I am sooooo dog broody but I don’t think I can have one…can I?

[Sidebeforeself]

i really want a dog. Retiring next year so that would be the best time. Never had one but family members have. Prefer bigger/more active breeds. Ground floor flat but countryside on doorstep. However no secure garden. We like holidays/overnight stays but wont be able to afford them often when i retire.DH prefers cats . What do you reckon?

I’ve had in the past dogs similar to the ones you like personally I think no secure garden is a big issue (I live in a very rural area and with the right to roam so loads of opportunities to walk my dog). But I have made my garden dog secure, it’s makes all the difference to my life and the dog. I can open my French windows and let my dog out to do a pee in all weathers including 3 am, I can leave the French windows open on a warm day and the dog can go in and out as he pleases as can I. I can hang washing out, eat my breakfast in the garden, do gardening and not constantly stress about what the dog is doing and where he is. My friends are happy to pop round and let the dog into the garden to do a pee if I get held up at work, and anyone staying with me doesn’t have to worry about accidentally letting the dog out.
My friend has a vizla in a small two bed house, they are very boisterous dogs, would you have somewhere to put it if non doggy people come over? She shuts hers in the conservatory not everyone wants a 38kg dog leaping all over them.
Lastly you say you DH is more of a cat person will he really be happy living 24/7 with a large easily over excitable dog the requires a lot of input to stop it being a f……g pain in the arse? I’m a dog person I have been round dogs all my like and have owned dogs like vizlas, they were on a farm and out all day running around, Im a big walker but no longer live on a farm I now own a smaller quieter less demanding breed of dog nothing even retirement would persuade me to own vizla type dog again however beautiful and loving they are.

For me, the need for a garden is nothing to do with exercise and everything to do with having safe, secure, accessible place for them to go to the toilet.

If your garden isn't secure, you're going to need to go out at least 4-5 times a day with your dog to take them to the toilet, including first thing in the morning, last thing at night and during the day when it's hammering it down with rain and your waterproofs are still absolutely soaked from the last time.

If you're happy to take a puppy out on a lead at 3am to do a wee, or to get all dressed up at midnight when it's -5 outside to take your dog out for the toilet for the next 12-15 years, then go for it, but personally it's not something I'd ever want to sign up for.

Of course, loads of people do have dogs in flats/apartments and manage just fine but it is a big consideration, especially if you're toilet training a puppy who needs to be taken out every 30 minutes or so.

Should also add that many responsible breeders will not sell you a dog unless you have a secure garden. My corgi can’t even get on the sofa let alone climb out the garden but I had to provide photos of my garden to prove it was dog secure, he asked to see photos proving it was adequately fenced and for it to be a minimum of 4’ 6” and that I could also demonstrate that the dog couldn’t escape under gates etc and corgis aren't normally escape artists, ditto my last dog who was only 15” to the shoulder (different garden but equally fussy breeder) and unlikely to jump a 5 foot fence. It cost me £8k to build a dyke/fence my not overly large garden in to stop the dog escaping.

I think you are all gently telling me what I suspected. I am probably resigned to harassing people I see with gorgeous dogs and asking if I can stroke them. The dogs not the owners!

It's not that you can't get a dog, it's that you need to be realistic about what you can offer - and that probably means not getting a gun dog or a German Shepherd when you have no secure outside space and a husband who prefers cats

If you want to think with your head and not your heart here are some questions to ask yourself.
Why do I want a dog?
Why do I want a big dog?
Why do I want an active dog?
Do I really, really love walking at least twice a day (for at least an hour a time), whatever the weather, however busy I am doing other things, whatever my mood and however well or not I feel?

Can I afford food, insurance, vets bills, kennel fees?
How will I cope when my dog gets old/sick/can't walk with me?
Will my dog bark when I'm out and drive my neighbours crazy?
Am I house proud? (because your house is going to face the full brunt of fur, toys, blankets, baskets, bowls, muddy foot prints and occasional wee/poo/sick?)
Do I want to spend the first 10 years of my retirement putting a dog above all my other activities, needs, desire?

