How to know when to PTS?

[IsItTimeYet]

Hi, apologies in advance for long post, I'm posting on here as I'd like others opinions on my situation, though I appreciate only I can make this decision.
I have a 9.5 year old Labrador, my family have had her since she was an 8 week old puppy, my parents bought her but she has been my dog and I've paid for all of her veterinary bills and other expenses for several years now.
She is diagnosed with hip dysplasia, osteoarthritis and spondylosis (x rays taken in February). She is currently taking gabapentin, carprox and meloxidyl for pain relief, we have tried the Librella injections however I noticed no real difference and at over £70 a month on top of her £80+ on other medication, I just can't afford it. She has a memory foam dog bed to support her joints, raised bowls to prevent her hurting her back, a ramp for the car and I now sleep on a mattress on my bedroom floor so my dog doesn't have to jump on and off it.
I am concerned about her quality of life unfortunately, however my family thinks I'm over reacting/she's not ready.

Positives:
Still enjoys food and treats (though she is a Lab...)
Is not incontinent
Is physically able to get up and walk
Pleased to see visitors/people she knows*
Loves her weekly 30 minute visit to a secure field where she runs around like a young dog, and doesn't appear to overly suffer in the evening.
Still has happy and waggy moments dotted throughout the day.

Negatives:
Sleeps a LOT. I know older dogs need more rest but it's excessive and I'd say 22+ hours a day.
Doesn't particularly enjoy walks anymore, she doesn't limp as such but plods along looking very sad, doesn't sniff as much, tail down, etc - we only go out for about 15 mins once a day and she looks miserable the whole time.
*I spend the most time with her on a day to day basis, and she doesn't always look pleased to see me/doesn't always get up to greet me or wags her tail when I enter the room.
I often notice her lip licking, showing whale eye and trembling when touched sonetimes, so while she isn't yelping etc I do believe she is in pain unfortunately.
She is a lot more anxious around people and other dogs now, I think she is defensive due to worrying they might hurt her.
Her eyes look sad and dull a lot these days - I think she looks fed up.

I know people say "you'll just know" but I'm not so sure, I do find myself worrying so much about her. I am definitely in the camp of "better a week too early than a day too late" but I also don't want to rob her of good days either. Likewise, I really don't want to leave it until she can't get up/struggles to walk/is in severe pain constantly.

I have a feeling it might be time, but my family doesn't agree because she's still pleased whenever they interact with her (maybe 30 mins out of 24 hrs a day, and often because they give her treats 99% of every interaction) whereas I'm with her almost constantly so see a more balanced picture of what she's

like.

I obviously really don't want to let her go, but I know she will not get better and her conditions will only worsen/get more painful with time - I want to let her go peacefully after a few days of being spoilt rotten while she still has some quality of life yet. My vets have basically said it's my decision but haven't given me their opinion either way.

Could anyone else please share their insight? Again, I know only I can say when is enough but I think I just need a handhold to do the right thing.

My parents may never speak to me again if I put her to sleep, but I don't want her to suffer.

Thank you x

You need to speak to the vet and ask their honest opinion. My lab didn’t walk a step without her tail wagging so it does stand out that your dog has their tail down. however, gabapentin causes humans to be tired/drowsy so I imagine it’s the same with dogs. Maybe that’s contributing to her not wanting to walk, her lack of wag & it will definitely be contributing to the 22 hrs sleeping.

A vet will tell you if they think she is suffering or not, maybe that will help you decide. So hard I know

Bumping for morning readers!

Your pup sounds absolutely lovely! I agree with what you say about it generally being 'better too early than too late.' As you say, it's got to be about the animal's overall quality of life. Your girl evidently still experiences joy (I loved reading about her enjoying the secure field!) It must be so hard to see her in pain though. You have already done a lot to make her life as comfortable as possible - it's clear from reading that just how much you love her.

I agree with what a pp said about the medication probably making her more sleepy. Would you say that her waking hours are spent more in pain or discomfort than not? If so, I think perhaps you are right and it's getting towards the time where you need to kindly let her go. I understand your family's reluctance to accept this, particularly if they tend to see her at her most sparky. However, you spend more time with her and are more likely to have a balanced view of her life.

It's so hard though, isn't it? I really feel for you. You have given her such a wonderful life and she has done the same for you. Best wishes OP, whatever you decide x

We’ve literally just had to do this for arthritis although our lab was 15.5 years. It seems so sad your poor girl is suffering so badly so young. You must be heartbroken.

