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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dog is aggressive with one family member

36 replies

Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 20:03

I have a large rescue dog (American bulldog type) and she is usually lovely and friendly towards everyone, including other dogs.

However when introduced for the first time to my sister at our parents house a few years ago, my dog kept barking at her. When sister fed the dog some treats in an effort to make friends, my dog just quickly ate them before resuming the same barking.

Then when we were all sitting in the lounge together watching tv, my dog kept standing up kind of stiff and looking over at my sister who was on another sofa, and barking some more. My sister was uncomfortable with it so I put the dog on a lead next to me. I tried to shush her but she still barked, so I put her upstairs for a bit.

Later on that evening dog was downstairs again sitting at my feet, under the dining room table. My sister walked through the room and my dog got up and ran toward her. My sister ran away shouting some horrible stuff about my dog, and slammed the door behind her.

I think the shouting upset my dog so I comforted her a bit and she settled down peacefully again.

Since then my sister has refused to be around my dog, because she is scared of her. It has made short notice family meetups quite difficult as we have to coordinate visits ahead of time with a dog sitter. This barking stuff happened years ago and my dog has never reacted that way towards anyone else since. So I'm not sure what to do, if anything. Any advice?

OP posts:
CoffeeRevelsForever · 30/07/2023 20:09

You can't expect your sister to take the risk. If you have a big American bulldog, some people will be scared of it and won't want tk be near it and you can't force them. If it decides to go for her, it's capable of causing horrific damage. She's well within her rights to refuse to be near it, as is anyone else who doesn't want to be around the breed.

WeWereInParis · 30/07/2023 20:13

Since then my sister has refused to be around my dog, because she is scared of her.

I wouldn't be around an American bully that was aggressive towards me either. You can't think she's being unreasonable??

Emmamoo89 · 30/07/2023 20:16

Yabu

CrackSpackle · 30/07/2023 20:17

Sounds like your sister may physically physically someone from the dog's past who was cruel to her.

Fluffycloudsblusky · 30/07/2023 20:20

If I was you sister I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near a dog that had been reactive towards me.
I don’t blame her in the slightest.
Concerning - giving the clear signals your dog exhibited - that you sympathy is for your dog not for your sister

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 30/07/2023 20:21

Does your dsis look physically different to other family members? Glasses? Wears a hoody? Strong perfume?
Once stood on ddogs paw?
Has a whiney voice?

IngGenius · 30/07/2023 20:48

What has made you ask for advice now - years on?

Original poster
Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 20:52

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 30/07/2023 20:21

Does your dsis look physically different to other family members? Glasses? Wears a hoody? Strong perfume?
Once stood on ddogs paw?
Has a whiney voice?

No, none of those things. It was the first time she'd met my dog so never stood on her paw before or anything.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 30/07/2023 20:55

Keep your dog away from your sister in case it hurts her and you have to have it PTS.
No idea why it doesn’t like her but it doesn’t and it could be dangerous for her, she’s under no obligation to help desensitise your dog and while I generally love dogs I can see why she just wants it kept well away from her

Original poster
Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 20:55

IngGenius · 30/07/2023 20:48

What has made you ask for advice now - years on?

DM told me recently that sister brought it up and thinks my dog needs training or something. But she's only ever acted like this with her.

OP posts:
BunnyBettChettwynd · 30/07/2023 21:06

What are you wanting to achieve seeing as for many years you've found a solution to the situation?

BasiliskStare · 30/07/2023 21:11

I love dogs , but a big dog like yours ( and I know they have had bad press recently ) It only takes one person they do not like. Has your sister read some reports and now bringing it up or have you ?

Original poster
Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 21:21

BunnyBettChettwynd · 30/07/2023 21:06

What are you wanting to achieve seeing as for many years you've found a solution to the situation?

Recently my sister couldn't visit family because I had the dog with me, and apparently she feels put out by that and thinks I should've got dog training or a professional to reintroduce them.

OP posts:
BunnyBettChettwynd · 30/07/2023 21:25

Could you get a dog trainer to introduce them? Or perhaps muzzle your dog when your sister is around?
I would imagine that given the reaction last time you would be worried about the dog being around your sister now.

Original poster
Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 21:58

BunnyBettChettwynd · 30/07/2023 21:25

Could you get a dog trainer to introduce them? Or perhaps muzzle your dog when your sister is around?
I would imagine that given the reaction last time you would be worried about the dog being around your sister now.

I don't want to muzzle my dog the whole visit, I don't think that's fair on her. And she only barked, she's never hurt anybody.

Would a dog trainer be able to do much about a situation like this? I've never been to one before.

OP posts:
Luckypoppy · 30/07/2023 22:05

I am seriously the biggest dog lover in the world. But you are being unreasonable. You can't seriously be allowing your sister to be put in the position of missing out on family meetings because of your dog's reaction to her. I may have got this wrong, if the meetings are in your house then forgive me. But if you are taking the dog when you know your sister is justifiably scared then sorry you are unreasonable.

CoffeeRevelsForever · 30/07/2023 22:05

Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 21:58

I don't want to muzzle my dog the whole visit, I don't think that's fair on her. And she only barked, she's never hurt anybody.

Would a dog trainer be able to do much about a situation like this? I've never been to one before.

Show quote history

Why should your sister take the chance she might be first? Any dog owner who thinks their dog would never hurt anyone is irresponsible. All dogs can turn - illness, pain, trauma responses you can't predict. You have a powerful breed and it's your responsibility to make sure it can never harm anyone, not blithely assume it will be fine.

The fact that you seem to blame your sister for shouting 'horrible things' about the dog and care far more about its feelings than her (justified) fear suggests you aren't prepared to take responsibility for the dog or to understand the risks it could pose. I hope your sister stays well away from it, for her sake.

Wolfiefan · 30/07/2023 22:06

Don’t take the dog with you when visiting family. It’s unfair to exclude your sister because you won’t leave the dog behind. Of course she wants to keep away from it.

Zepherine · 30/07/2023 22:09

You are being entirely unreasonable for all the reasons stated above.

ChocHotolate · 30/07/2023 22:20

I'm surprised your family have tolerated you bringing your dog over your sister attending family events

herbygarden · 30/07/2023 22:48

YABVU. Your poor sister.

BunnyBettChettwynd · 30/07/2023 23:00

Would a dog trainer be able to do much about a situation like this? I've never been to one before.

A good dog trainer will be able to assess your dog's behaviour and control the introduction. It would definitely make you and your sister more confident and you could learn skills to use with your dog generally.

You have a big powerful dog there and I can understand your sister's concerns.

Gcsunnyside23 · 30/07/2023 23:00

Whattodoaboutdog · 30/07/2023 21:58

I don't want to muzzle my dog the whole visit, I don't think that's fair on her. And she only barked, she's never hurt anybody.

Would a dog trainer be able to do much about a situation like this? I've never been to one before.

Show quote history

YABU. The original description you gave on when they met your dog was displaying aggressive behaviour, Standing rigid, barking, ran at her! Not surprised in the slightest she's scared. You are being a very irresponsible owner to not recognise that there's a chance your dog could be aggressive and didn't seek out a dog trainer long ago. Your dog hasn't hurt anyone yet but there is always a chance with any dog.
Why don't you leave your dog at home when visiting family so your sister can go too?

Sherrystrull · 30/07/2023 23:13

When your dog ran at your sister and she ran away, was it running aggressively at her? I don't blame your sister for being scared and saying horrible things.

Maddy70 · 30/07/2023 23:36

It is a rescue. Your sister may remind it of a bad experience. It is likely though that it may hurt her. I can't blame her for being scared.

You need to get some good dog training before it's too late

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