Handhold please

[SiennaSienna]

First time puppy owner. We picked her up yesterday (female cockapoo, 9 weeks) and I’m exhausted. She wouldn’t toilet outdoors at first (one accident indoors) so tons of trips to the garden. Eventually she did pee outdoors twice in the night and even pooped after breakfast. My kids can’t help much so it’s all down to me. Good news is she seems to like the crate (we let her climb in and out with the door open at first) . Climbs in and snuggles her toy and falls asleep. Slept in it all night (with those two toilet breaks). No whimpering. I’m just so tired. Please tell me it gets better

I don’t think it’s going to get better than you’ve described for a long while , if anything it’s likely to get worse as what you’ve described is pretty excellent for a first day . Sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear .

I thought this was going to be an end of life post. Yes it gets better, in a few weeks you'll see a difference.

Give this a watch, and his video on puppy biting.
It will save you alot of stress.

Not quite sure what you expected from a puppy?! Sounds like you've had a very good first day.
I slept downstairs with our last puppy for the first few weeks (don't use crates) so I could jump up whenever he stirred (every few hours) and rush him outside.

Provided they're not so young that they will mind/be frightened by the inevitable nipping from razor sharp puppy teeth, your dcs can help by playing with the puppy to tire him out. Making sure of course that he never feels trapped or overwhelmed by them and can escape to a safe place when he's tired.

Wow, sounds like she had a good first night.
It’ll get easier, but it’ll get harder first. Keep looking forward to the 6 month mark for now.

It gets easier at 6 - 7 months and then again at 10 - 11 months in terms of you don't have to sit on them all the time, but good management is key! If they don't start doing it they won't learn to. It stays hard work for quite some time after that but they do eventually turn into dogs.

Book yourself into some good reward based classes (not just a short course) and buckle up for the ride. You have bought a potentially very intelligent and active dog there so they will help you find ways to fulfil their needs.

Get the book Easy, Peasy, Puppy Squeezy. Has everything in to get you through the first couple of months.
Everything you describe is normal puppy behaviour and you have to view her as being a toddler with regards to toilet training. She has been ripped away from mum + siblings so nothing she does is out of naughtiness.
Some pups can take up to 8 month old to be reliable toilet trained so yes you could be in for a long haul.
Not sure why you thought it would be any different to this though, they are as demanding as newborns and need a good routine same as a newborn human.

That sounds amazing for the first day, honestly.

It is tiring when they're young as they take up huge amounts of your time and energy - I wouldn't expect that part of it to get any easier for a good six months or so.

It absolutely does get better, just not yet...
our puppy is nearly 6 months and all the hard work we have put in for the last 4 months is now starting to pay off and we can see what a great dog he's going to be when he's an adult.
It does feel like it will never end but you'll soon look back and think oh good remember before they were toilet trained.. or when they are teething etc!
Hang in and all the tough times and hard work will pay back in spades.

OP as others have said, your expectations are way, way too high for this little pup. You sound incredibly naive in terms of what this is going to involve which is months of hard work. Get a good puppy book and use the puppy threads on this forum for help. Once you are more realistic about how things tend to go with puppies you hopefully will find it easier. I wish you luck.

Puppies are hard work but it does get better, it's a rollercoaster of emotions to start with and yes you will be exhausted, puppy blues are a real thing and can hit hard so be aware, but my mantra is and always has been 'everything is a phase' just some of the more hideous phases last longer than you want or need them too.

Your Puppy will also be a whole lot more tolerable is she gets enough sleep and little puppies need around 18 - 20 hours sleep, and an over tired puppy is harder to settle and quicker to bite/nip, so lots of good sleep in a crate but I still went about my day putting on the washing machine, washing up, hoovering etc so they learn to sleep through general house noise.

It's hard OP, when we got ours I was in tears daily for the first month, it took a huge toll on my mental health, and cockapoos are notoriously needy, clingy and prob won't settle down for years let alone months (I have experience with them).
I promise it will get easier because your mindset will switch and the pup will become trainable, but our cockapoo (now at rainbow bridge) was needy and clingy til the day we had to say goodbye, although in the end I can honestly say she was the most loyal and loving of any dog I have owned and I miss her terribly.
Baby animals are hard, a bit like baby humans. And they never grown up.