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The doghouse

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Original poster

Really struggling to bond with my dog... 18 months old

5 replies

rosiebutterfly · 16/05/2023 08:28

Hi all, i feel so guilty but i just don't like my dog, i rescued her from Macedonia she was a really sweet puppy at first, i am also heavily pregnant in week 34 so my patience isn't great. There isn't really anything nice about her which sounds terrible, she is a large breed dog she winds my other dogs up on purpose if shes bored and if they show any excitement she tries to rough play and knock them down, she doesn't listen to a word we say, she shows no affection unless she wants to wipe her eye juice all over you then shell come see you and literally will cover you in her gunk then walk off, she doesnt listen to the word no, she jumps up at everyone when she knows she shouldnt including me, shes so greedy that if we have dinner she growls and moans through the door because she expects our food lol, she is a nightmare! she also constantly still tries to knock me down and jump all over me whilst being heavily pregnant shes around 40kg, i feel awful as ive rescued a dog and i dont like her at all. I've never had this before, i've always bonded with my dogs and i just look at her and there's not really anything nice about her or her character at all, i hope i wont be judged for this but im just wondering if anyone has any tips, i've never given up on her hence why im nearly two years in but my detachment ive noticed is getting worse and i actually dread seeing her, if anyone has any advice please

OP posts:
AnonyMenOhPee · 16/05/2023 08:37

have you trained her not to jump up? Do you give her things to do instead of bothering your other dogs?

For instance dogs don’t understand the word no - so if all you do is shout no when she’s naughty she doesn’t understand. Teach her she gets rewarded for keeping all four paws on the floor. Give her a frozen stuffed kong when you’re eating so she’s not scrounging for yours, or teach her to go to her bed.

you need to put the effort in to train her and interact with her in a positive way and then she might start being more affectionate.

Original poster
rosiebutterfly · 16/05/2023 08:40

AnonyMenOhPee · 16/05/2023 08:37

have you trained her not to jump up? Do you give her things to do instead of bothering your other dogs?

For instance dogs don’t understand the word no - so if all you do is shout no when she’s naughty she doesn’t understand. Teach her she gets rewarded for keeping all four paws on the floor. Give her a frozen stuffed kong when you’re eating so she’s not scrounging for yours, or teach her to go to her bed.

you need to put the effort in to train her and interact with her in a positive way and then she might start being more affectionate.

yep, done all the training, positive reinforcement, no attention until she calms down, we've tried everything.

Our dog sitter is also a behaviourist and she said that she is extremely hard work, we have done everything by the book , but sometimes humanly you do say no.

She has a kong, she has antlers she has everything. We've tried to train for two years.

OP posts:
reabies · 16/05/2023 09:10

I have a reactive rescue and have also felt very detached from her since having a baby. I get very little joy from having her in our life but she and my husband are peas in a pod and he will be devastated when she's no longer with us.
We found a dogwalker who is also a trainer specialising in reactive dogs, she takes her out 2x a week and is constantly working with her. The reactivity is still there but she is miles better than she used to be.
Have you ruled out any medical issues? Ours was cracking off at everyone then we found she was in pain with her hips, meds have definitely helped the situation.
Also, as she's getting older she is mellowing slightly. She's now around 5 and we have seen a difference in energy levels etc.
Other than that, she's just really hard work and totally dictates our life. If my husband wasn't so in love (and he takes on the bulk of looking after her) then I would seriously think about rehoming. There is nothing wrong with rehoming a dog who is incompatible with your family, if you make sure that where they are going is better for them.

AnonyMenOhPee · 16/05/2023 09:19

But if she’s doing these behaviours to get your attention then ignoring her is going to increase her frustration and make her worse. I do get it my rescue dog is a handful too but redirecting the behaviour into something you do want is much more effective than ignoring a frustrated dog.

If I were you I would go on the dog training advice and support Facebook page - it’s run by qualified behaviourists. You read the guides to see if there’s anything new you haven’t tried and then you can post to ask for help if you need more support. They also have a premium group for £20 a month you can get 1 on 1 help and post whenever you like to ask questions. I was on the verge of sending my dog back before I joined the premium group

Original poster
rosiebutterfly · 16/05/2023 10:38

reabies · 16/05/2023 09:10

I have a reactive rescue and have also felt very detached from her since having a baby. I get very little joy from having her in our life but she and my husband are peas in a pod and he will be devastated when she's no longer with us.
We found a dogwalker who is also a trainer specialising in reactive dogs, she takes her out 2x a week and is constantly working with her. The reactivity is still there but she is miles better than she used to be.
Have you ruled out any medical issues? Ours was cracking off at everyone then we found she was in pain with her hips, meds have definitely helped the situation.
Also, as she's getting older she is mellowing slightly. She's now around 5 and we have seen a difference in energy levels etc.
Other than that, she's just really hard work and totally dictates our life. If my husband wasn't so in love (and he takes on the bulk of looking after her) then I would seriously think about rehoming. There is nothing wrong with rehoming a dog who is incompatible with your family, if you make sure that where they are going is better for them.

Thank you for being honest and I’m sorry you share a similar situation, the technique was actually from a trainer the ignoring technique is only for when people come in the door as she lunges for anyone and jumps at them, she cut open my aunties arm from wrist to the end of her forearm by lunging at her when she came in, our trainer told us to do this and walk to another room calmly and then make a fuss of her, I will hope with age she calms down, my husband is the same so he’s keeping me level headed about things but it is very hard

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