Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

My dog is driving me insane

19 replies

Rachel888888 · 09/05/2023 22:23

I am posting as I am at the end of my tether and honestly don’t know what to do for the best.

I have a small dog who is 5 years old, had her since she was a puppy. She’s never been an ‘easy dog’ but I have always just put up with it and not been too bothered Infact I have always quite liked having her and always made time for her.

over the past year I just can’t seem to tolerate her anymore, everything she does stresses me out to a point where I want to rehome her. She’s bouncy, doesn’t listen,pulls on walks, whines if she’s in whines if she’s out. Im always thinking about her and I literally revolve my life around her.

its almost like I just don’t want the commitment anymore or as my friend has said maybe I have just gotten so tired of the behaviour I’m not willing to deal with it anymore.

iv done training classes etc in the past and I keep up with things but she just has a mind of her own!

unfortunately I struggle with my mental health and it has become worse recently and I feel as though the responsibility of having her has just become too much for me.

has anyone else been in a similar situation? Am I a terrible person for wanting my peace and my life back!?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/05/2023 22:26

None of those sound like issues that can’t be resolved. And if you have a dog then there is a certain amount of living with the fact your life revolves around them.

DogDream · 09/05/2023 22:27

It sounds like you need to go back to training?

Also; is the dog currently going to any kind of day care? That will take the responsibility off of you for part of the day and tire her out as well.

Do you have a partner to share the responsibility with? Giving pets a good life is hard work and it’s helpful to have someone to share that with. If not a partner then maybe look at Borrow My Doggy? If you can find the right person/people through that then it’s a whole other network of people to help enrich her life and to lift your burden a small amount.

chipswitheveryting · 09/05/2023 22:28

Can you share your dog with someone? Like maybe an elderly person who wants company but doesn't want vet bills etc?

Maybe a bit of extra time apart will give you the space you need to cope and think more objectively.

Exasperatednow · 09/05/2023 22:32

How long is it since you did training?

Ours is 9 and still regularly goes to training (group session) because he enjoys it and gives him (and us) a bit of socialisation. It might help.

RunningFromInsanity · 09/05/2023 22:38

In the height of my depression I made plans to take my dog to the vets and have him put to sleep as I couldn’t cope and couldn’t bear the thought of being responsible for him for another 7+years.

It makes me feel sick now.
It’s your MH. Ride it out, get help. You love your dog.

Original poster
Rachel888888 · 09/05/2023 22:40

A while ago. This might be a good idea thank you

OP posts:
Highdaysandholidays1 · 09/05/2023 22:43

I felt intolerant and fed up with my cat when I was depressed, the cat was behaving the same as normal (it's a noisy cat!) but I just felt like I had nothing left to give. Now I am on antidepressants I feel much better and I love the cat again. I suspect its your worsening mental health which is making you feel overwhelmed by the dog. Tackling that, and also perhaps getting some training/extra walks for the dog might help before you do anything as drastic as rehoming.

Wolfiefan · 09/05/2023 23:15

Training is an ongoing thing. Not a one off course.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 09/05/2023 23:21

How is your mental health OP? Is everything else in your life okay?

Nothing you describe sounds insurmountable to me - like a PP said, training is something you have to do everyday for most of their lives.

It really helps to share the burden though, do you have a partner who can help? Or could you pay for some care occasionally?

Don't give up 💐

Peanutgurgle · 10/05/2023 06:25

We have a lovely but not terribly easy younger dog. As others have said, sharing the burden has really helped. We have a really good dog Walker/trainer for two walks a week. It really takes the edge off for me and makes me feel the weight of responsibility slightly less.

IngGenius · 10/05/2023 08:47

Op it is hard and some dogs are harder than others. Ok to deal with when you are feeling 100% but can easily become a nightmare when you are not feeling so great tbh can feel overwhelming even if you are feeling 98%!

Can you get more support for your mental health?

Would it help you to get out and about more is it that totally the wrong thing for you?

I was thinking if you could do something with your dog forgetting what they do wrong eg some scentwork classes getting out to meet new people and learning something new would help you both. I could be way off track and feel free to sigh and move on!

Sometimes concentrating on what the dogs can do is easier than trying to fix what they cant do - leave that for another day.

I agree look at a dog walker or sitter so that you can have a dog free time regularly.

Hope things become a bit easier soon

Newpeep · 10/05/2023 08:51

Back to training for you both :) It will really help.

Maybe something fun like agility or scentwork, hoopers or Rally. It really can improve your bond and above all tires them out far quicker than exercise.

Training is a lifelong thing for the vast majority of dogs. Much like humans they thrive when they are worked and are learning new things.

Discwriter · 10/05/2023 08:55

OP I agree with PP, thinking it's your MH and not necessarily the dog. Are you getting some help for this? Once you are back on a more even keel, perhaps then can look training etc.

lljkk · 10/05/2023 09:30

If OP is sick of the dog I'm not sure spending more time focused on the dog will help. I mean try it sure, but I think root of this problem is probably OP's own MH struggles. Work on the MH & I think the dog will suddenly seem much easier.

Original poster
Rachel888888 · 10/05/2023 10:02

Thanks guys! Really happy with all your advice I will look into some things and take on board! :)

OP posts:
Newpeep · 10/05/2023 10:05

lljkk · 10/05/2023 09:30

If OP is sick of the dog I'm not sure spending more time focused on the dog will help. I mean try it sure, but I think root of this problem is probably OP's own MH struggles. Work on the MH & I think the dog will suddenly seem much easier.

It can if you do something fun. Let’s face it, obedience is very important but very boring. There are other things you can do alongside it that are much more dynamic and actually enrich both your lives.

I do agree about the MH support though. As a long term sufferer of anxiety and depression which has been life limiting in the past it does make the little things into big things.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/05/2023 10:09

You say she pulls on walks? Does she ever get off-lead time? She may be bored and/or frustrated.
Can you afford a day each week of dog day care where she can mix with others and play more?

DhanyaFrancis · 10/05/2023 10:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DogDream · 10/05/2023 12:35

Rachel888888 · 10/05/2023 10:02

Thanks guys! Really happy with all your advice I will look into some things and take on board! :)

Well done @Rachel888888 It’s not easy. Do come back and tell us what you’re trying and how you’re getting on if you can. It might not be an immediate fix but we can all help you get to a better place.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread