How to support friend who has a new dog

[Rainallnight]

I need to be upfront about the fact that I don’t like dogs. Mostly actively dislike them, in fact. But I need to ask advice.

My very, very good friend has just got a new dog. It is a major, major thing in her life, and it’s a bit of a child substitute for various reasons.

How can I be nice and supportive? What sort of things might be expect from me? I don’t really ‘get’ dog ownership so I’m worried there are things I might not think of. Should I get it a present at Christmas? I guess I should just generally show an interest in how it’s doing?

I’d be grateful for advice from dog lovers. Thank you.

might she expect from me.

Honestly ask your friend. I love my dog but would never expect Christmas presents for her. Mainly cos she's on the naughty list.

DSis loves her dog and I do buy him a Christmas present. But she's spent nearly twenty years buying presents for my kids so it's very small payback!

Tbh though it's absolutely fine to show a polite interest and no more and if you don't like being around the dog say so. Dog owners who expect everyone to like Mr Toodlefluff as much as they do are both boring and the kind of idiots who don't train their dog not to jump up at everyone, because everyone likes kisses from Mr Toodlefluff. Politely explaining you don't feel that way will do her a favour.

A welcome to your new home gift in the form of a toy would probably be welcomed (something like a Lickimat is always welcomed), but I wouldn't worry too much at fussing the dog at Christmas etc, I'm sure your friend will do plenty of that!

Asking how the dog is doing is also lovely, expect her phone to be 90% pictures of a dog now haha! Maybe plan an outing to a dog-friendly location when we have nice weather? It would certainly be more pleasant for you to be out and about with a dog where they'll be busy on their sniff-ari, rather than sat at home with a dog where a dog is more likely to want to be in your face and see what you're up to.

Be up front with your friend about being wary around dogs, of course don't say you don't like them, just that you've never really been around them and aren't keen on the idea of dogs jumping on you, which is 100% fair enough and should be respected by any dog owner. Especially for larger breeds with big muddy paws!

I don’t buy my own dog presents at Christmas - he gets plenty all year round! - so I certainly wouldn’t expect anyone else to!

What?

Just say 'aww' on photos and get on with your life.

Weird.

That’s the thing, she’s been so kind and generous to my DC over the years, I don’t want to get this wrong.

Thanks for all the advice so far. Going somewhere outside is a great idea. I do find it terrifying when they’re in a small space trying to get in your face. But I can’t avoid him forever!

Awww bless you for trying tho. It's a bit like my sister she ain't keen on babies and we have 3 and I always appreciate the effort she makes even just a nice comment and knowing her feelings I don't take them to her house but will visit mum's and invite her over if she wants to see them.

I’d definitely suggest going for walks together in nice places! My friend loves doing that (although he loves my dog), but he enjoys all the new walks I’ve found simply because of my dog.

Don't call the dog 'it'!
And definitely a Christmas present, just a packet of chews or biscuits.

This 🤷‍♀️

Warning that your friend might now be Available a lot less and send a lot less messages.

as a non dog owning friend - don’t take it personally

I have a dog. Most of my friends do not. Some of my friends love dogs (or have children who love dogs) but cant have one themselves for various reasons and view ours as a bit of a surrogate dog. One will even look after her for weekends. Others do not particularly like dogs (although luckily none are scared or allergic) and some are indifferent (but some of these have become fond of our dog over the years). I just leave it up to them how much attention to they want to pay to her - she does get the odd token Christmas gift.

I would say the main thing is to be understanding that the dog will limit her a bit, particularly when it is little and cant be left for long. Even now, 4 hours is an absolute maximum for my dog and if a friend wanted me to go to the theatre that could take me close to the 4 hours with travel time so i would not be able to have a drink or dinner before/after unless my DH is at home (usually the case) or i can make some other arrangements (which we have to do when both DH and i are invited somewhere) which can take a while to get in place/feel comfortable with.

If you often meet up at each other's houses, it is worth thinking about whether you are happy for your friend to bring the dog when she comes to yours. That can make a big difference.

Just to say OP you sound like a wonderful friend If your friend buys your children Xmas and birthday presents do the same for her dog perhaps, long walks together, visits to dog friendly cafes and pubs, be understanding when she can’t do certain plans because of the dog.