Please can someone help me with a puppy who doesn't settle at night

[ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual]

Puppy is 10 weeks old and has been with us 10 days...I know it's very early days but I am starting to go mad with sleep deprivation. I'm not expecting her to sleep through the night but she wakes every hour.

She doesn't like the crate (we are working on this - crate games, meals in there etc) and is happiest when we're with her so we're sleeping on the sofa while she is in crate. When she wakes we shush (in earshot but not sight), which has some success, but she wakes repeatedly. After 2-3 hours of repeated waking I take outside to do a wee/poo then straight back in again and repeat. She doesn't need the toilet earlier than this - previously we took out every 1.5-2 hours, it made no difference to the waking and she wasn't 'desperate' to go.

She is impossible to settle again after around 5:15/5:30. So at the moment we're up every hour then start the day extremely early. It is killing me and I'm confused how to help her - we are in the same room as her giving reassurance, making sure she gets toilet breaks, we have a bedtime routine which she seems to respond well to, and she has a scented blanket and heartbeat sound, which she seems to like.

The reason we're trying to persevere with crate is because the advice seems to suggest dogs need a safe space. But I'm doubting if this is how she views it? She never chooses to sleep in there during the day, despite our work on crate games, staying nearby, feeding in there etc.

We don't want pup upstairs. I don't mind sleeping on sofa in these early weeks while she needs us nearby. I understand that, and I know she is still very tiny. But it's getting to the point where no-one, pup included, is getting enough sleep.

Am I missing something? Do I persevere with the crate/sleeping nearby? Another option is to take her out the crate and just have her sleeping by me on the sofa (in her bed on the floor right by me) but my worry is that this is what she'll always want - I'm trying to aim for giving reassurance now which can be gradually withdrawn as she gets more confident - i.e. sleeping by crate now then as she gets older the crate stays her familiar place but we start sleeping upstairs.

We have a 9 week old puppy. We've been using Susan Garrett's crate games with her. We have her in DD2's (downstairs) bedroom and have a crate, surrounded by a puppy pen. For the first 4 nights or so, she chose to sleep on a towel or blanket in the pen. We've continued to play crate games and on day 5 she started to wander into her crate for a short while. Last night (night 8) she spent all night in the with the door shut, except for toilet breaks at 01.30 and 04.30.

Is the crate small enough? We had quite a large crate and we only saw progress once we put a divider in to make it much smaller.

Have you tried putting her in the crate when she's sleepy, but leaving the door open?

What crate games are you doing?

By 05:15/05:30, she's sounding overtired. She should be sleeping about 18-20 hours per day at this age.

When she wakes we shush (in earshot but not sight)

Why not in sight? Chances are if she wakes and can see you, she'll go back to sleep without waking you up and you'll just have a toilet trip or two.

Last night our puppy was a bit unsettled at first. I put my fingers through the crate, then after a minute or two, just put my hand flat against the side of the crate, so she could lick it. That was enough to settle her and she went to sleep.

@Lougle thanks...if we put her in when she's sleepy and keep the door open, 9/10 she'll get back out and return to sleep by us. We tried this method for initial couple of nights but she would get out once dh was asleep and soil the floor. I am a lighter sleeper so would probably hear her and pre-empt this? So perhaps could return back to this idea.

Crate games...high value treats in there, working up to closing door for short period. Put treats in there for her to find at other times. Treats through door when she's sitting down/calm. Kong/licky mat in there. Meals in there, staying nearby.

@MetaMette the idea with earshot not sight was because I was hoping sound would be enough then as she got more confident we could more easily withdraw upstairs, I think I had in my head that we could shush through room door once she was feeling settled enough but if she was expecting to see us then this would be harder to do?

I don't know - I clearly don't have a clue! I'm trying to balance reassurance with good habits. I read lots before she arrived with us but everything seemed to start with crate being a magical safe space and not much advice other than pop a treat in there on arrival and get on with it.

She's a tiny baby she shouldn't be being left to sleep alone!!!
You need the crate near you (within reach) so she feels safe. She's gone from having mum and her litter mates to what being left abandoned downstairs all night shut in a crate?

Re the waking if she stirs you need to be there to reassure her your nearby. If she doesn't resettle quickly then straight outside for a wee. Regardless of how much you think she needs it. You need to get the association of waking up and going outside.
Not going immediately when taken out doesn't equal not being desperate. Dogs only toilet when they feel safe. So yes sometimes it takes a little while for them to assess where they are and decide it's safe to go to the loo. Frustrating yes but it's how dogs work.

Is this your first dog?

