Velcro Whipper

[HellHound]

Our gorgeous pup is nearly 6 months, but is very clingy.

DH works from home, and we have 3 dc, I'm a mature student so have been off for the summer.

She didn't settle when we went away for a short break, to the point my sister wasn't able to work from home.

I had a stroke in June (I'm recovering fine) and spent a lot of time in bed, and whilst she was walked/trained by DH, but she spent a lot of her time curled up with me.

Last night I took the kids the cinema, DH was home, and she was howling, then cried herself to sleep. She then awoke and started frantically searching the house and howling again...until we got home. DH couldn't distract or console her. He was a miffed that he wasn't enough!

Any good resources for getting her more independent? I go back to Uni in few weeks, and she won't be on her own, but I need her to be less focused on me!

The title should say Velco whippet! And we've had lots of lurchers previously, and none have been this extreme!

Does she ever spend time alone in the house? Even if you're around, is she capable of sitting on her own for any period of time?

She wanders amongst all 5 of us, and hates being on her own. I've never known such a needy dog!

I'm hoping when the DC are back in school tomorrow, I can start re training her, she has a crate that she used to love, so might revisit that first. She can easily open some doors! I think I'll start from very basic 5 mins alone, and return without a fuss and build from there.

Any suggestions?

All you can do is work on building her confidence and independence.

You may find that, at first, even five minutes is too much for her. Our beagle can be anxious when left and we had to start by leaving him for 5 seconds at first and slowly building up from there.

If she shows signs of distress then it's already too long and you need to go back a stage.

I think that's good advice. It's going to need a lot of work...but she'll get the long term benefits. With me being sick and not leaving the house, she has never really had to deal with separation.

Right, big girl pants on!

Good luck! It is possible - when he was a puppy, our beagle used to sound like he was being tortured if we so much as left the room without him - he's now five and while he doesn't like being left, he can cope without becoming distressed or destructive.

He does need a good walk first and I always leave him with something to keep him occupied, but he is okay on his own now (we have cats so he's never completely by himself). It just took a lot of work lol.

I think you'll need to start with seconds, not minutes unfortunately.
We have a whippet x who follows me around much of the time. We built up time leaving him alone - started by walking to the end of the drive and back, then a bit further each time. Felt like it was never going to happen but now he's fine on his own for a few hours.
It's hard work, but you'll get there!

Have a look at the dog training advice and support Facebook group for some good games to play. 6 months is a baby and still very much in need of company. The Julie Naismith resources are also good.

Our pup only started to grow in confidence at about 8 months and was choosing to be away from us. We did lots of confidence games, do it myself, flitting etc which for her really helped. She is a terrier and more FOMO than anxious so that taught her that we were BORING.

We started leaving ours at around 9 months and quickly got up to over an hour but then adolescence hit hard and we’ve had to go back to building a decent level of confidence. At 12 months we’re building time again but more slowly. We rushed it the first time.

The main thing is if they get anxious then it just reinforces you not being there is scary. You need to stop as much as you can leaving her to worry whilst you work on building confidence generally and then with you not around. Sleeping with you really helps them too.

I’ve trained a lot of things in my time as a dog slave but alone training a puppy is the most boring and tedious. But it’s worth it in the end.

When our pup was tiny, as OH WFH she was with him 24/7. She quickly got used to me coming and going for work but she really struggled with him. He used to go out for a bit every afternoon when I got home and I’d take her off and have a game to distract her and show her I was fun too. Now she’s fine and has been for a while. I went back to work (school) after 8 weeks of being with her pretty much solidly and she was fine. I was a bit upset she didn’t struggle tbh 😂

6 months is still very young, so don't feel hopeless about this!

Update! I've started off slowly today....she got frantic when I went to the flipping bin, which was in front of the house!

So, cue me like an idiot going out the front door, closing it behind me, walking to the end of the path, waiting 30 seconds before going in and ignoring her (to avoid rewarding over excited behaviour...nothing to see here!) Rinse and repeat 20 odd times over the day until she got bored...I'll have another crack later...I'm too hot and bothered right now and the neighbour just asked if I'm okay 😂

Brilliant update!

You need to go so much more slowly. If she is distressed she won’t get bored. She’ll get much more distressed.

I didn’t bother doing anything with ours until she was choosing to take herself away for large periods of time. I did do a lot of flitting and confidence games though and desensitisation to the door to make it boring.

I think you are moving too fast. Gave you had a look at any of the resources we suggested? Julie Naismith has a good book.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction#:~:text=Set%20your%20timer%20on%20your,flit%20again.

Good info here.

Thanks Newpeep, I've had a read around desensitisation which is why I started like this. She's not actually even alone! DH is in her line of sight!

I had another quick session, (3 or 4 times)but I hardly got a reaction!

When I went to pick DD up from dance, DH comment that she was so much calmer that he didn't realise I'd nipped out. Don't worry a she's been walked 3 times, and lots of cuddles as she thinks she's a cat!

Tomorrow I'll start at 30 seconds again, then increase it slowly.