Coming to terms with a people reactive dog

[dogblues]

I have a 15 month old cocker spaniel that I've come to realise over the last couple of weeks is reactive to people. It crept up on my slowly after he was neutered (biggest regret of my life, I thought he'd be ok as no anxious behaviour beforehand but now I realise he was showing some anxious behaviour and I just didn't realise it).

He has snarled at a couple of people when they've petted him outside the house. Fine. I can make sure no-one pets him. He barks at men on walks. Again. I can handle that. But he goes ballistic at male visitors. And last week he growled at my son. He's not bitten anyone yet, but I think that's where it's going if I don't take measures to stop it.

So I'm seeing an accredited behaviourist and have a plan. Some of it I'm fine with. No off lead. Desensitisation on walks. Even muzzle training I can cope with.

But now the children can never be alone with him without me there. (they are 7 and 4). Today he barked uncontrollably at my Dad who visits every week to look after my kids so now I don't think I can leave him in the house with my parents without me there. And he knows my Dad, so this is entirely new and unpredictable behaviour, clearly he's just getting worse.

And I guess this will have to be forever. I just don't know if I can do this.

Has anyone managed to successfully rehabilitate a people reactive dog so that the dog (and the owners) could lead a fairly normal life? Or do I just have to accept that he'll never get better and all I can do is avoid his triggers? Which will involve constant and exhausting vigilance on my part for the next ten years or however long he lives.

Hi OP, I don't have much advice sorry but just wanted to sympathise. My cocker is 16 months and like you he changed hugely after being neutered as we didn't recognise his anxiety signs. Our boy is mostly OK with people but his resource guarding went off the scale for a while and like you I just couldn't leave him in the same room as my kids (little older than yours). We've found that learning his signals and reading what he's telling us better has really helped and we're all a lot happier with each other now (I should change my name!). Do you have a house line on him? We still have one on ours for when he gets a bit 'twitchy' in the evening and we may need to move him safely from an escalating situation. That's great you've got a decent behaviourist, check in with them and get them to come and see how he is with your dad if it helps so they can advise on that exact problem. Good luck x x

I hate to say it, but I don't think this is a dog who is safe to be in a home with two young children. The risk is too great.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts I'll give it some time for the behaviour training but yes, if there's not a dramatic improvement you're probably right. However @Bitingspaniel I hadn't heard of a house line and that might help. And the kids have already learnt his cues in 24 and are staying away from him. So perhaps there is some hope. I'll give it a little longer anyway but yes I know I must consider rehoming (can you even rehome a reactive dog without it being massively irresponsible?) or considering the absolutely unbearable nuclear option.

@dogblues oh god I hope not 😔. There's a really great Facebook group I was told about on here called Dog Training advice and Support. It's run by behaviourists and is a mine of info. You have to read all their guides beforŵe you ask any questions but I'm sure it'd be worth your time.

Also - are you in the UK? Did you see any of the Dog Academy on Channel 4? There was a beautiful collie on there who hated people, they didn't get too far with him in the v short amount of time they had but there were some good ideas, such as getting him used to just seeing other people, then getting them to move a little more, and then they taught him 'touch' - it was lovely to see.

I'm evangelical about house lines!

@Bitingspaniel My behaviourist is a big fan of The Dog Academy so will check it out, thanks for the info and the solidarity.

I worked for a breed rescue. Hardly anyone wants a reactive dog. Most people want a family dog they can take anywhere. Again, most people don't mind putting in some work with minor issues, but rehoming in your situation is just passing the buck.

Your dc are at massive risk imo. Can you really trust they won't approach him behind your back? Are you really putting so much responsibility on them to stay safe?

@Spanielsarepainless of course no one wants a reactive dog. It’s a nightmare. So the options are have him PTS, which no vet will do when he hasn’t bitten anyone yet. Or try what the behaviourist is telling me to do, though PP are telling me that’s irresponsible parenting. Nightmare.

Don’t lose hope! Hopefully the behaviourist is helping you understand the emotions behind the behaviour so you can support him with his anxiety.
There are options for medication for anxiety which can lower the threshold for his triggers whilst you work on desensitisation. Don’t sleep on the medication if you haven’t tried that yet. I have an anxious dog and there’s absolutely loads of things you can do to help them. It’s not an overnight fix of course - and I recognise the pressure because of your kids - but dogs can and do get less reactive with the right help.

@sapin Thank you. Yes, everything the behaviourist said made total sense and we're doing everything she told us too so fingers crossed there will be some progress.

