Broken - said goodbye on Monday

[MissingMissDaisy]

Our gorgeous girl left us on Monday. I've never known pain like it, she could light up any room and was THE best dog (I know everyone says that but seriously she was incredible). We had her for just over a decade but no amount of time would've been enough. I held her head as she was going and kept telling her I loved her and my DH held her paw, and she was wagging her tail til the end. I miss her so so much 💔💔

Since 18th April she'd had an MCT removal which then led to diabetes (needing 2x insulin injections a day), pancreatitis, and an eye ulcer which needed conjunctival flap surgery as she was at risk of a rupture on Thursday, which was to be checked again on Monday to see if the eye needed to be removed.

On Sunday she'd been sick so I took her to the out of hours who thought it might've been the start of a pancreatitis flare up as opposed to the eye, and they gave her an antiemetic and a painkiller injection which was to last 24 hours until we were seen at our normal vets the day after. She looked so relaxed in the car on the way home and actually opened her eye properly for the first time since getting the ulcer! I really thought she might've been turning a corner - I'd been really pessimistic and preparing myself at every appointment that we'd be told 'this is it' but I actually felt quite calm. Monday was the first appointment I went to not expecting it and ofc it was the day she needed to go.

We were going to say bye at home but given how often she'd been there these past couple of months, and how genuinely relaxed and happy she was with the staff, it was like a home away from home for her. She went in the back to say bye to everyone, and then came back into the room we were in where she got to have some chocolate (there was a jar that said 'no dogs should go to heaven without having tasted chocolate first), have some cuddles, and then it was time.

She should be home from the crematorium by tomorrow. In the meantime, we're going to make a planter out of her food/water bowl and have it by the front door so everyone who comes will know her name.

What I wouldn't give for just one more cuddle 💔

So sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is x

@SquirrelFeed thank you so much, I just don't know how we're supposed to adapt to this 'new' life without her. So sorry you've been through it too x

Sorry for your loss op. She was a very good special girl 💐

Oh, I'm so so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful good girl. She will have always known how treasured and loved she was. ❤️
I know how hard it is. You'll get through the pain and find yourself smiling at the lovely memories of her in time. Xx

@shiningstar2 thank you so much, she really was the best 💔💔

@eandz13 thank you so much for your lovely message ♥️ I really hope she did, she was absolutely amazing. So so sorry you've been there too but good to know one day the smiles will be back, thank you x

So sorry for your loss op. Been over 3 years since we had our girl pts. Still can't hang the photos!

I think you just have to try and take each day as it comes. Always up for a chat if you want to talk about her.

I am so very sorry 💐

What a beautiful girl and you obviously loved her very much.

She is beautiful. I'm so sorry....it must feel so silent and empty without her.

I truly feel we have a soul connection with our pets that never ends so she will always be watching over you. Be kind to yourself and get comfort that she had the happiest life with you.

@Sunnydaysaredefhere I bet it still feels like yesterday, I'm so sorry for your loss x

@Roughashouses really really appreciate it, thank you so much x

@MuttsNutts she honestly was the most incredible girl, we were so lucky to have her x

@Hillcrest2022 thank you so much - empty is exactly the right way to describe this feeling! Love the idea that she's watching ♥️ I really hope she was as happy as she made us x

We got to bring her home yesterday afternoon. We also went to a garden centre and have made her food/water bowl into a planter and put it out the front so that everyone who comes to the house will see her name, and we got a rose called 'Sweet Memories' and a plant pot that has daisies on it. Still doesn't seem real 💔

It’s truly the most hideous situation to be in, I’m 8 weeks in since losing my beautiful girl, I’m still in disbelief really it still seems impossible that she is no longer with me, she truly was the love of our life I don’t think I will truly ever get over her loss. I’m so sorry you are going through this OP, Daisy was so beautiful and clearly so loved, it’s like a club you really don’t want to be a member of isn’t it, you will find lots of us on here sadly.