If my dog has a dodgy tummy, do I mind putting a coat on and going out with her three times and hour through the day or night?
How will it feel when I'm making sacrifices for my dog and my husband doesn't want to make the same sacrifices because he didn't want a dog?
What will I do when my husband wants a holiday but I'm so besotted with the dog I can't bear to put her in kennels?
Do I want to put myself and my husband second to the needs of a dog for 10 years or more?

The not having a garden is only one hurdle in a sea of hurdles.
A dog is a joy and a privilege, but the above is the reality.

I think no secure garden is no issue at all. We have a garden and our dog rarely goes in it. We go out for walks pretty much exclusively.

Our previous dog we had in a Mews house with no garden and just walked him frequently… was great as there’s more interaction than just opening a back door.

Absolutely get a dog especially if you can fence your garden in. I would be lost without mine but get one that’s suitable for your lifestyle. I have a cardigan corgi big dog personality (and bark) on short legs. Easy going friendly but they don’t bounce up to every stranger, not stressy, no hang ups, easy to train will walk miles or round the block sleep in between walks very adaptable , not food obsessed I think they are great and sooo handsome this is my second one. Only downside they shed like nothing on this earth.
But there are plenty of other suitable breeds out there.

In fairness @BristolBlueGlasses I don't think many (if any) dog owners put that much thought into whether dog ownership is right for them.

Look anyone can own a dog and provide it with an amazing home even if in paper it’s not ideal. But why make dog owning more difficult than it needs to be? If you’re desperate for a dog get one and if you like vizla type dogs assuming you can find a reputable breeder who’ll sell you one get one of those but you need to prepared for the fact that your situation is not a ideal for owning that type of dog.
Dogs are a tie you loose a lot of freedom by owning a dog but if your sensible and committed then you can do it. Many on here have a small heart attack and even the thought of putting their dog in kennels but in the real world I put mine in when I go away as do most people I know with dogs and a friend tried to get her dog into kennels as an emergency she was in hospital and all the kennels round here weee fully booked so plenty of people use kennels and go away. You’ll also see loads of people on here saying “I never leave my dog” again everyone I know leaves their dog for 4-5 hours sometime ok not on a regular basis but they do leave them all have healthy happy well adjusted dogs.
I don’t agree it’s a privilege to own a dog dogs are not humans they do not have the same needs as humans and they don’t think like humans.

I had 3 large dogs in a flat for a while, there was a garden but like PP it wasn't as easily accessible as opening door so quicker to just take them up the street for toilet trips and it quickly get used to it.
It's more a problem for the owner than the dog tbh as you have to quickly take them out first thing and maybe wandering street in PJ's at 3 am with multiple dire rear trips ahead. If your ill (virus may both be sick) that will be time you wish you had a garden. The dogs enjoyed all the fresh sniffs and sights, plus were always more likely to toilet quicker when out for walk than in the garden as they'd find some scent to over mark. It helped as they aged too as lots of short walks out is better for mobility with arthritis than usual 1 or 2 longer walks a day.

It's a shame your DH doesn't like greyhounds as sighthounds are more cat like in nature so they'd probably gel and tend to be lazy inside. Lurchers are sighthound mix so come in different sizes /looks/ stamina/ brains based on their make up genes which often not straight x but mix. Traditionally for hunting it was typically terrier or collie added in. Anything crossed with a sighthound will have similar lean bodyshape though so do see shepherds, mastiff, labs, spaniel, poodle x lurchers.

I think you can have a dog but may need to compromise on breed type, I would look for more low-medium energy breeds that you can keep fit and entertained more easily than those with higher energy/stimulation needs that will struggle if you aren't able to meet them. As a first time owner its very easy to over estimate what you think can provide and manage and in reality that bright interactive, high energy dog may not be what you'd enjoy living with daily.
Maybe use this time to try and meet more owners of breeds that think maybe suitable in person. The breed rescues often give the more negative aspects as want people to go into adoption with realistic expectations.

The good thing about going with an adult rescue dog is that you've a better idea of what to expect and some may not fit typical traits or energy of their breeds. Breed specific or smaller rescues are more likely to consider unusual adopter situations than larger names. If you can make the small outside area more secure from escape that will help.

Lots of dog friendly holiday accomodation and pubs etc for weekends/holidays away. Stayed in few chain hotels with dogs when visiting family in the city outskirts too.

