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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Flip

Original poster

Need to rehome

19 replies

Cherrycola29k · 06/06/2023 19:40

But feel guilty on my family. Without giving too much away they don’t live with me full time and so I have full caring responsibility for DDog but my mental health is suffering. I have already broached the subject of rehoming but it went down like a lead Balloon. So I can’t be honest, it will have to be in secret. I don’t even know how to go about that…

DDog is a sweetie and just wants pampering and love, I just can’t give it. I’ve tried.

any advice?

OP posts:

bloodywhitecat · 06/06/2023 19:42

Do it through a rescue/rehoming centre rather than doing it yourself. Sometimes it is the right thing to do but it doesn't make it any easier to do it

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 06/06/2023 19:44

What breed op? contact a specialist rescue...

Bathintheshed · 06/06/2023 19:45

How old is the dog? Can't the person you share your dog with take on full time? Who would you keep rehoming a secret from? If you mean DC I would imagine explaining to them would cause less trauma then them having dog taken away behind their back.

Original poster

Cherrycola29k · 06/06/2023 19:48

I can’t give too many details as I don’t want to be outed. Dog is small breed, male, middle age.
other person can’t take the dog as landlord will not allow. Yes there are children who would be upset too, it absolutely would not be best to tell them the truth.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cherrycola29k · 06/06/2023 19:55

I don’t think dog would cope in a rescue, he is a very much a lapdog and needs the human contact. Also fearful of other dogs.

OP posts:

Bathintheshed · 06/06/2023 20:15

Would joining up somewhere like borrow my doggy help? To give you respite? Or seeing if a rescue will rehome from your house? I know some will as they need the space.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 06/06/2023 20:15

Please do not rehome privately. The dog will be past from pillar to post by idiots, (spend 2 minutes on any of the private rehoming groups on Facebook…) or worse used as bait for fighting dogs.

There are several foster only rescues who can guarantee a safe future for your dog

Floralnomad · 06/06/2023 20:30

Don’t lie to your children , it will come out eventually . Do you have no family or friends that would take him on .

twistyizzy · 06/06/2023 20:35

Not all rescues use centres/kennels, lots do direct Foster in homes until a suitable adoption family is found. Private adoption is so tricky, so many people pretending to be what they aren't. How do you think bait dogs for fighting are found? Ugly truth but truth nonetheless.
Much better to go to a breed specific rescue specialist organisation.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 06/06/2023 20:36

You can't secretly rehome a dog - it will come out and cause upset. Whatever you do, you need to be open/honest about it.

Sitdowncupoftea · 07/06/2023 12:43

Have you contacted the breeder. Most responsible breeders will take the dog back and rehome.

FatGirlSwim · 07/06/2023 12:45

Can the other person take him and you look after him when the landlord visits?

FatGirlSwim · 07/06/2023 12:47

If your children don’t live with you full time will the other parent / carer allow them to take dog with them?

Can you get them to take responsibility while they are with you so that some of the load is lifted?

Rhondaa · 07/06/2023 15:40

Sitdowncupoftea · 07/06/2023 12:43

Have you contacted the breeder. Most responsible breeders will take the dog back and rehome.

It's middle aged, don't think a breeder would be interested.

Op, rescues usually have foster carers for dogs who wouldn't manage in kennels.

I'm sorry, it must be distressing but put your mental wellbeing first and do what you need to. Kids are resilient and will soon get over it if you were open with them.

Rhondaa · 07/06/2023 15:41

FatGirlSwim · 07/06/2023 12:45

Can the other person take him and you look after him when the landlord visits?

Other residents would surely report.

FatGirlSwim · 07/06/2023 15:51

Rhondaa · 07/06/2023 15:41

Other residents would surely report.

Show quote history

What other residents? Are they in a shared house? I missed that, was assuming a privately rented place.

WannabeKittens · 07/06/2023 15:56

I can understand you wanting to rehome the dog but you absolutely cannot lie to your children.

What do you propose to tell them exactly? That the dog ran away? That the dog died? You need to think about this rationally, and if you don’t want the dog any more or you’re not able to look after him, then you still need to be honest about that.

If one of my parents rehomed my dog and then lied to me about it and I found out I would never speak to them again.

FatGirlSwim · 07/06/2023 16:06

WannabeKittens · 07/06/2023 15:56

I can understand you wanting to rehome the dog but you absolutely cannot lie to your children.

If one of my parents rehomed my dog and then lied to me about it and I found out I would never speak to them again.

Completely agree. If the dog can’t be cared for then you need to explain this and be honest.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 08/06/2023 07:13

Are you getting any support for your MN @Cherrycola29k? I hope you are as it sounds like you have a lot to cope with.

If DDog is a particular breed, then I would too look at a breed specific rescue. We got our DDog from a breed rescue and they were fabulous. She came straight from her old home to ours so wasn't with a Fosterer or in a Rescue Centre.

Like others have said though, I really wouldn't lie to your DC. This is going to cause upset when they find out the truth and potentially damage your relationship with them. Just tell them the truth.

Flip