I have a similar memorial area like you, I never want her presence erased out so her lead and collar are still on the hooks and all her favourite toys are still in her toy box. I light a tea light next to her picture and talk to her still, might sound silly but it brings me some comfort. What has helped me is watching some self help pet bereavement videos on YouTube, it makes me feel less alone in my grief. I hope you find ways to gain comfort at this hideous time, Daisy was so lucky to be so loved and cared for, you gave her a wonderful life and I hope in time that brings you some comfort

@LadyVictoriaSponge thank you so so much for your beautiful message, it made me cry but only because it was so spot on. Firstly I'm so sorry about your lovely girl - 8 weeks is no time at all, what was her name?

It is definitely a club that only those who have been through it understand sadly, we've lost pets before but they were family pets so whilst ours, not properly ours if that makes sense? Daisy's the first dog that has been mine and DH's that we've lost and I was the one who picked her (DH picked our now 12 year old and our nearly 8 year old picked us by being born on our wedding day!). One of our close friends keep texting us to say in time you'll feel better/things will be better; they've only experienced family pet loss and not their own. I just want to block them, I know they're trying to be helpful but how will things ever be better? She's never coming back, how is that okay? I miss her SO much and I also miss my other 2 dogs as they haven't been right since Monday either, my heart breaks for them too. The eldest knew Daisy for Daisy's whole life, and the youngest hasn't known life without her. They were a little gang.

It is definitely not silly in the slightest, that is beautiful. We were given a candle by the cremation company and we've had it lit every night since she came home. I love that her lead, collar and toy box are still there for her but I bet that must bring comfort and rip you apart at the same time 💔

I'll definitely check the YouTube bits out thank you so much for that, I'm really struggling tbh. I was making our 9 month old's lunch before and normally Daisy would be squashed up on my feet (not trying to pinch food, just to be next to me - we were inseparable).

I really really appreciate your message, thank you so so much for your thoughtfulness ♥️

@MissingMissDaisy I will send you a private message, it might be late tonight or tomorrow as I’m out at the minute hope that’s ok. Hang in there you are not alone.

I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing girl. I found this thread while looking for ways to help my mum through her grief, her wonderful girl is going to the vets tonight for the final time and it's going to be hard. When we love so much the heartbreak is huge. Take care x

@LadyVictoriaSponge so sorry, I'd completely missed your reply - I'll log onto the desktop version tonight as I'm on the app, thank you so much ♥️

@Mrsfussypants1 I'm so sorry to hear about your mum's beautiful girl, even though it's inevitable from the day they join your family that this day will come at some point nothing can ever prepare you for it. I'll be thinking of you all this evening - if there's anything you need please give me a shout. It will come in waves, sometimes it will feel unbearable (I've cried every single day and can't see this ever feeling as intense), but just take your time and know that she had an incredible life surrounded by lots and lots of love. Here if you need anything x

Ever not feeling this intense* sorry!

It's so hard, we love them so much and they leave a huge hole in the house. I'm 6 months in and still miss my boy everday, the pain is less raw now, I can talk about his funny ways without sobbing. Time is a healer.

So sorry they break your heart, hugs x

I’m so sorry for your loss.
We said goodbye to our Daisy just over a year ago. We went for a walk at one of her favourite places yesterday and spotted these in an area that has recently been left to grow wild. It made me smile (through my tears!) to think of them growing where she was running just 13 months ago.

I’m really so very sorry, it is terribly hard. That’s a lovely box with the photo you have her ashes in, she’s such a pretty little girl.
I’ve been there so very many times over the years, it never becomes any easier to lose one but a time does come when the raw pain lessons & you can begin to remember the wonderful times you had with her which are so clouded in the early weeks/ months by the sheer pain of her going. Your other dogs will be mourning her, they do, so trying to comfort them will help a little.
Thinking of you 💐

@MissingMissDaisy Thank you for your kind words.. I'm a bit cried out, I was meant to be strong for mum but didn't last.. She was mums favourite child and we adored her. Fly high Cookie and thank you for being my mums best friend x