Page 2 | Dog for family with autistic daughter

vinoandbrie · 2023-05-09T18:12:59+00:00

Hello We are thinking of getting a dog in the next year or so. Never owned a dog before, only cats. We have an autistic DD who is 9. We’ve looked at getting an autism support dog and it’s extremely challenging, as they are so scarce. Does anyone have any advice on breeds? Obviously dogs need lots of exercise but I would be after exercise on the lesser end of the scale, as realistically it’s going to be me that the work will come down to. I work every day, but 4 days from home. Thanks in advance.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/05/2023 16:57

If it works it will be great though.

Sorry OP, it's a tricky one. One of mine was a very easy puppy, but the second one drove us bonkers until he finally settled. Only you know if your DD would be able to cope with the mad puppy months.

Prancingponies · 10/05/2023 19:03

We have a dog to support my autistic DD, but the puppy months when he was in bitey landshark stage were tough. However we got a Samoyed as they are known to gravitate towards children and our breeder picked the best out of the litter to match his temperament to what he was going to be: A companion.

He will happily walk a ton, but he's also happy with 45 mins once a day. Still only 9 months old, but he copes with melt downs very well and will snuggle in with her to calm her down.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/05/2023 20:06

DrHousecuredme · 10/05/2023 16:48

Would you consider volunteering with your dd at a dog rescue?
That way she has the opportunity to build realistic relationships with dogs and neither of you are romanticising them.
Also, a bond with a specific dog might grow naturally from that.

DD is Autistic, well we're pretty sure she is, just waiting for the final part if the assessment.

We started by walking Dogs at a local rescue.

In the end we adopted an older DDog for ourselves as I'm not sure any of us would have coped with a puppy.

DDog does gravitate to me but still have a good bond with DD and has helped her.

Definitely only get a DDog if you're happy to have DDog yourself though.

Happenchance · 10/05/2023 20:13

DrHousecuredme · 10/05/2023 16:48

Would you consider volunteering with your dd at a dog rescue?
That way she has the opportunity to build realistic relationships with dogs and neither of you are romanticising them.
Also, a bond with a specific dog might grow naturally from that.

Very few rescues will allow a 9 yr old to volunteer, unless they are part of a foster family that is fostering a carefully selected dog. The rescues that will probably don't have appropriate liability insurance.

The Cinnamon Trust may have a suitable dog that the OP could walk with her DD.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/05/2023 20:37

The Cinnamon Trust may have a suitable dog that the OP could walk with her DD.

The Cinnamon Trust is a brilliant suggestion!

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/05/2023 20:40

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 10/05/2023 13:17

I would also say… and willing to get shot down here, a lot of people overromanicse buying dogs for companions for their ND family members. When the reality can be very different.

Purely anecdotal but someone I know has a teenage DS with autism, she got a small low energy breed dog and her DS struggled hugely with the puppy and adolescent stage and they very nearly rehomed. The noise in the night, they really struggled with the puppy messing the house, the puppy didn’t know when he was overstimulated (obviously) and could make the situation worse wanting to play/jumping up/mouthing (just being a puppy!) and the dog was also terrified of his meltdowns and would bark like mad, which also didn’t help.
Things are better now but her DS and the dog are fairly indifferent to each other.

I read a really good article saying the same. Can't find it now of course.

Basically it's often too much for the child AND too much for the dog. We've been sold a fairy story that it's a panacea for all ND children.

Saying that our dog was great for DD with ADHD. Really good.

DrHousecuredme · 10/05/2023 21:08

Very few rescues will allow a 9 yr old to volunteer, unless they are part of a foster family that is fostering a carefully selected dog. The rescues that will probably don't have appropriate liability insurance.

I was suggesting mum and dd went together though, a couple of rescues local to me certainly encourage family volunteering before getting a dog. That way they can teach the children how to interact well. I wasn't suggesting the nine year old gets handed a lead and sent off with a random rescue dog 🐶🥴

Happenchance · 10/05/2023 23:04

DrHousecuredme · 10/05/2023 21:08

Very few rescues will allow a 9 yr old to volunteer, unless they are part of a foster family that is fostering a carefully selected dog. The rescues that will probably don't have appropriate liability insurance.

I was suggesting mum and dd went together though, a couple of rescues local to me certainly encourage family volunteering before getting a dog. That way they can teach the children how to interact well. I wasn't suggesting the nine year old gets handed a lead and sent off with a random rescue dog 🐶🥴

I knew what you meant. Volunteers that work directly with rescue dogs usually need to be at least 16 yrs old, for insurance purposes. I would be interested to know what liability insurance those local rescues have.

octaurpus · 14/05/2023 01:15

We got a lagotto romagnolo last year. Our primary motivation was to provide a companion for PDA/ADHD DS, and we chose our dog not because of the breed, but because of the breeder's focus on temperament/producing of companion animals. Three of our dog's littermates (all of the females) went straight to foster for later training with a support dog organisation. He is a spectacular boy - so intuitive and when we're out and about he is fixed to DS's side, whether they're running through the bush or swimming at the beach.

However, it has been a bit of a journey to get here. DS struggled with the puppy stage, and was intensely jealous of the attention a puppy requires. It took about 4-5 months to fully adjust to the change, and we NEVER left the two of them alone together.

As an aside, a pp mentioned cavaliers, and I've encountered lots of cavs with autistic people. They are absolutely gorgeous dogs, but we needed more of a working dog energy for DS.

custardbear · 14/05/2023 01:31

We have an autistic DD14 and are training up our Samoyed pup - they do need lots of grooming though if you consider a beautiful Sammy ... but they're smart, adorable and loads of personality

Strawberrypicnic · 14/05/2023 01:41

Velvian · 10/05/2023 09:15

I have an autistic DD and we have a greyhound. There are so many needing homes.

They are very gentle and love humans. They spend most of the day lying down. We take ours for 2 walks a day, 20-30 minutes in the morning, 30-60 minutes in the evening. They take a few months to get used to home life, but they walk beautifully on the lead from day 1 and soon find their comfiest spot for sleeping most of the day.

I second a greyhound. No autistic people or kids in my household but he is great with all kids he meets. So gentle, so laid back, so adaptable. Walks brilliantly with a loose lead. People always comment on how well behaved he is when we're out and about but honestly we have done very minimal training with him, he's just chilled out and lovely by nature. It's true that so many of them need homes. Agree also that they take a little while to settle in and show their full personality, but for a little patience you will get years of calm and loving companionship. I'm evangelical about them since we adopted ours last year!

Original poster

vinoandbrie · 14/05/2023 21:05

Thanks so much everyone, lots to consider and I’ve read every response carefully. I think as a first step The Cinnamon Trust would be fantastic, we could do some dog walking and see how it goes. I will contact them, I’d never heard of them before!

OP posts:

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 14/05/2023 21:08

vinoandbrie · 14/05/2023 21:05

Thanks so much everyone, lots to consider and I’ve read every response carefully. I think as a first step The Cinnamon Trust would be fantastic, we could do some dog walking and see how it goes. I will contact them, I’d never heard of them before!

That sounds very sensible and the Cinnamon Trust do such great work