Rehoming nightmare

[arunciblespoon]

My mum went into a nursing home almost a year ago, about a month later their dog died and my dad was suddenly alone and really struggled with it.

He said he'd never get another dog. After a few months we both mentioned the possibility of him getting an older rescue for company and to take to the nursing home. I offered to go with him and advised him to not rush into it and wait until he found the right dog for his circumstances, even if it was a bit further afield.

He found a dog online through a reputable rescue and fell in love. Everything about the dog screamed incompatibility with him, his lifestyle, and his ability to give the dog what it needed.

The dog is a crossbreed, likely boxer with maybe bully mix. He's huge, is as strong as an ox, a jumping escape artist, had been in the rescue > 1 year and is around 2 years old. He'd been rehomed twice and returned due to destructive behaviour based on separation anxiety.

On paper it was a disaster. I explained my concerns to him - that's without him meeting the dog at that point - but he was blinkered and determined to go ahead.

My dad is mid 70s and has had a stroke, he also suffers with vertigo and low blood pressure issues making him susceptible to dizziness and falls. He's currently waiting for a biopsy about another health concern. Additionally, he visits my mum every day in the home and is out the house at least 3 times a week for a few hours at various commitments and that's before he has to go out for shopping/appointments etc.

Over about 4 months my dad visited the dog a few times a week and the rescue was working on the dog for him to be able to go home with my dad. My dad lives an hour from the rescue and the dog "wasn't good in cars" so they had to train him to be able to travel. They started with trips for a couple of hours at my dads and built it up, although the dog was on tranquilizers and on them for the first few days when he moved down permanently.

Now we're at the point where the dog is at my dads and has been for almost 2 months and there are issues. The dog is not toilet trained so toilets in the house, he has been destructive, he jumps up on worktops/windowsills, he can clear the 6ft garden fence and has escaped a couple of times and ran around neighbours gardens/in their houses.

The dog is very stubborn and when refuses to do something doesn't do it, i.e. getting in the car. He slipped his collar in the nursing home and the staff tried to help but obviously the dog took it as a game as they were chasing him. My dad couldn't get the collar back on but they caught him with the lead but he refused to get in the car. My dad snapped and grabbed the dog to lift him into the car, the dog unsurprisingly turned round and bit him and scratched him.

After 2 days of being unable to get the collar back on him, my dad had to phone the rescue to come down to put the collar back on him.

So now we're here where my brother called me advising never to let my children near the dog because he doesn't trust the dog. He was singing the dogs praises at first and is a big dog lover. He's had to come and stay over to watch the dog when my dad needed to go to a hospital appointment. If they go to the shops they have to tag team with 1 staying in the car with the dog while the other goes in to the shop.

My brother called the rescue behind my dad's back to discuss with them and raise it as a safeguarding issue but the operator said they can't discuss with him due to GDPR. She did say she'd pass it onto the rescue centre who did call back and leave a message but the message re-iterated the GDPR issue so they wouldn't be able to discuss the particulars.

My dad has refused to see there are any issues. There are so many problems with this I could go on but I've written enough.

My first thought was what on earth were this rescue thinking rehoming a dog who obviously needs an experienced handler to someone like my dad?!?

Does anyone have any advice on what we should do now we're here?

that is appalling behaviour of the rescue home
can you find a different dog more suitable and talk to your dad?

Not sure how old the dog is, but your father is the 3rd, possibly 4th home this dog has had and he is not a fit. In Scotland I would be relinquishing him to the SSPCA, - I am not sure if the RSPCA works in quite the same way, but maybe try talking to Dogs Trust

This may sound harsh, but I would think about talking to the vet about letting him go. It does not sound like the various homes he has had have effectively met his needs.

My dad point blank refuses to see any issues and says he's the right person for the dog. He will never relinquish the dog of his own accord.

