a variety of DIY self-certification "training" schemes. Apart from being some of the worst behaved dogs in the park, none of them have been seen for at least a year. I don't think a dog is necessarily the right choice for someone with ASD - they're very demanding of a structured routine, and vulnerable to being trained to the point of neediness/demanding.

I'm surprised at the choice of Chihuahua that someone has mentioned. I don't associate either well-trained or calm as a characteristic of any of the several regular Chi's that walk in the park. Lovely dogs, but very barky and more highly strung than a string quartet!

I do get the value of a canine companion though. Our own lovely Staffy has helped me in some tough times, just through her sheer good nature and need for human companionship. Even though she's going to insist on a slow walk and sniff around the block in the rain again before very long!

Thanks for all the input.
I'm now also looking around more for cat-friendly lurchers/ whippets/greyhounds. Also labrador/retriever crosses. The small fluffy lapdogs not really robust enough for the games my son envisages. I'd like something low maintenance, so we can all to out for a few hours together or something without worrying about dog being left alone.

I'd rather not get a v young puppy but could just about manage it. I'm sure someone else could do better at training a dog than us and also I've had good experience with cat rescues, I really love ex stray cats. @Lougle AadolescentDogs definitely looks interesting if we do end up with a puppy.

My son is asking for a dog several times every day, originally it was for a bassett hound, then a labrador. I don't think he's that fussy about the breed. He wants a dog that can cuddle up to him but also go to park and chase a ball. He is certain he wants a male dog. He hung out a lot with our older cats and loved grooming them. They've passed now and the two we have left don't go anywhere near him. I do wonder if my remaining cats would find it easier to accept a puppy into the household, rather than a grown dog already bigger than them.

I suppose with Chihuahuas it depends how you raise them. DDs are not particularly barky. Her first one wasn't a barker and I didn't need to do any work on teaching her not bark. Her second one tries to bark if he hears a strange noise in the house but he doesn't try to bark at windows or anything like terrier types are prone to.

He probably would have been the type to bark at other dogs if left to his own devices but I picked up on that when I was socialising him and nipped it in the bud early on.

When I say he tries to bark, I don't think he's quite right and that is probably why he was returned to the breeder. He is incredibily dense. He either cannot or will not walk. He bounces instead. Remember those wind-up toy dogs that used to bounce around in a circle? That's what he does. He can bounce in a straightline when he wants to get somewhere but he also bounces in circles a lot. I took him to the vet when we first got him because I worried there was something physical stopping him from walking but the vet confirmed he is physically able to walk he just either never learned how or he chooses not to walk. And when he barks he sounds like an angry duck. Physically he is fine, if a little on the small side but I am convinced there is something not quite right neurologically. He's a nice enough dog though and very placid in the house and friendly to new people and dogs.

Personally, I would have picked an italian greyhound or small lurcher for her but she was adamant she wanted a chihuahua and I knew with the right training and socuialisation I could make it work (unlike with a beagle x who would have worked out how she envinsioned even if we hired a team of world class behaviourists)

I'd like something low maintenance, so we can all to out for a few hours together or something without worrying about dog being left alone.

Don't get a dog. Don't underestimate just how much of a change on your lifestyle a dog will make. If you get a puppy, that's potentially for the next 15 years.

@DogInATent seriously? dog owners shouldn't expect to be able go out without their dogs for a few hours occasionally?