Am I being cruel?

[Garlicbreadisonfire]

Hi Mumsnetters,

Looking for some opinions on my current situation with DDog, she's 13 now.

She has struggled with mobility for a few years now, terrible arthritis in her back legs and she is unable to climb the stairs / sofa / bed - it was also suggested by my Vets she is no longer walked as that could do more damage than good. Her back legs are completely sunken and she does slip a lot even strolling around. She has access to our large Garden all day.

Her incontinence started around 6 Months ago, firstly Number.2's but only overnight. Now it's both Wee & Poo multiple times a day, it quite literally comes out when she walks, sits down, etc.. she is still eating and drinking but spends the entire day laid down and sleeping.

A huge part of my day is now spent cleaning and scrubbing the toilet mess, I also have 2 toddlers at home.

I really don't know whether I should be considering PTS or is that cruel considering she still potters around? I honestly don't know what to do! Have spoken to our Vets multiple times and they just suggest I continue with the current situation 

Oh no OP so sorry...

First, please take the word "cruel" out of your vocabulary, it's very obvious that you love this dog and care for her wellbeing tremendously.

I was in your situation not a long time ago, and I wish I had made the decision a bit earlier.
On the other hand I never heard of anyone who has regrets of PTS too soon.
When you start asking those questions, you just know it is time.

Letting her go is the best you can do for her.

I’m reaching a similar stage with my old spaniel. He’s still continent at the moment but struggling with stairs and getting onto the bed and sofa. He’s also on a hefty combination of pain relief and sleeps a lot.

The vet has given me a quality of life chart to complete a couple of times a week to keep an eye on him. Looking at what you’ve said about your dog and comparing it to the chart I’d personally PTS now. Easy for me to say I know and I’ll be having precisely your conversations in my own head soon.

I really feel for you 💐

My elderly dad had his elderly lab pts for this reason. He just couldn't cope.

Better a day too soon than an hour too late. Her quality of life sounds minimal which means it's probably time.

I'm so sorry.

She’s tired, in pain and very well loved. She relies on you to make the best decision for her, and roles reversed, I’m sure you’d rather drift gently to sleep in someone you loved arms than wait and suffer.

I let my first cat go on too long and should have taken action. Perhaps I was too hasty with the second but the treatment suggested would have destroyed her mentally.

You know your dog and what is best for her and your family. Don’t be hard on yourself whatever decision you make will be with the best intentions

Thank you all so much for the lovely, thoughtful replies ❤️ I've just had a long conversation with DH and DM and asked them to be truthful, think they were too worried to upset me by approaching the subject themselves but I was comforted to hear they also don't believe it's cruel to consider PTS. I'm currently on hold to her vets for a chat

We have an oldie too. 14 years old, on heart meds and a monthly injection for osteoarthritis. My vet gave me some advice for making the decision. Pick 5 things your dog loves to do. As they stop doing those things you'll know it's time. Also the last day doesn't have to be the worst day. Cuddles, love, favourite foods and treats before that final goodbye. Your dog has had a long life filled with happiness and love. You have nothing to reproach yourself for.

I'm very sorry for you, and this is the hardest decision, but it is time to let your dear friend go. This is the deal with pets, you give them a good life and when the time comes, you give them a painless and dignified death. I know it's painful and sad, but this is really the time to be strong and brave. You have my heartfelt sympathies.

Such a hard thing

I'm so sorry its heartbreaking 💔

Your dog hasn't got much of a life - she can't go for walks, play or even walk about. She's lost the use of her legs, bladder and bowels. Please do the kindest thing and have her PTS. Honestly, she's not happy.

@ I know it's heart breaking, but you're doing the right thing. Poor old love has lost any quality of life. I hope your vet is coming out to your house. Lots of love & treats and a snooze into a pain free life with lots of playmates & pain free youth! Think of the joy & happiness not of your pain. Much love xx

Please do the right thing & put him to sleep. Feed him lots of treats, cuddle him. Our spaniel fell asleep eating steak last week. He lived a long time with kidney failure & a herniated bowel but he became incontinent over the last few days & it was the kindest thing to let him go. Dd1 carried him into the vet to have the valve inserted into his leg & she fussed over him so he didn't even notice.
Then we brought him back to the car boot where we were all cuddling him as she injected the solution. He didn't need a sedative first. The poor vet had 4 lots of tears landing on her head as she injected 😢

I agree with this

My Sweet Girl went to sleep today, thank you all for your comments and comfort 💔

Ah I'm so sorry you will always miss her take care .

I'm so sorry @Garlicbreadisonfire , that must have been so difficult for you. You have my very deepest sympathies

Sorry to hear about your lovely girl, you will be able to find joy in your memories of her in time ❤️

I’m so sorry, 💐💐💐

You did the right thing. It's hard being brave and making the decision but we owe it to our animals.

Hugs to you, hold the good memories close to your heart.

I'm so very sorry @Garlicbreadisonfire - you must be heartbroken 💔

When dogs get to the point of not being able to do all the doggy things that make their lives enjoyable, it's the right time. I'm sure she had a lovely life with her loving family and now you have absolutely done the kindest thing for her.

Apologies for resurrecting an old thread but I could have written this word for word and was searching this topic to see if anyone else had faced a similar situation so I could take some comfort for making an awful
Decision

We are facing exactly the same dilemma for our Ddog ages 13

He is exhibiting all the same issues.

I just am struggling to make the actual decision even though i probably know it is time

He is very arthritic, starting to soil himself in the house and although he would follow me until his last breath (loyal Labrador) he sleeps most of the day.

Hi @Whitegrenache So sorry to hear you're going through the same thing, it really is the worst 💔
It's been a few weeks now since my Darling girl was PTS, but as much as it hurt (and still does) it was the best decision for Everyone. I miss her everyday but also feel terribly sad there was very little of 'herself' left in this final weeks. I'm so thankful for the replies to my thread for making me realise she had very little quality of life left at all. Sending Love

Ah thanks for replying.

We have booked our wonderful vet to come to the house on Sunday. So we will
Give him a lovely week up until then. We had our other DDog and our Dhorse PTS this time last year so it's not the first time we have done this.

It's just such an awful decision.

Zac has been with us for 13 years since an 8week puppy and has grown up with my kids on a farm so has had the best of lives