We used a crate in the following way with no issues. We put the sleepy puppy in one beside our bed and once asleep closed the door. We woke her half way through the night and took her out to wee, then carried her back and popped her in again, settled her down and then went back to sleep. We had 10 pm until 7 am this way. After a week or so we moved the time we woke her up back by 10 minutes a night until she was going to 6.30 am. We got her into the habit that crates meant sleep time. When she was going through the night consistently we kept the crate open but penned her onto one side of the room. Because lights off meant bed time she trotted into her crate after a minute or two and slept for 8 - 10 hours. She is 12 months now and still do this each night. She has to sleep in our room as we have an open plan house and a cat who she loves a little too much! You could use the same method but sleep with them for a while.

Crate training when awake is a whole different thing entirely. It takes weeks and months of building value and whilst I have crate trained very effectively the dog has to be old enough for some self control IMO which doesn't come until they get a bit more mature.

We are aiming to move ours out of our room once she calms down with the cat (she is much better than she used to be) but she sleeps so well we don't really need to hurry.

OP initially move closer to her crate/bed when you sleep. She needs to smell and be aware that you are close. Gradually over time you can move further away until you are in your own bed.

We also had the crate in our room next to our bed so we could put fingers in/stroke for reassurance. Once he was settled and sleeping through we slowly moved the crate (a foot every couple of days) towards and out of the bedroom door. He then slept on the upstairs landing for a few weeks before moving downstairs. They've been sleeping sandwiched with their family for their whole life so it's a big shock. Focus the sleep first and the location second!

@needtonamechangeforthis1 yes this is my first dog. Could I ask you to please re-read my first post. She is not being left downstairs by herself. I am sleeping on the sofa and I reassure her when she stirs.

Is the crate covered?

thank you @Newpeep, @IngGenius and @Pizdets that's helpful. I will move her crate nearer me to help with touch reassurance.

@cocksstrideintheevening it has a blanket over the top/sides. Front left uncovered.

You have clearly said multiple times that your not near enough for her to be able to see you let alone be physically reassured by your presence.

She needs to be next to you. Not across the room or in the hall way or downstairs. Right next to you.

It doesn't have to be forever. My youngest is now 3 and willingly sleeps apart from me most of the time (apart from thunderstorms or fireworks). Keep her close now, let her confidence grow and then let her move away in her own time.

You need to be right next to her crate - as in, within touching distance of her so you can reassure her when she's upset and scared.

Being within earshot but out of sight just isn't enough I'm afraid, especially if you're leaving her in a crate that she's unhappy in.

Thank you @margotrose . Point completely taken about being closer and I'll start that from this evening.

It is hard at first but I promise it does get easier. Generally all they want is company and reassurance at that age!

Mine was a horror to settle alone but as an adult he'll actively take himself off for peace and quiet ☺️

If you can get hold of a copy, Susan Garret's crate games DVD is excellent. They do a subscription service of $30 for the year, but the DVD can be bought for about £30, so I did that.

The whole thing with the crate, especially in the day time, is that it needs to be a choice and that the dog associates the crate with really good things. Our dog is 9 weeks old. She came to us 1 week on Saturday. We have been following SG's crate games, so we are holding the treat at the back of the crate when she comes into it. Then we closed the door for literally a second, and treat. Then 5 seconds, etc. Then we've introduced 'ok' as our 'you can come out now' word -although tbh I think I probably use a hand movement that she's picked up more. It isn't the one treat that gets them in there, but the hundreds of treats over session after session. So 5 minutes of crate games a couple of times per day will do nothing at first, then suddenly you'll see results as you've 'banked' all those positive associations.

We had ours so close I could put my hand in to touch her. As she got more secure we moved the crate a bit further away to its more permanent place in the corner of the room.

Thanks @Newpeep and @Lougle - will do both of these suggestions.

I'll report back tomorrow on how the different night approach has gone!

Don't be disillusioned though! I've just popped down and puppy has chosen to snuggle up against a towel in her pen, rather than her cosy and comfy crate. That's fine. She'll choose the crate more and more over time.

Last night was more of the same unfortunately. Being closer didn't seem to settle her and the touch if anything seemed to rile her up. We're starting puppy classes on Sunday and the lovely lady who runs them has agreed to come to the house later this week to help find a way forward. I don't know what to do for the best but we can't continue like this. I'm getting almost zero sleep and so is she, which then makes her daytime temperament completely different and not at all enjoyable! I'll persevere with the closeness in the meantime and fingers crossed we get some more sleep.

It's great that you have moved her closer to you!
Don't be disheartened that it hasn't worked straight away!
She's had a few nights where she's woken and not had you there by her and so it will take a little time for her to settle.

Is she just in a crate? Or is there a puppy pen attached? What sort of bedding does she have?

If a dog has been anxious then it will take some time to turn that around. Much of this kind of training is about forming habits and not training so keep at it. We had a few blips with our pup where even though she was in our room she needed a bit of extra reassurance so I laid down by the crate until she drifted off to sleep, then moved away again over a few nights. Puppy confidence can wax and wane and then adolescence hits and it can all go out of the window again!