I would also add that when most people say they want an intelligent dog, what they really mean is that they want a biddable dog who is easy to train.

Do you want a dog who will teach themselves to open the doors to the food cupboard or one who will learn to sit nicely by the doors to the food cupboard?

It’s a no from me. If you already have a dog and you find yourself forced in to a less than ideal housing situation that’s one thing. It’s another to do it on purpose.

Why can’t you move to somewhere with a garden? Can’t imagine retirement without adequate outside space. If you are retired you could go anywhere?

What about a cocker spaniel?
Medium breed, super intelligent, easy to train if you can put in the dedication in & are active dogs.

We have a Garden and it's so easy to just open the door and let her out whenever. I stayed in a house a few weeks ago without one and it was a royal PITA to have to schlep outside with her every time she needed to go out. It didn't help that she wasn't v well after drinking seawater so needed to go out more often and in the night (which isn't usual)

I suspect it's one of those things you could get used to but I'm not sure I'd want to!

We had a rescue lab x collie in a flat, it was us take him in or he was put to sleep, he was 10 years old. We all managed fine. We worked from home so we took him for a short sniff wee walk about 6 times a day then a longer walk at some point. We also did training with him, and he went everywhere with us. He was a lovely old boy and I would like to think we made his end days just a bit better. We had him put to sleep at about 14 when the bad days outnumbered the good. I miss him!

It was a huge bind constantly having to think of taking him out properly for every single wee, but we all got used to it, he trained himself to wee and poo on demand (probably due to me trying to encourage him to hurry up when it was raining….) and we did end up giving him separation anxiety since we were always with him. But since we were always with him it wasn’t a problem! I did worry about the stairs as he aged, but he always managed to gallop up and down them, his issues in the end were pancreas problems but if he had got arthritic then it might have been an issue, he was far too big to carry.

In summary, probably not a good idea, but it can work!

I have friends who own a cocker spaniel without a secure garden and honestly, they admit it's a real pain in the arse and they wouldn't do it again.

That would be fine for a dog. They would only need a small pee and poo space so they can go out late at night before bed. If you have a nearby space to walk too then that sounds good.

You’ve never had a dog, so you don’t know what it’s like having one. We are on our third dog, so I will try and share some real life tips with you.

We had a Golden Retriever and they are the most wonderful dogs but, they really need a garden to run around in. When they are young, they need a lot of attention in terms of walks, playing and training. Ours stayed young until she died at age 13.

Most dogs shed, some more than others. I used to joke that I could have knitted a sweater every week, just out of dog fur. Oh and many dogs love mud and water. Our Goldie once ate cow poo and then threw up in the boot of the car. Many love rolling in any sort of poo, fox poo being especially enticing as it stinks and lingers after repeated bathing.

Puppies are full on and I mean full on. A puppy becomes your life’s work. Housetraining completely takes over your life and I just can’t imagine trying to housetrain without a garden.

I can’t just move to somewhere with a garden! What a strange thing to say.

I do think I need to rethink the whole thing , but one possibility is considering different breeds. The problem is there is so much conflicting advice.

For example, my preference would be a rescue dog. I’d love to give a home to one. But I know that most rescues come with some issues and I’ve been told that’s not a good idea if you e never had a dog before .

For example, my preference would be a rescue dog.

If you don't have a secure garden then you're incredibly, indeed unlikely to get a rescue dog.

How about a breed specific rescue? A friend got a lovely lab from one the family it came from were being redeployed abroad and felt it wasn’t appropriate to take the dog. The dog was 2 1/2 years old child friendly well behaved and socialised so none of the issues around getting a puppy. You’ll probably have to wait, it doesn’t sound like your in a hurry, and as my grandmother used to say “everything comes to those who wait”.

A lot depends on the dog doesn’t it? Many dogs in rescues seem to have issues about being reactive to other dogs so having a secure place away from other dogs might be something they really need, and taking an active but reactive dog out many times during the day to make sure it is getting enough exercise while staying on lead might end up a chore rather than a pleasure.

Sorry pressed too soon, maybe go for a rescue dog from a centre that rehomes older less demanding dogs, there is one called Oldies that has some older dogs on.

Is that directed at me? About it being a strange thing to say about needing a garden?