I've just spoken to him and my mum told him yesterday not to bring the dog to the home anymore. He said he doesn't know why. The dog is scary looking, huge and strong. A nursing home is not the place for a dog like that, especially one that cannot be kept under control if he decides to do his own thing. He's friendly enough and okay with other dogs but I don't trust him. Plus he can't be controlled should things go wrong.

This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Given that the dog is escaping a fenced garden and is getting into neighbouring houses and gardens, I wonder if this could be a police/RSPCA matter, as in, would they intervene and remove the dog as it is incontrollable and likely to cause injury or worse? Is it worth speaking to both agencies for advice?

I feel for your dad as he's clearly desperate for company and after all this time visiting the dog has bonded with him. I'm sure it is a lovely dog even if looks big & scary but is clearly very anxious about the world and missed out on training/socialisation. This rescue are appalling and failed both your dad & the dog in this obvious disasterous match. Though I have met an elderly couple homed a big young, shepherd mix from a romanian rescue, absolutely lovely dog but far to active and exhuberant for owner who struggles walking. It's not really the size as greyhounds can be a fabulous match for less able but at minimum need a calm, steady dog, low energy dog thats easy on lead.

Your dad's probably feeling attacked from all sides and wanting to protect his buddy, He won't want to admit struggling or you being right early on and likely worried about dogs future going back to that rescue . Maybe try reframing it to what the dog needs in life and how dad isn't able to meet those needs where another home could and your dad has given him a head start experiencing home life.

You could also point out that he's putting the dog at risk of coming under lifelong control order to be kept on lead/muzzled in public or being taken by police under dangerous dogs act with it frequently running loose and potentially biting again when frightened and cornered probably someone trying to recapture him.
Does your dad have funds to afford a dog walker in meantime to help reduce excess energy and possibly do some training with him.

Usually sign adoption contract to return to rescue but perhaps can find another that will take him given that rescue seem to want to offload to anyone or help find an alternative adopters, it will probably take time as rescue situation is dire currently.

Some rescues dismiss older adopters without considering individual circumstances like other rescues do, so it maybe he feared this was last chance of having a dog if rejected few times before this one. In reality there will be many more suitable homeless dogs out there for him.

The dog law ----info maybe helpful so hopefully he won't need to make use of the solicitor.

https://doglaw.co.uk/dangerous-dogs/

I think Scatty has made some very observant points, especially about framing your concerns being around the Dog's needs not being met and your DF feeling attacked.

Does your DF have capacity? I know that one bad decision doesn't mean that your declining but it's such a odd choice for him to take on a DDog like the one he has.

I wonder if he's missing your DM and that's affecting him too? My DFIL had some Counselling arranged through the GP when DMIL moved into a home which seemed to help him make the adjustment, and it is a big adjustment. Lots of older people have never lived alone before something like this happens.

The things that would concern me the most are:

The DDog biting/attacking your DF again but this time in his home.

The DDog escaping again and biting/attacking a child

Your DF being pulled over by the DDog if the Vertigo is affecting him and having a nasty fall that necessitates a stay in Hospital.

The rescue has had this dog for a year. They haven't established recall or basic manners or resolved the SA. Any dog that bites when being caught hold of is a dog that needs either work or a warning sign. This is a dog that needs either a very experienced foster placement or a very experienced (and fit) new owner. The rescue has some responsibility here.

If I was your DF's neighbour and a large boxer cross with a bite history jumped into my garden, I'd put up it with it the first few times but would get pissed off pretty quickly. As @ScattyHattie said, a control order is a possibility. It's not something I'd wish on any dog or owner but an out of control dog can cause bedlam in a neighbourhood.

It might be a good idea to discuss with your DF the legal ramifications. Does he have third party cover? What would happen if the dog got into a neighbour's house and got into a fight with their dog or knocked a child flying and caused an injury? Or the neighbour grabbed it and was bitten? If I or my dog was injured by a dog getting into my house I would not hesitate to ask for costs and if they were not forthcoming, sue (and I am not the litigious type).

