Crazy to consider this?

[AnotherSkipper]

Rehome a 7 month old cocker spaniel when we have a 3 year old DC?

We lost our beloved dog, a cavalier, nearly 2 years ago. I’d rehomed him when he was one and had him for over 12 years. So experienced dog owners (always had them growing up too) in that sense although honestly our lovely boy was hardly a challenge and obviously a small/ toy breed. My parents had cocker spaniels growing up and other family members have them too currently so we know the breed but haven’t had our own as adults.

We really do want another dog but were planning to wait a little longer as DC still so young. Whereas all previous dogs had been rescues/ rehomed I didn’t think this would be a good fit with a young child, so we were going to start researching breeders/ suitable breeds etc next year and see where that led us.

However a friend of a friend has had a dramatic, and upsetting, change of circumstances and is now looking to rehome their 7 month old cocker. Friend thought of me and suggested it to me, and I’ve been chatting with current owner. Obviously there’s quite a lot we would need to know before ever agreeing to this, and all we’ve had is a brief initial conversation about the possibility as yet. But part of me thinks well maybe this could be it, a dog that comes along at the right time who needs a good home and we could provide that.

I want to suggest meeting up and meeting the dog in the first instance but tonight I’m just weighing up whether it’s crazy to contemplate with having a 3 year old. Is it just that I’m missing having a dog in my life so much and would love this to be our next one that I’m being blinded to the practicalities?

• We have a suitable home, safe and enclosed garden and live right on edge of lovely big park
• Always someone at home
• Current owner has been taking dog to puppy training and we would keep that up
• Not neutered but we would do that when settled
• No health issues known - I do have some questions I need to ask about the breeder though, my understanding is that a reputable one would have taken the dog back in these circumstances
• 3 year old fairly sensible as they go, good level of understanding and used to family dogs - but 3 is still 3 and my biggest concern is that it’s too big an ask for them and for the dog somehow
• As I say above, obviously not going to make a decision overnight and there’s more information I need first

Has anyone else brought a new dog home with similarly aged DC?

Yep You are crazy to consider this dog.

People lie about why they are rehoming all the time. A friend of a friend will lie. I I very much doubt that this will be an easier dog to live with initially.

A cocker at 7 month will be very very full on dog and will need a lot of input.

Most dogs are sent to rescue in this age bracket.

3 year old child and 7month old cocker will be extremely hard work.

I've had dogs and toddlers young children a rescue puppy yes it was hard work but fine weve also had a rescue pup (8 months) also hard work because adolescent arsehole !
This is the prime age people give up dogs but if you are prepared to put in the work they need training and patience because their teen brain forget and their ears are for decoration Then do it. I currently have a Cocker spaniel and he is a joy he's still young though so it's constant but he's a lovely dog. Meet the dog without your son and see how it goes .

I have also always had dogs and toddlers but dogs that have been assessed or I know the background really well.

I would not touch a dog that has not been through a rescue centre and is a private rehoming - ever.

The issue for me is the method of rehoming and age of dog

No way - I would never trust a random stranger friend of a friend to tell the truth. When we were looking to get a dog we were offered several “change of circumstances” dogs, when we looked into it more stories didn’t add up and basically they were dogs coming from useless owners who had no clue how to do even basic training.

We’ve recently taken on a rescue dog from a reputable charity- dog had been with them from 8 weeks as had a medical condition. Beautiful dog, but the disruption of being moved from house to house had really affected her and it’s taken a lot of training to calm her and settle her. My youngest is 7 and I’ve had days when I’ve thought what on Earth was I thinking - no way would I do that with 3 year old. It only takes dog jumping up and knocking kid over and then Dog or kid getting freaked for it to go wrong. Our dog is settled well now and kids and dog adore each other.

Wait a couple years.

I wouldn’ t. Just don’t think dogs and young children are a good mix.

Thanks all.

I know the reason for rehoming is genuine and it really isn't just 'couldn't be arsed anymore' or 'dog was too hard work' - I'd already heard from my friend about it (because she was very upset by the news, it really is very sad) before the topic of the dog ever came up.

However, that's not to say there AREN'T other issues with the dog, or other reasons that the dog isn't being rehomed through other channels. And even if he is a perfectly happy, healthy dog I completely take on board that it would be an enormous amount of work and commitment, and maybe still not fair to DC or dog.

