Dog PTS/Guilt

[marblesthecat]

I think my 11.5 year old dog will most likely be PTS tomorrow. He's been slowly deteriorating over the past year - he's blind, his back legs are going, he can no longer control his bowels and he has a skin infection that despite multiple treatments has never fully cleared up so he is covered in bald patches. It sounds terrible written down but he's actually still a happy little dog. He seems to have rapidly gone downhill over the past week and has been pooing whenever he's picked up and limping around/falling over. My head is telling me it's best to do it before it gets worse.

I'm feeling so much guilt at all the things I could have done better, all the times I got annoyed at him and how he didn't get quite as much attention after my DD was born, I can't stop crying. Is is it normal to feel this way or is it a sign I've really been a crappy pet owner? I was one of those people that used to treat my pets like my human babies before I had an actual baby and realistically they have still had nice comfortable lives since she was born but I did have to assert boundaries ie no more sleeping in my bed.

I've been giving him lots of cuddles and attention and I'm going to take the day off work tomorrow to spend it with him before the appointment. I've had animals PTS before but never a dog. I feel like a murderer.

It’s a totally normal way to feel. My Dog was also my baby before my IVF baby came along, then I suppose was pushed to number two in the priority list, but we had so many happy years and daily walks with weekend woodland trips. She never walked a step without wagging her tail, She had a period where she declined, daily medication helped her for several months but then she rapidly went down hill. I do still have times when I feel bad for sending her to her bed for doing something or when I needed her to move, I feel bad that she didn’t die naturally and know she could have lived longer but, ultimately, it was kinder to ease her gently off to sleep whilst being held.
They are such a big part of our family, it’s only natural to feel the way you are now, and you will miss him greatly when he’s gone, but you are showing him such love to help him on his way.

Thank you so much ❤❤

Totally normal!
If it helps I have two spaniels now, who make me feel guilty of how I looked after my first spaniel 25 years ago! who I adored but he got fed big standard dog food whereas my boys have single source protein grain free everything, he had a dog bowl where my boys have snuffle mats and lick mats, he had a step in harness where I have done to ridiculous lengths to make sure mine have harnesses that fit perfectly and don’t restrict movement… so on and so forth!

Dogs don’t know they could be doing agility or hours hiking, they are bred to be companions largely and are probably just happy you exist
Take care OP!

OP guilt and grief are horrible bedfellows and what you are feeling is very normal. Love to you and your boy.

Sorry OP - the guilt is part of it.

However he lived, however the end came about, you would find something to feel guilty about. I don't know a single good dog owner that does not feel the burden of guilt when they have gone.

I'm come to the conlusion that the guilt is just part of the standard package.

It's always better to do a day too soon than a day too late.

Give him the dignified death he deserves after all those years of love and wagging tails.

I had to take my elderly cat yesterday. He's not the first animal that we've had to make this awful decision for. I still feel really sad that he has gone, and I was a mess at the vet's. But I stopped thinking of myself as his executioner and reframed myself as his saviour. I saved him from an awful life when I took him from unsuitable living conditions 17 years ago. I am also now his saviour because I saved him from a protracted, painful, undignified death. He went gently to sleep whilst having his head stroked. No more pain. I'm crying now because although I know it was absolutely the right decision, it still breaks my heart. But I don't feel guilty.

Thanks for all your lovely comments everyone. I've just got back from the vets. I think this day will haunt me forever, it was so much so awful.

Sending you a hug 💐

Sending you a big hug, I have had to do it 2 times in the last couple of years. Breaks your heart but that's what they deserve for bring love into your life x