Broken

[rockingbird]

We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog yesterday, the most beautiful girl. She had heart failure and was getting increasingly worse. Bad days outweighed the good days and she was struggling to just go for a walk. I know I did the right thing and she's no longer in pain but my god I'm broken. I clearly hadn't anticipated the grief I'd be feeling. The children were collected from school and we went straight to the vets, they were aware how poorly she'd become and said goodbye and thanked her for being such a loyal family member. I held her in my arms as she was pts. I haven't been able to stop crying since! I woke in the night crying and was sick, managed to get back to sleep but I'm up again in tears 😭 she's no longer at the end of my bed, the house feels empty without her. I know it was the kindest thing to do but it hurts so bad. I'm dreading the children being up and the dog not here to greet them.

I am so sorry for your loss. The grief of losing a pet is phenomenal and it’s raw right now. Let yourself feel it and give yourself time. You did the right thing.

Sending all love to you & your family.

Our old boy was put to sleep 3 weeks ago today (he was 12 & had a recurrence of bastard cancer). It may be the final act of kindness we do for our pets, but it doesn’t make the pain any less.

His stinky cheese-y biscuit feet will always have left footprints on our hearts, just as your beautiful girl has on yours. Big, very unmumsnetty hugs xx

Our girl died last July, peacefully after a good life. I remember a day or two later having to lie face down on the bedroom carpet because I thought I was going to die too, I cried so hard I was in physical pain. Over the next year it gradually receded - every so often it would slap me in the face again when something reminded me of the empty space in the family. But it slowly calmed and turned to fond memories rather than abject misery.

We got a puppy 4 weeks ago and still miss her. And when we got her in 2015 I still missed my dog before her who died in 2007. But the puppy makes it better when I miss the old ones and I can get to the point I remember them fondly (though I am crying writing this post!)

Thank you for your kind words, I'm so sorry you e also been through this heartache. 😢

I’ve done it more times than I can count (I have and always have had a lot of dogs) and it never, ever gets any easier. Dogs are family and so reliant on us. Losing them is always heartbreakingly awful. I still cry about dogs I lost 20 years ago. But, it’s the final act of kindness we can give them, after a lifetime of love and happiness. You will grieve of course, but, in time, you will remember all the love and the laughs and the good times and you will smile. She was loved and she knew it, I’m certain of that. I also believe (even though I am not remotely religious) that when I die, if you do “go” somewhere else, all my dogs will be there to meet me. What a day that will be 🥰🥰🥰 Big hugs op xxx

Its horrendous isn't it? Even if you know that the decision was the right one.

Sorry for your loss 💐.

I'm so sorry. Our beloved collie was put to sleep just before her 16th birthday, until two days before she was absolutely fine. I know how much it hurts, it still does. Sending lots of love xx

I have just got into bed with my darling Max for the last time as his seizures cannot be controlled any longer and I feel as if my heart is breaking. The tears just wont stop and I feel a physical pain in my chest...he is snuggled up after a favourite biscuit with no idea this is the last time.His trusting brown eyes are killing me so I feel for you and anyone who has gone through this.

I'm so sorry @nicslackey1 it really is such awful heartbreak. I've taken the week off work, my dc is still off school. I'm so incredibly overwhelmed with grief and it hurts so much. 😞

I'm so so sorry😭
My deepest heartfelt sympathy to you, unfortunately I do know the pain you're suffering. And I know it never ever really goes away, you just have to try and carry on, it's agony I know xxxxxx

We’ve been there as well. 🥺Its so tough!

We miss her so much but just remind yourself what a lovely life your doggy had because of you and your family!

💕Sending you lots lots hugs! 💕

It’s absolutely awful, I can empathise OP. When we had our wonderful dog PTS, I couldn’t bear being at home, I missed the routine of caring for him. It will get easier but it takes a lot of time, take it easy and just get through each day the best you can. So sorry for your loss OP

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy > With one of my boys I smelt his paws before he was pts 😔@rockingbird > It's a grief that's different, and can be overwhelming, but you've done what's right; and eventually you will remember without the pain. People who've been through this do understand xx

@nicslackey1 > You know you're doing the right thing for him, awful as it is. I sometimes wonder why we have dogs when they can rip your heart out. But thank God for some animals to have such loving owners. Paw hold for you too xx

It's a week today and I've woken up with a thud in my heart. I miss her paws clip clopping around behind me as she follows me round the house 😢 I miss her snoring on the bed at my feet - even though she was a big old lump. The kids are with their dad this weekend so it's going to be super hard.. he's not been supportive at all which I'm very angry about. We'd discussed this over and over and he knew it was coming, left it all to me and did even check in to see how the DC were afterwards let alone me. Not sure how I'm going to face him today - heartless, selfish twat.

@rockingbird still very early days OP, don’t be hard on yourself. Of course, you miss her. The feelings will get less raw in time.

Dogs are often better than men.
Sorry for your loss.
When my dog passed away when I couldn’t see his little face at the end of my bed and smell his stinky farts or see him spilling his food everywhere (he was the best dog and so loved but he was messy and stinky 😊) this broke my heart.
I got a new dog very quickly - I understand this is very controversial (no one tell me off!) and everyone needs to heal differently but not seeing his little face and waggly tail when I got home was hard every day. Someone said it a proof how much you loved him if you miss all that and have to have it back. It’s not replacing them but all the love you have needs to go somewhere 💐

I am so, so sorry OP. My first boy was PTS 9 years ago this December - I miss him so much. He was mine and DH’s third amigo - he came everywhere with us. He knew how I was feeling and was always there for me. A piece of my heart died with him that day. I have a new dog now - he won’t ever be a replacement but he has allowed us to make new memories. You will always have those special memories of her and she will always be in your hearts. So sorry for your loss xx