And I am going to take him to the vets as it's escalated since his last check up only 3 weeks ago so he should be checked over, and can ask about medication options then.

I’m not sure that it is true a vet wouldn’t PTS for behavioural anxiety without a bite happening. They will PTS for animal welfare reasons, usually that is physical ailments but would also be considered where a pet’s behaviour shows a level of stress that basically means they’re not coping with the world they need to live in.
Rehoming is also not off the cards if you wanted to explore that option. Dogs respond to different energies - I always over excite dogs a little, probably because they can sense I’m masking anxiety a lot of the time, and it shows with our dog because his mild positive anxiety is milder still when he’s out with my DH than with me. Friends during my childhood had a Labrador that started to show similar behaviour to what you describe although more aimed at children than men I think. They consulted a behaviourist who ultimately suggested that the best option for their dog was for him to be rehomed to a single male household with an experienced dog owner. They found a friend of a friend who was exactly that and took on their dog. All the worrying behaviour stopped when the dog got an owner and lived in a household that reassured him and reduced his anxiety.

Op, it sounds like you’re doing all the right things speaking to a qualified behaviourist. Have you asked them the question, what do they think is in your dog’s best interests: ranging from PTS, rehoming to a specific type of home or that this is something you can learn to help your dog with?

The following which was posted on Facebook by The perfect puppy company resonates with me:
We expect a lot from our dogs don’t we?

• to be sociable with every person they meet
• to be sociable with every dog they meet
• to be relaxed & confident in every situation
• to understand the societal rules of a totally different species
• to want to interact with us
• to be happy left alone without us
• to be able to ignore their species & breed specific instincts
• to never display any sign of anger or displeasure. Ever. In their entire lives

And often we expect them to do all of this without ever actively teaching them how. We expect it ‘just to happen’. And that’s not fair…

It takes time, effort, empathy & understanding to teach your dog how to live in a human world. It takes more than 6 weeks of puppy class. It takes more than ‘obedience’.

If you haven’t taught it, it’s not fair to get frustrated when they don’t do it!

If you didn't have very young children at home, I would have said it's up to you whether you persevere with management and muzzle training, but I don't think it's going to possible to ensure your children never do anything that could provoke a reaction from the dog.

If a bite that needs medical attention occurs, I believe the hospital are required to report to social services and potentially the police - I really wouldn't want to risk ending up in that position, never mind the risks to your children if they were to get bitten.

The safety of your children must come first and personally I don't think it's very responsible to keep a people-aggressive dog in a home with them. They don't have a choice - you do.

It’s a big ask with young children.

our last dog was people fear aggressive. Not reactive. Just didn’t like to be touched. She tolerated us. Any handling by the vet needed sedation. We were very hands off. We don’t know why she was like that. She was a rescue hand in at 6 months old. We manipulated her environment so she was always at a very low stress level therefore IF there was an incident she would warn rather than bite. She nipped me once when she was aiming for my niece and I got in the way. It was one of two close calls over the 16 and a half years she lived with us. We didn’t do too badly. We learnt her body language in minute detail so could step in at the first tiny signs of stress.

She would not have coped living with young children.

It can be worked on but I don’t think a dog that fears people is going to be safe around children I’m sorry to say. You’ve got a long life managing your dog so think very carefully. I wouldn’t pts - it’s not an insurmountable problem in the right home. Our dog lived an active and full life - she loved walks and she became a competitive agility dog and excelled. But she wasn’t ever going to be a social butterfly and didn’t need to be.

We loved the bones off her as she had many great qualities. But there was enormous relief when we let her go that she’d never bitten.

My friend has just rehomed a young cocker spaniel with a similar history to yours through Spaniel Aid. He’s doing well (they are childless and experienced) and loved and his former owners did the best thing for all their welfare. Living with a special needs dog is hard.

Im sure you may have tried this already but can you section off an area with a baby gate, so when your dad comes round he can stay there. Toss him some treats and get your dad to ignore him. There must be something that is worrying him.

If you've come to realise this over the last couple of weeks, that suggests you are still in the very early days of understanding what is happening for your dog.

I am guessing, but just to be sure, you have had a recent vet check (i.e. since he snarled at your child or barked at your Dad)? These behaviours could be triggered by something medical, in spaniels the obvious suggestions are something like a very painful ear infection, making their tolerance much lower than usual. That's worth doing and probably somethingyour behaviourist has already insisted on.

At 4 (and possibly 7), your child ideally should not be left alone with any dog, but of course one with a history of aggression means the risk of getting this wrong is even greater.

