Puppy jealousy

[SurreyisSunny]

We collected our miniature poodle puppy on Good Friday. He’s settling in well.

My DS is 3 and seems to like him and enjoyed playing with him initially but now seems bored and is not treating the puppy well. His behaviour is terrible (hitting me, trying to bite and generally acting up), I think due to jealousy (he’s an only child and I’m a solo mum so he’s had a lot of my time) and also boredom as he can’t go out until the puppy has had all his jabs. Thankfully he goes to nursery 4 days a week.

We are showing him lots of attention but keen for tips on what else we can do.

He’s never left alone with the puppy.

He is 'not treating the puppy well'? What does this mean?

My DS is 3 and seems to like him and enjoyed playing with him initially but now seems bored and is not treating the puppy well.

Your 3 year old should be nowhere near the puppy unless it is for a very closely supervised gentle stroke. Puppies and miniature breeds are very fragile and as they grow are little crocodiles with razor sharp teeth and claws, they use their mouth to check things out and can easily hurt and potentially scar a small child.

Puppies and small children are a dangerous mix for both of them. Hope you are prepared and have thoroughly researched all the training (the puppy and your ds!) and managing keeping them separate for many months, or longer, unless closely supervised, while still meeting both their needs.

Wait till the biting starts. It’s pretty fierce. I looked like a torture victim until we got it under control.

You need to keep them separate unless you are there. 3 is very young to understand how to behave around a dog. My nephew is 4 and still needs supervising with their very laid back and gentle greyhound just in case he does something silly.

Your son is just being a typical 3 year old!

... thinking about it my DC (18 &13) are still jealous of the dogs (apparently they get more attention ✔ Better, more expensive treats ✔.and if there was a fire, I would rescue the dogs first ❌)

Just a little tip : play should be shot and closly supervised.
Try things like rolling a ball on the floor rather than tag type games.
Encourage puppy to return and make it drop the ball by placing a treat on the floor.

... and lots of cuddles with your son!

This is why people say not to get puppies when you have toddlers and small children in the house.

Toddlers don't understand how to behave around dogs and puppies are just babies themselves and have no idea how to behave around humans, let alone small ones.

You need to keep the toddler and the puppy separate unless you are right there to supervise. As soon as you walk away, even for a minute, one of them has to come with you.

Advice such as it’s not good to have a young child and a puppy is not helpful. I have the dog now. Yes of course I researched before getting one. Poodles are recommended as family dogs good with young children.

It’s a good time for my family set up as the puppy will not need to go to daycare (for max 2 days a week) until September 24 by which point he’ll hopefully be beyond the worst behaviour.

Re my DS I’ve realised I need to show him more how to behave to the puppy, how to stroke him etc. He’s a very kind boy. I’ll have a look to see if there’s any books (the sort of guidance I was hoping for) and of course keep giving him lots of cuddles.

Your ds is probably reacting to the change in your house, a puppy really does affect everything! He's noticed that you are at the beck and call of the dog and is maybe jealous.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about them creating a bond yet, in fact with the teething stage coming up the less time your ds spends playing with the dog the better. Then, once the dog gets to about 5 months, it will be less bitey and more receptive to training. As a poodle, training will be really successful as they're very intelligent. I'm sure your son will enjoy teaching the pup tricks and their bond will grow from there.

At our local pets at home they have a puppy section which displays puppy guides, you could flick through their books to help.

Good luck!

Advice such as it’s not good to have a young child and a puppy is not helpful. I have the dog now.

Might help others though. No need to be snippy, its good advice to wait until children are older. I think I would expect nothing at all from either for a few months and just aim to keep them separate and meet both their needs. Anything else will be a bonus.

Advice such as it’s not good to have a young child and a puppy is not helpful.

It wasn't really meant as advice - more an explanation as to why you're having the problems that you are.

I have the dog now. Yes of course I researched before getting one. Poodles are recommended as family dogs good with young children.

The internet will say anything you want it to say, but most reputable websites will say that you should wait until your children are school age before getting a puppy - for a whole number of reasons.

All you can do now is keep them apart unless you're right there to supervise.

Advice such as it’s not good to have a young child and a puppy is not helpful. I have the dog now.

You havent had the dog long, if it is from a reputable breeder (which I doubt as no reputable breeder would have given one of their pups to someone in your circumstances), they would take it back and have a waiting list of more appropriate homes.

My DS is 3 and seems to like him and enjoyed playing with him initially but now seems bored and is not treating the puppy well.

3 year olds should not be doing anything near puppies unless supervised and gently stroking them. If the child isn’t treating the puppy well then you separate them until he learns to treat an animal with kindness.

Advice such as it’s not good to have a young child and a puppy is not helpful

It’s not helpful in your view because you don’t want to hear it!

This facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport has excellent advice and will also answer specific questions. Good luck, I have children, used to childmind babies and children and I have always had a dog so it is manageable. My golden rule was to never, ever, leave a young child unsupervised with a dog or puppy.

I think that’s a bit drastic. If the OP keeps them mostly apart and is aware of what is coming down the line it will work. Personally I’d not do it but everyone is different. Puppies need so much management and input in order to be well functioning adult dogs I couldn’t do both.