I'm sorry you're in this situation. You need to contact the rescue, by email so that you have a record, and tell them of your concerns. That way if it anything really bad happens, they can't claim they didn't know.

Unfortunately it really does sound like your dad has been taken advantage of here; a rescue with a dog no one wants, overflowing kennels, and all of a sudden someone comes along and says they'll take the dog. They are just pleased to see the back of the dog.

If they had been even slightly sensible about it they'd have found him a 10 year old bichon frise whose owner had died, and it would have been a match made in heaven. But they didn't.

I don't know what else to add on top of the above, but shame on the rescue for taking advantage of an elderly man who has overestimated his strength and underestimated his years.

That is NOT a reputable rescue. I'm a foster for a reputable one and there is no way on earth we'd rehome a dog like that to your dad.

God lord it makes me so angry.

If they have a shred of professionalism they will take the dog back.

Thanks for the replies.

I just don't know what to do and at the moment I'm sticking my head in the sand.

What can I actually do here?? I've spoken to him a few times before he got the dog but now it's here I've even less chance of getting through to him.

I honestly don't know when me or my children will see him now as he can't leave the dog and we can't be around the dog.

I'm at a loss.

I think as said before take the line of what is best for the dog and explain re the visiting and stick with it .Can your brother say the same
It's shocking that he was able to adopt this dog
Good luck I don't envy you this task

I think the rescue are being disingenuous here. GDPR is not meant to be applied like this.

You need to speak to them again and say this is a welfare case and that the dog is being put in dangerous situations given its known history and behaviour.

Any decent rescue would follow this up with the adopter and offer if not strongly suggest to your dad that the dog is returned.

There is a private Facebook group called m.facebook.com/groups/958901227496699/?ref=share Animal Related Warnings and Discussion which is full of people who work in rescue who will be able to give you specific advise.

You can post anonymously

I agree that the rescue is being disingenuous. My brother said specifically on the call he was calling because it was a safe guarding issue but still got nowhere. He's going to call them again today as hasn't yet been able to speak them properly.

I wonder if I should suggest that we all, including the rescue, sit down together and talk it through.

I will have a look at that FB page thank you.

I will also think further on how best to broach it with my Dad. I have stayed out of it until now because I tried previously and he took no heed. It's only now that my brother has raised concerns because he has witnessed some of it that I know it must be serious.

It does not sound like a reputable rescue at all. Your dad is clearly not the right home for the dog

GDPR my backside. That's absolutely rubbish and I'd say call them back and ask them which particular article of GDPR they think applies here.
You need to force them to take this seriously as they've clearly removed a very unsuitable dog. This dog needs a lot of care and rehab and your poor Dad just wanted a companion. I'd suggest you call them back and tell them you'll report them to the charities commission if they don't engage with your family on this matter.
Hope you can get them to provide better support

they should surely have a Duty of care to the dog and your dad.

Had an update from my brother who spoke to the manager of the rescue.

They've said there's nothing they can do as my dad is now the legal owner and he will need to ask for help or assistance himself.

I'll need to get some time to sit down with my Dad to discuss it.

Put in a complaint to the rescue. Often that's the quickest way to get a response from an organisation

They do surprise me. Normal practice in the contract is for there to be a clause in there allowing them to take back a dog if there are welfare issues.

I know one person who has their rescue dog taken back by a rather overzealous rescue on some rather flimsy concerns.

But then, that was 2021, dogs were in high demand and the dog in question was readily rehomable. This is 2023, supply is outstripping demand, and they don't want a dog that they couldn't shift before.

If you can find a copy of the paperwork, have a read.

This is appalling. If they are a registered charity check their details as there should be a chair for thr trustees and complain to them

I have rehomed two dogs and three cats from a range of big and small rescues and all have had an adoption contract where the rescue can take the dog back.

I am sorry, what a horrible situation for all of you. An alternative is to engage the help of a good, reward based trainer for a lot of input with your dad. A dog like that can be turned around with good support and training. If your dad is adamant he wants to keep the dog then this is what needs to be put in place.