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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Talk me out of getting a dog!

37 replies

stepstepstep · 31/05/2023 16:34

We are looking after our friend’s Cavalier King Charles Spaniel & she is so great that we are thinking of getting a dog!

None of my dog-fears have been realised, she is well-behaved, not (too) smelly, super-affectionate, rarely barks and even picking up her poop isn’t as unbearable as I feared. She loves walking (so do I) but sleeps a lot of the day too. Only glitch is our cat is not at all a fan.

I need a reality check! I have never thought of myself as a dog owner, but now I could see us doing it. DP wfh every day so any dog would always have company. What are the downsides - I must be being naive surely…?

OP posts:

WonkyFeelings · 31/05/2023 16:35

Dogs are wonderful. The only downside is that they don’t live as long as us.

KirstenBlest · 31/05/2023 16:35

It's not fair on the cat.
The dog you are looking after has already been trained

GuppytheCat · 31/05/2023 16:36

The dog you see is at least partly a result of a lot of hard work in the puppy stage. Have a read up about it. Or just steal their dog

Digestive28 · 31/05/2023 16:37

It’s lovely in the summer, less so in the pouring rain and cold winter

grosslyunfair · 31/05/2023 16:38

They are a massive massive tie. Going out for the day? What about the dog? Holidays, weekends- dog care needed. I love mine and wouldn't be without him but the biggest downside is that you always need to think about their needs.

ponderingsoul · 31/05/2023 16:39

I will not ever have a dog again once ours has left us. She is a pretty perfect little lady, well trained, very clean and super affectionate. But she’s also a real tie. It’s expensive to leave her for a holiday, we have to factor her in to long days out etc. It’s just another responsibility and with 3 children to think about I don’t need any more responsibilities. But I’m not someone who thinks of my dog like my baby. She is a dog and that’s it, as much as I like her. If I could go back I wouldn’t get a dog, if you’re on the fence I really wouldn’t.

bibbityboppityboo · 31/05/2023 16:41

Don't do it to your cat!

Also all dogs are individual. You're not going throw the pissing inside, chewing skirting boards etc etc stage 😂

If someone said oh I'm going to have a baby because I babysat my nephew and he's an angel, everyone would be telling you that all children are different and you can't compare borrowing one to having one - same for dogs!

the80sweregreat · 31/05/2023 16:43

My son's dog is lovely and adored, but when I see the hair everywhere and the costs involved and walking him in all weathers etc I'm so pleased I haven't got one! They are a tie.

AnonyMenOhPee · 31/05/2023 16:43

They’re a massive tie. You can’t go out for the day you have to get back for the dog. You can’t go for a weekend away easily. Other dog owners are mostly idiots. Doubly so if you end up with a fearful or reactive dog. “Oh don’t worry mines friendly” they’ll shout while you hold onto yours. “Mines not” you shout and they just laugh and say “oh it will be good for mine to learn”. Idiots. Finding dog sitters not easy if you have a reactive dog. Training takes ages. They do gross things like eating poo and sick. You have to walk them at least once a day, rain or snow or just fucking freezing cold.

They don’t live long enough.

Iheartmysmart · 31/05/2023 16:43

Downsides for me are having to go out in all weathers for walks, never being able to do anything spontaneously - dogs are a huge tie and they don’t all like sitting nicely at cafes and pubs! The expense, I probably spend over £300 per month on mine for everything. He’s an old boy now so insurance is well over £100 a month.

allthewoes · 31/05/2023 16:48

I love dogs. But here are the bad things about having one

It's much harder to keep your house clean and fresh. I feel like I'm constantly mopping, vacuuming, washing dog toys/beds/blankets.

You have to walk them every day whether you feel like it or not.

They usually roll in fox poo and get filthy.

Hairs will find their way into everything.

If you want to go anywhere/do anything you have to consider the dog/how long you can leave it. Going on holiday abroad can be a right pain if you don't have a willing friend/family to step in.

You might get a barky annoying dog. They might be really hard work to train, and may not sleep well at night. It might pester the life out of you and chew up your best specs/shoes/handbag.

Greenpeasnwham · 31/05/2023 16:51

Hair on everything. You might get a stupid one that runs off walls and has a habit of chewing only the things I love (hard look at my adored but v wonky rescue collie)…
they cost a fortune. Vet bills. Food. Spray to stop them eating your lively new garden furniture…. Holidays are a pain. Did I say dog hair? Some roll in dead stuff or poo. Sometime they are sick everywhere. (If they eat the dead stuff before rolling in it).
if you have kids or a husband and it was your idea to get a dog (or not) good chance all the wet walks, cleaning up, feeding will be yours to do. And the bloody dog hair.
one day you will have to hold them as they pass away.
if you are still keen after that lot, crack on! (It’s worth it)!

fireflyloo · 31/05/2023 16:51

The biggest downsize is finding someone who you can trust fully to have them when you go on holiday. We also limit our holidays to 1week as I wouldn't leave him,

PuppyMonkey · 31/05/2023 16:52

As above, the tedious walks in crap, dark winter weather, the mud, the soggy doggy, drying out your waterproofs…

Food that costs a fortune, insurance, vaccinations, worm treatment…

My dog needs his anal glands expressing regularly… google it.

Not all dogs are non-barky. Not all dogs are non smelly.

Holidays. Kennel costs.

Your DP might wfh now , what if that changes? Also what if it interferes with his job looking out for a dog with the squits or worse?

