Reactive to selective dog - where to go next??

[splothersdog]

This might be a long one!
We have a three year old cockerpoo who we got in Feb 2020 not knowing we would be heading in to lockdown.
She is great with people but we live in a village where anxiety about Covid was very high and seemed to last a long time. We know that our dog didn't get the chance to socialise with other dogs and as a result was very reactive when the world started to open up again.
There was one other dog in a family bubble and she has a great relationship with him.
We have worked very hard on this reactivity. We worked with a trainer and have been using clickers and treats when out and about, working on walking past other dogs quietly.
I feel we have got to the point where she is now selective rather than reactive. As yet I am struggling to pin point what it is about some dogs that sets her off. She definitely struggles with small white dogs and border collies though!
Today on a walk two off lead dogs who were very calm approached her and she has a really positive 'normal' reaction. I have also noticed that she although she may bark at another dog, if we are able to stand some distance from them and she will calm down and look with interest. It really feels like she doesn't quite know what to do!
Recently we have been in a vets waiting room with multiple dogs and she was fine.
Someone suggested to me that we try her going to doggy day care once a week,I haven't used this as our work situation means that there is no need - combination of working from home and teenagers college etc but would be willing to give it a go. We have used it in the past for other dogs and I know of a really experienced one nearby.
However I am concerned that it might just be too overwhelming for her.
Really looking for advice.

I also have a selectively reactive dog, who was only 6 months old at first lockdown.
I'm understanding his signals a lot better and can anticipate and avoid his reaction to certain dog types or situations and as a result I think he is feeling a lot more confident overall (as am I) and so his reactivity declines.
I've changed my understanding and have accepted that he does not wish to interact with other dogs or strange humans and indeed is uncomfortable with small children. He will never be bombproof like my previous dogs so I think the key to him being happier is working on MY skills in reading the situation and his body language and being a better owner for him.
I think putting a reactive dog into doggy daycare would be a nightmare for her and very risky.

Thank you. I think that makes a lot of sense. That was my gut feeling about day care too.

I do feel at times she really wants to interact with some dogs but just doesn't quite know how. I suppose I worried I was denying her the opportunity to interact with other dogs

Like you we have had very sociable'bombproof' dogs in the past. So it is a real adjustment. And definitely I know my own anxiety about how she might reactive can rub off on her.
We have also used a thunder shirt recently in high stress situations which seemed to help and we are religious about not going out unless armed with treats and a clicker

Doggy daycare might be a bit overwhelming for her but could you try going to a class where there would be other dogs but the situation is managed and there is a focus, for example agility, hoopers, scent work classes etc.

In these situations dogs aren’t usually encouraged to approach other dogs so it might enable her to be around other dogs at a distance, with a clear focus too. But it also gives the opportunity for her to meet a range of dogs in a controlled way and that might lead to other social opportunities if you wanted.

I do agility with our fairly reactive JRT and as long as it is managed correctly she is able to access group classes and competitions. We have also been to specific ‘reactive sports dogs’ training sessions which have helped too.

I can’t think of anything worse than daycare for a reactive dog. Please don’t do that. Especially if you think your dog has barrier frustration (wanting to interact but can’t) putting them in a situation where they can interact with every dog (ie daycare) will make things even harder and more confusing for them when out on a lead walk.
There is probably some real subtleties to the body language of the dogs that you can’t see which is causing the reaction to some and not others
It does sound like you’re doing really well, and I’d just carry on doing what you’re doing, and sadly maybe accepting that you don’t have a pub/come everywhere dog

I am relieved that other people feel as I do about day care. Was starting to doubt my own judgement.
We will keep going as we are I think. She is wonderful dog in so many ways. Loyal and loving. Can't lie that I would love her to be able to interact freely with other dogs but wiling to accept that probably won't happen.

For me once I accepted that he's not a playful dog-friendly dog, I was able to get over it very quickly and can see that it was really more about me wanting the cute funny playing scenes, a laugh with other owners and entertainment for me effectively rather than being about what makes MY dog happy & secure.
He's just not that fussed by other dogs, they're often annoying or even threatening so he'd rather be left alone. Same with people, if it's not his family, he couldn't care less about strangers whistling to him or holding out their hands. Which is a relief!
I get my satisfaction now from knowing he is well trained, for me understanding and anticipating his feelings and reactions, and for creating walks and experiences for him that suit HIM and not some doggy stereotype.
So it's much more about training me than him, and really understanding why I wanted a dog and what I get out of it.
I'm also more confident around creating situations where he feels comfortable. So he will come to the pub and sit under the table if he has his mat, there's not people and other dogs suddenly invading his space, and he has the occasional treat. I don't push his boundaries and we trust each other.

Collies can set non reactive dogs on edge, it's the intense stare and their body language is different, so she. may never relax around collies.

My dog isn't reactive but she doesn't like other dogs and doesn't interact, she will just act like they don't exist, dogs don't have to like and interact with others, being dog neutral is what I aim for with mine.

Honestly if she ignored them I would be delighted. It's the barking that is so hard to deal with.
My ideal would be for her to comfortable around other dogs not necessarily play with them.
Will keeping working at it.

Mine is selectively reactive (and at one point was VERY reactive!) to dogs and to some humans.
But.. we have just come back from a week camping. I was dreading it ..we are a rally group and lots have dogs. She coped brilliantly for 4 days and then got a bit grumpier and tired and was ecstatic to see her own front door tonight.
But what I DID realise , walking her , was that nearly all the other dogs had their quirks. Some were far more reactive, and barked their heads off at others. Some would tolerate a quick hello. Only a very few were genuinely dog friendly to all.
I used to be very anxious about her.. would she kick off?
But now I have accepted that she is who she is, we manage behaviour and the calmer I am about it, the calmer she is. We have used the CARE protocol with her, but actually time, and maturity (she's 4 now) have really helped.
She's nevr going to love other dogs but she tolerates them much better...and we will keep working on that, while respecting her boundaries.

She still dislikes hats, sunglasses and teenagers in dark hoodies but you can't win them all..

sometimes reactivity can be a sign of being in pain and a dog being in protective mode. Dogs sometimes react to an individual dogs way of behaving and interpret some as being a threat (think body language etc). This was what was recently diagnosed with our dog who was selectively reactive. Turns out he has hip displacia which has slowly been getting worse, hence the behaviour. So we are now trialling medication and we have found a difference in him.

if it’s unlikely to be something like that, your vet can make a referral to a behaviourist and you can claim on your insurance.

Has recently had a full MOT at the vets so don't think it is that.

This week has been mixed but this we are having more good walks that bad.
And today she managed to walk past a neighbours dog who she normally barks crazily at with just a small whimper.

It's a work in progress!

We also have a selectively reactive cockapoo only it’s generally larger dogs. Overall he’s not a massively dog friendly dog apart from other spaniels and cockapoos (he’s def a people dog!) but there are some dogs he will just snap and growl at with no provocation (they’re all bigger) and some he will snap at if they get too much into his personal space (esp if they sniff round his bits too much).

We try and deal with it by rewarding him for sitting ignoring dogs rather than reacting and he’s def a lot better (but there’s still a few specific dog I have to grab him if we see them).

Have we got the same dog??

😂 they’re funny how similar they can be

OMG!! We have just got back from a walk and we managed to walk past 8 (!!) dogs without barking. One was off lead and practically ran by her.
Each time she looked at me for reassurance and waited for her treat!!
Could all go tits up tomorrow but I am taking this as a win!!