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Original poster

Will I ever be able to leave the house again?

10 replies

Nowanextraone · 25/05/2023 08:55

Hi all,
Please be gentle with me.
We have 2 greyhounds.

My MIL got pancreatic cancer a month ago and died very very quickly. We've taken in her beautiful dog (a whippet).
Apart from a few teething issues between the dogs over the first week, they've all settled in really well and get on.

Our 2 greyhounds have always been absolutely fine when I go to work each day (8-12). We have a home camera so I can see and hear them and they have always slept solidly. My MIL's whippet was also fine home alone as she used to work part time before cancer hit too.

I went back to work last week, naively thinking I could leave all 3 of them happily.
How wrong was I Sad

The howling, barking and crying from my MIL's whippet and 1 of my greyhounds is immense. I keep turning on the camera to listen and watch them and it doesn't stop. They both stand on the back of the sofa going mental, for HOURS.
The other greyhound just sits on the sofa looking at them but obviously can't rest with the noise.

I just don't know what to do. I am at work now and they're going mental. There's nothing I can do. I am sweating with stress and shaking.

How on earth can I get them to settle when I'm at work? I've even been thinking of getting some medication from the vets.

OP posts:
ilovesushi · 25/05/2023 09:14

Can you find someone to take the whippet while you are at work - daycare, a neighbour, family member? Then you could work gradually on leaving them all together. Have you tried shutting them in separate areas of the house when you go out?

Mindymomo · 25/05/2023 09:27

I would try leaving them in separate rooms and see if it helps. Maybe you have to go back to basics with the Whippet, by just leaving for a few minutes, then returning and gradually increase the time, I doubt a dog walker would help, other than the dogs not being in the house. Or it could be that the Whippet is simply grieving your MIL and will just need time adjusting.

Newpeep · 25/05/2023 09:27

Sorry to hear about your MIL. Her whippet is probably all over the place mentally at the moment so it's very common.

Short term you need to look at day care or a sitter. When he is settled then you can start training. As he's been ok before then the chances are he will be ok again in the future with some work and time but not if he continues to be stressed.

Medication can work but it's unlikely to be described yet as what is happening is pretty normal for a dog that has been through changes like he has.

The dog training advice and support group has a good training plan and also Julie Naismith SA group on FB is good for science based training advice but first of all you need to ease the distress. He's not learning when he's upset.

CatsOnTheChair · 25/05/2023 10:27

Tomorrow, try them shut in different rooms.
But I think you need to be looking for someone who can take the Whippet for the mornings for a while.

I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but if the dogs really are howling for hours, you are likely to be winding up the neighbours too, so really need a temporary solution until MiL's dog has settled more with you.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/05/2023 10:28

Daycare

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 25/05/2023 11:25

Was the whippet left with the run of the house when your MIL was alive or was she crated and/or confined to a small space? Is she used to being able to see out of windows etc. or not? Do you give her a good walk/run before you leave?

Personally I don't think it's at all surprising that she won't settle - her entire world has been turned upside down and she's also never been trained to settle alone in your house before. She may have been fine at MIL's house but that's a completely different scenario.

I think you'll need to look at paying for daycare - at least in the short-term.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 25/05/2023 11:27

Daycare. Teaching them to settle when left is doable but will take ages and the longer they are left to just howl and bark the more it can reinforce the behaviour.
Daycare for now and when you are around at weekends/evenings start working on leaving them

sunsoutagain · 25/05/2023 13:47

Sorry to hear about your MIL. Her dog is probably in mourning and doesn't know whether she's coming or going. When we lost one of our 2 Labradors the one left suddenly howled and cried whenever he was left on his own - we ended up paying someone or leaving him with friends every time we went out or taking him with us he did get over it but it was very gradual

MyGirlDaisy · 25/05/2023 14:02

Sorry for the loss of your mil. I think day care might make the Whippet more anxious because that’s another new scenario for him/her to cope with.
Can you find a pet sitter who could be with them whilst you are at work but get them to work on the separation anxiety with you. So once they are comfortable with the sitter get them to pop out for 5 minutes and then again at regular intervals working up to 10 minutes etc. Might be worth trying Adaptil products too. You probably already leave a radio on - sounds very stressful though and I hope that it settles down soon.

StaceyF90 · 25/05/2023 19:31

Sorry to hear about your MIL.
How are the dogs walking together? If they walk well together, could you introduce them to a dog walker with you there and then the walker can visit and walk them when you're out?
Like other posters have said daycare, lots of places offer half day options. Only an option if your whippet likes playing with other dogs though.

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