Assuming your behaviourist has not only talked to you about training, but also ways to arrange your home to keep everyone safe while you make a start with the dog, I would keep going with that for a little while - but not too long.

Safety is parament, even more important that the dog's welfare (and I don't say that lightly) so if your dog has to spend more time than ideal, secure in a room by themseleves, maybe behind a baby gate or similar - as a TEMPORARY measure - then that's what has to happen to keep everyone safe.

Living for ten years on constant vigilence is very hard indeed. Through that time your children will grow up and want to have friends over etc. That's a lot to ask of your whole family and is a lot to ask of the dog.

Without a medical cause and without significant improvement in the short term, I would consider rehoming. I've known SpanielAid (as mentioned above) to rehome reactive dogs and often they do much better in quieter, rural, adult only homes. However, they have the best shot at this is they have not got a history of biting, which is another reason why you don't have months and months to make the decison.

It's a shit hand, OP. I've seen the heartbreak caused when the dog's personality and what is needed by their family are so mismatched like this. Reactivity is a complex business and multi factoral so I wouldn't beat yourself up over neutering etc. There will be much more than that playing a hand here.

(That said: this is one of the reasons I am not keen on neutering at such a young age - these behaviours often don't boil up until a dog is 1-2 years old and if you've neutered early, you don't get a chance to discover them until its too late. Not a criticism, just food for thought for any future dog)

Thank you @SirSniffsAlot for your thoughtful and helpful post. Yes the behaviourist recommended and we are doing all those things. Thankfully we have a room that he can be in that he's happy in away from the kids as well as gated areas in the family rooms so I'm confident I can keep the children safe in the short term. Likewise I hear what you're saying about rehoming before he gets any worse. He's a lovely dog most of the time and it really is a couple of weeks that I've really started to worry and you're right, he's not been to the vet since then so that should be my first port of call.

No advice just wanted to say you sound like a very responsible dog parent in a very difficult situation that couldn’t have been predicted.
hopefully the behaviourist can help find a way through. My children are a similar age and if this was our dog I think we would find it very difficult to continue to have the dog as part of our family.

Echo the above, talk to spaniel aid, two minutes on their site will show you they are able to help dogs with various behavioural problems, including a bite history, but obviously if you think in the long term it’s not going to work I’d rehome before the behaviour deteriorates, I’d personally be very worried with small children that he might bite.

I have no advice but just want to say that I understand your predicament. We’ve had our 2 year old rescue for 8 months and along with a lot of other anxiety issues he is also people reactive.
He wasn’t like this for the first 3 month but he suddenly bit us all in December which turned out to be due to a double ear infection. However, since then he is so very wary of people. Luckily our dc are 17 and 15 but I am still constantly on edge when we are around anyone (he is fine with dh and I).
I even have a yellow don’t touch lead but people take no notice as he is so cuddly looking they naturally put their hands out to touch him. I’m finding myself trying more and more to walk in lonely places or at times when there are less people out. We are working with a behaviourist but they are so damn expensive.
I don’t know what our future is but I understand your concerns, life isn’t much fun atm as we can’t have people round and I can’t take him to anyone’s either.

Just want to echo others here. You're doing everything right.

I had a reactive collie and it got worse as he aged. I think we didn't recognise his stress signals. Also that he had some joint pain and took a while to get medication correct. We also had behaviouralist help.

We had to reset our expectations and grieve the easy dog we lost. No idea really what started it. Maybe pain looking back?

We also had yellow leads etc. plug in adaptil stuff, supplements, collars. Whatever.

We'd do our walks away from other people/dogs and made our peace with the dog we had.

Anyway I'm just lending you support as having a reactive dog is hard.

Hi @dogblues , I just wondered if you were able to share some of the anxiety signals you said you missed before having your dog neutered. Ours is due to be done in a few weeks time and I’m ever so worried that we are missing something like this. No problem if not, thank you 😊

Four is very little to be reliably looking at the dog’s warning signals.

@CindersAgain I wouldn't leave the child alone with the dog, never have. It's just to stop the kids being all over the dog when I am there without me constantly reminding. I didn't realise before that this was stressing the dog out (licking lips, yawning). Now I do. But yes you're right, it's me that needs to notice the signs, not the children. Good to have this at the forefront of my mind that all this is for me to do, not them.

@Mbear The amount he used to bark in the garden mostly. To be honest there weren't loads of signs. He was a pretty happy little dog. I wish I could put the clock back and give him the implant first to see what effect the drop in testosterone would have on him.

@mbear Also he's always been terrible in the car which might have been a sign he's predisposed to anxiety.