Our girl was really obviously in pain when we did it and it was obvious that it was needed because she suddenly lost her mobility. We’d taken her to her favourite beach where she got so excited that she ran, but caused permanent damage to one of her front legs in the process (the vet said arthritis in joints can turn into cancer, they thought this was likely). An injection of ketamine ‘reset’ her pain which bought her an extra two weeks and a walk round a bluebell wood which was lovely to see, but it wore off.

The day the vet came our dog literally couldn’t walk, so no doubt, but I realise whilst she was ready we weren’t. We should probably have let her go on the ketamine day but the vet wanted to try. Two weeks later they said PTS was the kindest option.

It’s incredibly difficult to know when, we’ve been asking ourselves that question for months before it became absolutely obvious. People say you’ll know when, but maybe when you know for sure they’ve probably been suffering for a while.

I really do feel for you, it’s the worst thing ever.

It's such a terrible decision to have to make, and we've been fortunate with our previous dogs that there was an obvious tipping point. SIL however had a dog who went slowly slowly slowly downhill and their vet said, think about all the things that used to give your dog pleasure and fulfillment and consider what they have left.

This might also be a good way to open up the discussion with the rest of your family.

All the best with it, OP. It's one of the worst aspects of dog ownership.

Massive sympathies from me, I’m in pretty much the same situation with my 12 year old spaniel.

He has arthritis in both hips and is pretty much deaf now, his eyesight is also failing. He probably spends 80% of the day sleeping and I think there is possibly the start of dementia as he’s getting a bit forgetful.

He lives with me but spends the odd day with ex-DH who thinks he’s absolutely fine, just getting a bit older. But I’m with DDog nearly all the time and have seen him deteriorating a little bit week by week.

It’s such a tough decision OP but I think the fact that you see how much your dog is struggling should overrule your family’s reluctance to PTS. I know I’ll have a similar battle in the not too distant future.

I'm in the same boat with a 10 year old Shorkie - going to the vet tomorrow for "the chat" and I'm heartbroken.

Mine's also happy at home/garden but won't go for a walk at all and I've tried everything. He's still very much enjoying our company and treats, but is mostly turning nose up at dinner.

I had to stop Librella for the same reasons, mines on Gabapentin and Prozac for anxiety but I can't see any real improvement other than he's slightly calmer.

To me the refusal to walk outside of the house, or to eat dinner is his way of saying he's about had enough.
Not sure how I'm going to get through this as only had DCat age 15 pts less than 2 years ago and I'm still sore. He's my little shadow and we're together 24/7. My heart goes out go you, only you can make the decision but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone x

I think if she is running about like a young dog, can get up and down and is eating her food then she is probably doing OK. My 15 year old lab stopped getting up to greet me several years ago but is happy for me to greet her. I was worried at first but I think it is just an age thing.

Do you think she is a bit bored with her walks? Perhaps take her in the car and walk somewhere new and see if that makes a difference.

My dog has also become wary of other dogs too as she knows if they get a bit rough with her that she won’t be able to hold her own. However people unable to control their dog or “he’s just playing” is a whole other thread. Can’t they see how terrified she is when their dog has knocked her over and has her pinned to the ground.

My dog is on librella and although I didn’t initially see a difference and they were quite agitated in the evening to begin with it has made a huge difference. It’s unfortunate that it didn’t work for your dog.

It’s a tough decision to make. The only advice I have to offer is to talk it through with your vet. I have had this conversation with my vet a few times over the past year and each time have left feeling reassured that I am doing the right thing.

Take along a video of her running in the secure field.

I’m in no way saying it’s not the right time but what I picked out of your post is that she doesn’t seem to enjoy walks but does enjoy her off lead time in the field . I have an elderly dog with a few issues - high BP , luxating patella’s that have led to a bit of arthritis . He’s on BP meds and metacam plus yumove + and it’s become apparent in the last month that he struggles on pavements / gravel but is fine on grass , even if it’s hard IYSWIM . I’ve started driving him the 5 minutes to our local heath for his walks everyday instead of walking him there and back .

This might help. I’m sorry x
https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/default/files/import/assets/pdf/hospital/companionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf

We ended up in the emergency vets late at night and I never want to be in that position again. I really do think people leave it too long. Dogs are good at masking pain. If I had my time again I’d use the check list above, and book a vet to visit us at home to pts. When I look back now at videos of his final weeks it pains me that I couldn’t see how much pain he was in.