Our last dog was a 'change of circumstances' dog, someone we knew had a relationship breakdown, was on her own with three children and a full time job and realised they just weren't meeting the dog's needs. He was perfect, the best dog there ever was and couldn't have been a better fit for me when single, my wider family then and the family I went on to have with DH/DC. So it definitely can happen, and I suppose that's making me more inclined to be optimistic, but really I know that we were very very lucky with him. And I mean he was bonkers, and hard work when I first had him, but I didn't also have a 3 year old to think about.

I'm definitely cooling on the idea a bit having slept on it, I'd still like to meet the dog but don't want to waste current owners time so am holding off suggesting that for now.

If you didn’t have a 3 year old I’d say go for it.

3 is very young though, and the dog at 7 months is hitting peak teenage hormone nutty-ness. I’ve never had a spaniel, though dog sat a few, so you know the breed better.

If you get it expect a year of intense work, then it should calm down.

Are you thinking of having more kids?

We really do want another dog but were planning to wait a little longer as DC still so young

maybe this could be it, a dog that comes along at the right time

These can't both be true

I don't think this is the right time for you at all. And I think you will be a fantastic and responsible owner if you wait and stick to your earlier timelines. That you're not letting your heart rule your head is a good thing.

If you are interested, when your DC is older, in getting a spaniel puppy, do look at the ones on the KC vulnerable native breeds list. There are some breeds that are far less hyper than cockers, and which (because of their rarity) are only really produced by breed enthusiasts rather than commercial set-ups)

Are you thinking of having more kids? - no there won't be any more. Took a very long time, and a lot of help, to have our only.

If you are interested, when your DC is older, in getting a spaniel puppy, do look at the ones on the KC vulnerable native breeds list. There are some breeds that are far less hyper than cockers, and which (because of their rarity) are only really produced by breed enthusiasts rather than commercial set-ups) I didn't know this, thank you that's a good idea.

It's very hard to overrule one's heart in these situations but I would 100% advise against getting this dog now. I would wait until your 3yo is at school full time at least. Puppies are incredibly hard work... we're just starting to come out of it with our girl who is now 9 months and cocker puppies are notoriously bonkers.

Is it a show or a working?
Personally, I don’t like cockers and very small children as a combination.
The proclivity to resource guarding and not having an off switch (or really having to train that off switch) I think isn’t a great combo with small children around.
I would firstly scan through the spaniel aid website and have a real look at the number of cockers who get handed to rescue following an incident where they have snapped at or bitten a child or their owners in a resource guarding incident. It might give you an idea of how frequently it happens.

If it’s a working it will need a lot of not only walks but mental stimulation to keep him happy and not destructive. Will you have time for that with a small child? What would when the weather is terrible and your child doesn’t want to go out?

I would also add a good breeder would be taking that dog back. Especially as it’s so young. So it’s likely an unscrupulous breeder or a puppy farm, which you do not want with a breed so prone to guarding/anxiety. You at least want to know it’s been carefully bred from parents with stable temperaments

^ This I own 2 pedigree dogs (and have previously owned 7 others) I have s always signed an agreement stating I would inform the breeder of my circumstances changed and I couldn't keep the dog they would take the dog back with a view to finding them a new approved home. This is standard stuff for dogs purchased from reputable breeders.

I own a cardigan corgi a rare native breed only bred by serious breed enthusiasts. They are a big dog personality on short legs, loyal loving very easy going definitely no hang ups or neuroses funny they are not food obsessed and will walk miles or sit around not doing a lot the only downside the shed a lot. This is my 3rd the first one arrived when the kids were 3 and 4 he was no trouble easy to train in all ways, he lived till 14 never stepping a paw in the vet until the last two weeks, he remains to this day the best dog we’ve ever owned even by non doggy husband still talks about him.

I have spaniels, I would say that if it is working lines it will need proper training and stimulation. Given that, alongside firm boundaries(with your child and the dog) they can be a joy to have with children. However you NEED to be 100% constantly thinking of the dog, the training, the child etc. they can be very hyper if not properly stimulated but mine are dozy things in the house because they get it.
If you aren't used to dogs then don't get it. If you are sure your commitment can last for years then it could be a good asset to your family.

They can be prone to resource guarding. They need very firm boundaries in place to establish their position- once you have that they are very happy little dogs and I firmly believe you can't get better.

No idea about show ones though!