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Other dogs aggressive to my dog

8 replies

tothetower · 09/05/2023 13:59

I have a Yorkie, he's 5 and is lovely, well trained and friendly. My sister got a puppy during lockdown, a cockapoo. They were fine at first but then maybe a year ago her dog started going for mine. Mine will give back, they tend to bark aggressively and then leave alone for a bit.
My dog just wants to be friends, can see his little tail going. But most of the time he just avoids sisters dog who follows him around and won't leave him alone.
Anyway, my sister just shrugs it off and says she thinks it's since she was pregnant and he's being protective. We have started not bringing our dog (to parents house) because they would never think to do the same. But I feel awful leaving him as he's not the problem... or is he? Do some dogs just attract aggression?

I ask as I met my cousin today who has a pomski (indoors both dogs on leads) my dog is tail wagging they're doing their little sniffy thing and then her dog just went for him and wouldn't stop growling. Is he giving off some vibes?

I don't know what I can do here? Have spoken to (fell out with) sister previously about her dog because he jumps up at the kids, tried to steal food they're eating etc. but she just doesn't think it's a problem and read a book that said you shouldn't use the word no! She has a baby now so I'm hoping that changes)

My dog doesn't bark unless it's at birds in the garden. He isn't aggressive to anyone ever, he will stop whatever he is doing if we tell him to instantly.

Any ideas anyone?

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ToBeOrNotToBee · 09/05/2023 14:03

A dog wagging it's tail doesn't mean it's friendly. A wagging tail can mean many things, it's just a small part of dog communication.
From what you've put it sounds like your dog is nervous and is giving out nervous signals which puts dogs on edge.
Mines the same, he's unsure of other dogs after a few negative experiences and now doesn't take the risk.

tothetower · 09/05/2023 14:07

I'd love him not to take the risk but he does every single time. He just wants to lick other dogs faces.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting his tail wagging?

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SirSniffsAlot · 09/05/2023 14:13

I mean this gently, but my first suggestion is to stop thinking of the dogs in terms of good/bad, fault or no fault, innocent or guilty.

There are so many complex micro aggressions between dogs that you will never really know if your dog is giving off a communication that other dogs are firing off (unless you video and slow-mo it).

For example, a fast speed tail wag, as I suspect you described, is not a universal indication of wanting to be friends. You have to look at the type of wag (stiff vs loose), the tail carriage (up vs down) and the dog's other body communication to determine that. It can also indicate a dog that is highly aroused, such as one readying for a fight - or 'bluffing' about being ready to put the other dog off starting something.

Best to come at the whole scenario with the view both dogs are struggling to get along with each other. It neutralises the sense of blame and defensiveness that can go with thinking 'my dog is friendly but yours is a PITA'.

All that said, it is NOT ok to allow any dog to follow another around when the other is attempting to gain distance. In an ideal scenario, your sister's dog would be allowed short interactions with your dog and then controlled so that it couldn't follow yours about (e.g. on lead). This gives them chance to grow to know each other without the relationship being soured by one being more keen than the other.

If your sister won't follow that then you will need to keep the vists with your dog to a minimal and perhaps ensure they contain an alterntive focus for the dogs than each other. e.g. a walk.

In terms of other dogs, yes some dogs do appear to 'attract aggression' but, as above, it's sometimes almost impossible to tell if the target dog did or moved in a way that is more likely to trigger this. Other factors include dogs being intact or unwell.

Mostly, it's best to give strange/unknown dogs good distance from each other until you are comfortable that they are both giving off very relaxed behaviour signals. Note: I said relaxed, not friendly. Friendly signals are easier to misinterpret. Even when correctly interpretted it can be easy for strange dogs to overstep a boundary and trigger a disagreement. Relaxed ones are normally much clearer and suggest the dogs are at ease with each other, thus less chance of it going wrong.

SirSniffsAlot · 09/05/2023 14:14

He just wants to lick other dogs faces.

A great example of how friendly can easily slip into overstepping some dogs' boundaries. Some dogs will accept this but many will find it over familiar and it will trigger a warning.

DamnAndDashIt · 09/05/2023 14:22

There are some things I think we'll never know.

Our first dog was a sweetheart. But the majority of other dogs hated him!

He could literally be sitting nicely at my feet and passing dogs would just lose their shit at him. I lost count of the number of times the visibly shocked owners would apologise and say they'd never known their dog react like that before!

I can only assume that my sweet, well behaved boy was an absolute knobhead in the dog world Grin

DogDream · 09/05/2023 14:22

He just wants to lick other dogs faces.
My dog would react badly to that, to him it would be too much. Sniff butts, jump about together, but don’t lick faces.

he will stop whatever he is doing if we tell him to instantly.
He needs to learn to pick up other dog’s signals though, not rely on you to do it. How he learns that though I’m not sure, I imagine with the help of a behaviourist.

ask as I met my cousin today who has a pomski (indoors both dogs on leads)
Had they met first outside on neutral territory? As a general rule that’s how you introduce dogs. Again the behaviourist will help you with things like that.

tothetower · 09/05/2023 14:31

@DogDream
Yes they've met before, this was neutral today as we were both in my nans house. My cousin just messaged to apologise and said his dog has been like that with other dogs in the park the last few weeks so is looking at getting him neutered (he's only a pup)

Thanks everyone you've given me a lot to think about. I will take of my rose tinted glasses haha. I suppose this is why I asked, he may be giving off signals to other dogs I'm not aware of.

Re sisters dog following him, I intervene often and give him somewhere to be without allowing other dog near him. Think we will have to stick to not taking him that often.

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tothetower · 09/05/2023 14:32

@DamnAndDashIt
Maybe this is it. He's just an arsehole and I'm unaware Grin

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