Puppys. Nightmare. Definitely don’t do that.

Get another kitten.

PuppyMonkey · 31/05/2023 16:53

Oh yeah, the fox poo eating.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 31/05/2023 16:58

Your cat not liking them is likely the main reason.
You currently have an adult cavalier, cavvies are about as easy as you’ll get temperament wise. However unfortunately riddled with some terrifying health problems.
If you got a puppy you couldn’t take it on big walks for at least a year
they bite, shit on the floor, they are a huge tie, even nights out can be really tricky.

I love my dogs but they are not a commitment to be taken lightly and if your cat doesn’t like a calm adult they’ll likely find a puppy very stressful

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 31/05/2023 16:59

Dog ownership in the middle of February is very different to dog ownership in May

Walking the dog in the pissing down rain, howling wind and knee-high mud.
Cleaning off said dog after every single walk and trip into the garden
The expense - it's not cheap
The commitment - days out, nights out and holidays all need to fit around the dog.

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 31/05/2023 17:05

Read the puppy survival threads.

Our both our dogs have taken until 2.5-3 years to stop being a puppy and be a dog. That’s 2.5-3 years of training and establishing and re-establishing boundaries.

The cost. Insurance. Dog food. Chews. Toys. Out of hours vet trips (there are always out of hours vet trips). Routine jabs, flea and worm treatment. Boarding fees for holidays or taking them on holiday with you.

All dogs are different and no two are the same, even the same breed. They have similar characteristics but just because one Kings Charles Cavalier doesn’t bark, doesn’t smell and is well-behaved doesn’t mean another would be. You could get one that just loves rolling in fox poo.

I wouldn’t be without my dogs and I imagine we’ll always have dogs. However, you have to want a dog, not just a particular dog.

YoDood · 31/05/2023 17:05

There’s so much luck involved.

We have a fantastic little border terrier but numerous friends are struggling with theirs; two are dog reactive and walking them is very stressful - they constantly have to be vigilant. Another two are territorial about their space and growl aggressively / nip when people get too close. All of them regret getting their dogs unfortunately but are now in it for life.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 31/05/2023 17:18

yes agree with a poster that says you have to want a dog, not a particular dog.
You say none of your dog fears have happened but what if they did with your dog.
Just scan through some threads here, toilet training not reliable 5/6 months in, dogs chasing the cat, dogs nipping the visitors, humping visitors, someone bought a male doge over for half an hour 2 months ago and their neutered male has been marking ever since etc etc.

I have two lovely spaniels but one of them has awful barrier frustration and even with regular sessions with a behaviourist and the huge improvements he’s made he can still absolutely lost it and be such a twit, and I have had walks where I’ve been close to tears..
The other is an angel but has colitis and when he’s got a flare (once every two months or so) that’s us not sleeping for a couple of days as he needs the toilet every hour.

Also it’s way more expensive than you’d think. Yes you can buy a big bag of kibble for £15 but it’s likely just cereals ans abbetoir floor scrapings, decent food costs a lot (and seems to go up every time I need to buy it!), if you need to go away or want a hot week in the sun you’ll be adding hundreds, grooming costs, vet (echo the above, there are always OOH vet trips..), insurance, if your DP needs to go back into the office walkers, daycare… etc it adds up rapidly

Dogs are wonderful but yes you have to be willing to deal with the crap that goes with it

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 31/05/2023 17:40

My Springer is amazing but my house smells of dog and my cat left home to live with the neighbours across the street!

curiousitykilledthecake · 31/05/2023 17:48

I really regret my dog. I grew up with them and couldn't imagine not having one but after having kids it just feels like someone said above, another responsibility and another thing in the house that is dependent on me and sometimes in between toddlers and a baby I just don't feel I have the mental capacity. Feel like I'm constantly telling my kids to leave him alone. Pain in the arse having to drag kids out everyday for a walk especially when wet. Feel guilty leaving him at home all day when we take the kids on days out but feel guilty the kids missing out on days out and always having to do dog friendly things. Feel guilty having to keep him separate from us a lot of the time but feel guilty if he's in the room and the kids are in his face. I do love him, but the constant guilt is just shit and the time he isn't here feel so much more stress free through no fault of his own I regularly feel like he'd be happier elsewhere but husband would rather rehome the kids than our dog. I do hope when the kids are bigger I'll be able to have the bond I used to with him. I feel guilty constantly about how things have changed.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 31/05/2023 17:56

I wouldn’t be without my dogs and I imagine we’ll always have dogs. However, you have to want a dog, not just a particular dog.

Yes, absolutely this.

I work with dogs and don't know any owner that hasn't struggled with something - from fairly minor things like toilet training, chewing and barking to more serious issues like reactivity, aggression and a super-high prey drive.

The dog you get won't be this dog. What happens if it's a barking, reactive nightmare?

Original poster

stepstepstep · 31/05/2023 18:02

Ok. That worked better than I wanted 😁

Many excellent points, although of all of them I think it is the element of tieing you down which is the worst - we’ve just got the kids to later teens so they don’t need us so much anymore.

Soooo, only one thing for it… keep dog sitting this one regularly & let my friend have a bit of freedom!

OP posts:

KirstenBlest · 31/05/2023 19:45

@stepstepstep , dog sit for your friend and get them to dog sit yours.
Don't get a CKCS, get a JRT.

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