Training - manners!

[recklessgran]

Sorry this is going to be a long one!
Please can I get some opinions on this as I need to work out whether or not I am being unreasonable or have unrealistic expectations. We have a 3 year old sprocker who is essentially DH's dog as he is semi retired, loves dogs and has some spare time on his hands to take proper care of him and engage in training etc. DH loves dogs and has pretty much always had one so he's an experienced dog owner. He takes good care of this boy with 3 long walks/runs a day but my issue is with DD's general behaviour which DH insists is normal dog behaviour. Firstly, I am unable to walk DD as he pulls so badly on the lead that he would have me over - even DH has trouble with this. He has tried various leads etc but he says nothing works. I don't see anyone out walking their dogs and being hauled along - they all seem to be walking quite sedately so my first question is why is that and how can we fix this? DH blames cats and says DD is trying to get to cats he sees along the way. I think with time and perserverance DD cou;ld be trained to walk nicely on a lead but the question is how?
My issues with DH's reluctance to actually train DD came to a head this last weekend when I left a cake I had baked on a cooling rack on the kitchen work top while I went to the bathroom. DH was in the garden at the time but I expect you can guess that DD jumped up and took a massive chunk out of one of the layers. I therefore threw the cake in the bin and was very upset - not least because we were expecting visitors and that was what the cake was for - planning to fill it will fresh cream and raspberries. DH was cross with me for being upset and seemed to think it was my fault for leaving the cake unattended on the worktop and that I shouldn't have thrown it away but taken measures to "rescue" the unchewed part!! I reminded him that DD's tongue had been licking his privates previously but DH didn't get it.
The next issue is that DD won't leave us alone when we're eating. We tend to eat on the sofa and on several occasions DD has stolen food from my plate whilst I've been eating. According to DH it is up to me to stop the dog from stealing food from my plate. I don't agree and think DH should train DD not to steal food! In truth DD is allowed to do as he likes but DH doesn't seem to understand why I expect him to clean sloobber off the windows a nd dog biscuit crumbs from the carpets, chairs and floors.
I would add that DD is very lovable and cute and I'm quite fond of him but it's his behaviour that's driving me nuts, so am I being unreasonable to think that these issues aren't actually DD's fault but can be resolved by proper care and training from DH? Any advice at this point would be really appreciated as DH and I are permanently at war on this. Many thanks all.

All these things are fixable, for the dog. The DH training bit will be trickier!! 😂

There's lots of training tips on the Dogs Trust website, their Dog School also has adult classes you both might find useful. They also have a Behaviour Support Line you can phone which is free:

As your dog is a foodie (RIP cake) you will find training rewards easy at least!

For the pulling on the lead, as DH does the walking he'll need to sit up and pay attention as this will take consistency and patience. It's normal for dogs who haven't been trained to walk nicely to pull, all those sedate dogs have had some good training put in. This is the DT advice:
https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/dog-advice/training/outdoors/walking-nicely-training

For when you're eating, settle your dog either on the other side of the room or even in another room with something tasty for them, a nice filled kong or a lickimat. Something that will keep them busy for a bit, away from your plate!

If they are prone to counter surfing and nothing on the worktops is safe, it will be a case of keeping everything food locked up and, if you can, keeping the dog out of the kitchen when you're not able to supervise.

Your DH might have dog experience, but he has a very low bar for what counts as acceptable canine behaviour.

On the lead walking front, dogs soon work out who expects a loose lead and who lets them get away with murder. So if you have the patience and the time, you can train the dog to walk well for you.

Aside from big distractions like a new and thrilling location, which can be a bit much for the younger one (who is almost better in an off-lead heel), my two walk beautifully on the lead for me almost all the time. They behave with DH like huskies in the Iditarod. It's entirely his fault, because he lets them do it and then moans....

Quite a few things are about management. Food stealing is self rewarding so the more they do it the more they will! So dog is not allowed in the kitchen unattended. Dog is taught to lay on a mat (really easy) while you eat etc etc. We moved from the sofa to the table to eat most nights when our pup was small until she developed some self control around food (which needs to be taught) and learnt that laying on her mat gets her snacks and trying to steal gets nothing. Now she goes and lays on her mat when I am preparing food as me making tea = mat which = treats. She is a terrier by the way so doesn't have very good frustration tolerance as a breed type. If she can do it any dog can!

My last dog was trained to a very high level in just about everything. I wouldn't have left food in her reach out of sight. Just too tempting for her. You need to get smart with dogs.

For walking, you both need to train. Dogs don't generalise well. It's hard going but can be done with consistency. In the mean time, a well fitting harness with a front and back ring to minimise pulling and then train outside walk times, slowly applying it to times when you are going for a walk.

It is all normal dog behaviour but it is not all essential dog behaviour and it is not all behaviour you, therefore, have to live with.

The magic of dogs is the sheer range of behaviours they can be trained/habituated to. In all 3 examples, the dog is doing what it is doing because he is being rewarded for it. If he no longer got the reward he would give up the behaviour. If he got rewarded for an incompatible behaviour, he'd give it up even quicker.

Lead pulling...

Current reward: getting to move forward to a new location and smells. Maybe some touch-triggered reward from the feel of the pull, particularly if this has become linked in his mind to the thrill of a walk.

This IS a hard one for springers and cockers, many of which have elements of pulling bred into them. Often sniffer dogs are trained to 'pull' their handlers along to whatever it is that smells right.

They are also bred to quarter - which means dart back and forth sideays as they move forwards. This is not very compatible with loose lead walking.

However, as PP said: they are exceptionally good at learning I can pull with X walking me but not with Y. So you can train this when you walk the dog and let your DH do whatever he wants. It's easier if you both do exactly the same, but it can also be done by just one walker. Dogs Trust method is as good as any.

New reward: only gets to move forward when by your side, maybe coupled with training treats.

Stealing cake...

Current reward: cake!

Yeah - lots of dogs steal things from the side and it's one of those things that, once they've stolen one thing (a nice mouthful of cake) it is a behaviour that has been so rewarded it is always worth it to them to try again.

Don't leave anything in dog reach - the better you are at this, the less chance there is of the dog managing to get anything, the sooner they give up trying.

Eventually age stops them too - jumping up for side-food tends to be a young dogs's game.

New reward: none - it's often more effort than it's worth to try and reward him for not counter surfing. It's easier just to keep ood out of reach until he gives up.

Plate surfing...

Current reward: a lick of your shepherd's pie gravy (or whatever).

Again, it is entirely possible for the dog to learn they never get anything from you or your plate and so leave you alone. Even if he still pesters and succeeds with your DH.

As pp has said, a nice way to do this is to ensure the dog only ever gets any food when lying down away from you. You can do this with a kong, or by popping a mat down (as a target) and keepingg a few training treats with you when you eat - every few seconds toss one onto the mat.

If the dog only ever gets food from the mat and never manages to steal from your plate, they will wait on the mat. Over time the frequency of treat tosses can be dropped.

New reward: food treats only given on a mat, away from you.

Or get a baby gate and shut him out the room during dinner time

Thanks for all the input and suggestions so far. DH is aware of this thread so will read all your replies and hopefully take note. I'm glad that like me you all believe that some application on his part can fix all this. I was just really upset that he doesn't seem prepared to take responsibility and accept that dogs need to be trained by their owners. I did most of the "housetraining" with our 5 now adult daughters and think that it's the least he can do to sort out one small dog!

I'd echo the comment above that training the dog will be easier than training your husband.

My rescue lab nearly pulled me off my feet when we first had him. I used a flat collar and a halti lead (not the head harness, just the lead as it is cloth and comfortable to hold). I gave him just sufficient slack that would enable him to walk next to me with the lead loose. They absolute key is to treat the lead like an on / off switch. If the dog creates tension, you stop until the lead goes loose. If you feel him about to lunge / pull, give it a gentle jerk, but release it to be slack. Keep changing direction too as this will keep him attentive to where you are going. Try not to let the lead become taught. It should always be loose. Start in the house, then go to the garden, then progress from there. Dogs are not context sensitive so a new area means the process starts again until you have been in sufficient new areas that the dog starts to get the idea that it is expected behaviour everywhere.

On days where you don't have time for this (it is time consuming, in the early days of mine, it would take an hour to do a few hundred yards), get a different lead, and swap it. I used a harness. In this way, you don't undo the training you have done as you are almost giving the dog permission to pull on the second configuration. Sounds weird, but it works.

Food stealing, you have to remove access to it, and spend some time conditioning a 'no' command in controlled circumstances to get him to drop the behaviour without it being a rela situation.

Repetition is the key. It takes time.

All the issues are trainable but some are pretty hard and time consuming to train. Suggest you get a 121 trainer in to help you DH and get him on the right track.

Being an experienced dog owner does not mean you never need to ask for help. Dog Professionals will often get in other trainers to help them.

Lead walking and Spaniels is hard and will take time.

I would never leave food on the side unattended with my labs and wcs. Collies yes but the others may, even though well trained have a crafty nibble if the cake was just left in front of them.

As others have said to teach bed whilst you are eating is extremely easier and probably get results really quickly.

I have a degree of sympathy for your DH but loads for you. It can be done but the training will take time.