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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Cousins Dog is having needs neglected

74 replies

CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:07

Hi all. I am concerned about a family dog so potentially a very touchy subject and not one I have raised with anyone. We are all quite close so we have seen what is happening.

My cousin and her boyfriend got an XL bully from a friend. They never ever walk her. Ever. She is 15 months old and has been out maybe 6 times. She is destructive and clearly bored stiff. She is happy and waggy for now and does have a small garden she does loops of but I am very concerned about her long term care and lack of socialisation. My cousin is scared to walk her and has no experience of dogs, and definitely none of large breeds.

What would you do? If anything

OP posts:
OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:10

Send her the news reports of the poor woman killed by her two XL bullies and suggest she gets rid of it quickly - not through Gumtree or passing it on to someone equally clueless. She's courting disaster if she carries on like this.

AgathaX · 04/04/2023 08:13

That's so worrying, a potential disaster waiting to happen. I assume your cousin hasn't done any training and can't control her since she's scared to walk her?
I think I'd speak to the RSPCA. They won't do anything as such, but they may give advice as to what you should do. I might also be tempted to contact my local police station, again for advice.
Have you, out anyone else, spoken to your cousin about this?

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:16

Thanks so much both. I thought I was over reacting but you've massively reassured me. She lives with a 10 year old boy too and I am terrified. I will call the RSPCA for a chat.

It's just a fashion breed and she is a beautiful dog, really lovely, but won't stay that way if she is bored, under stimulated and can't get rid of her energy.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:17

She can't control her and they have had no training at all. I'm so worried

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 04/04/2023 08:18

Why would you think you are overreacting?

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:18

My cousin is super defensive and won't hear a word said about the situation. Unapproachable. My mum has taken her and the dog out as she is a dog Walker and says the dog is super around other dogs, really great at the moment, but this won't last if she's not taken daily.

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 04/04/2023 08:19

My cousin is super defensive and won't hear a word said about the situation.

Oh well.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:19

@GrazingSheep it's just so normalised in my family - they didn't walk their last dog either.

I have a medium dog, walk him twice daily, eats well, happy, and it breaks my heart thinking of that dog and the potential future / danger for them all. It's not fair on her

OP posts:
OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:20

For the sake of that child, the dog has got to go. I doubt the RSPCA will help much to be honest, if the dog is fed and has water and garden access. But this is a catastrophe in the making and an innocent ten year old who has no choice about living with that animal is at huge risk from her irresponsible behaviour and utter ignorance. Why on earth did she take the dog in the first place? Luckily you won't have to search hard to find multiple reports of that breed savaging and killing adults and children alike. Hopefully she's a much better mother than dog owner and will get rid of it to a reputable shelter asap.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:20

@OfCourseImNameChanging then I would be accused of falling for stereotypes of these dogs and they're not all like that. I know they're not, but these circumstances are the breeding ground for a disaster

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:22

@OfCourseImNameChanging she was there when then dog was born as it's mother is a friends dog. She has had her since birth really, was always round then she was tiny and then took her home when she was ready.

The boy is her brother, not son, so I'm not sure she has the same level of concern as a mother

OP posts:
OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:23

They're É“red to be like that. Why aren't other breeds in the news at the same rate? Don't encourage her to take it out given she has no control, it shouldn't be in public if untrained. If it was just her, I'd say leave her to her own stupidity but for the child I would risk my relationship with her and speak extremely plainly. I'd also consider reporting it to the child's school. Her behaviour is neglectful.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:23

I agree the RSPCA would go round and see a happy dog with food, water, bed, garden etc

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:25

Thank you @OfCourseImNameChanging

What a bloody situation. Family relationship destruction or injured child. What a choice. I know which I need to do but blimey it will blow up.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:25

Hadn't thought of the school. Do you think they would be interested? He has ADHD so has no off switch which makes it worse I think

OP posts:
OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:26

I completely sympathise and you might not get through to her. I would have to try though. Clearly her friend is as much of an idiot, breeding those dogs without a fucking clue. I wish there was some enforcement to stop this from happening.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:27

I know, it's ridiculous. It will happen, but more people will have to be injured / die before it happens

OP posts:
OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:28

CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:25

Hadn't thought of the school. Do you think they would be interested? He has ADHD so has no off switch which makes it worse I think

He's living in a dangerous situation and has an added vulnerability so I'd hope they're interested, yes. There might not be much they can do, but from a safeguarding perspective they should know and perhaps there is some action they can take. Maybe she will listen to them?

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/04/2023 08:29

That's a good idea. Thanks.

OP posts:
MisgenderedSwan · 04/04/2023 08:30

Is your mum nearby? As your mum is experienced could you convince your cousin to pay your mum to walk it daily? Whilst looking for a more appropriate home. I don't think dogs like that should be owned by inexperienced owners ever.

OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:33

MisgenderedSwan · 04/04/2023 08:30

Is your mum nearby? As your mum is experienced could you convince your cousin to pay your mum to walk it daily? Whilst looking for a more appropriate home. I don't think dogs like that should be owned by inexperienced owners ever.

I think the opposite! As the dog gets bigger, with no reinforcement of any training the mum can do for an hour a day in its other 23 hours a day at home, this puts the OP's mum and other members of the public (or other dogs and animals eg the police horse recently mauled by one of these things!) at significant risk. If the OP's mum was a strong, capable, competent and very experienced dog owner she could adopt it but I'd be pretty unhappy with that too given the start to life it's had. I would very much discourage your mum from ever taking it out again, OP.

WakeMeUpInspring · 04/04/2023 08:38

Bloody hell. Terrifying. That dog is a ticking time bomb. I wouldn't be encouraging my mum to walk it or visiting her house.

MisgenderedSwan · 04/04/2023 08:42

@OfCourseImNameChanging I was assuming that her mother was strong and capable as the op said she was a dog walker!

GreySweater · 04/04/2023 08:47

I agree with a PP, a difficult conversation now is better than a potential tragic situation later down the line. Your cousin being scared to take the dog out suggests she knows she has a potentially very dangerous dog. Surely she isn't happy with this situation either? Perhaps she is more open to the conversation than you think - esp if you can offer some solutions / help her. Is her boyfriend the one that is more fixated on keeping this dog do you think? Does he know your cousin is scared of taking it out and the risk it poses to the child?

OfCourseImNameChanging · 04/04/2023 08:53

MisgenderedSwan · 04/04/2023 08:42

@OfCourseImNameChanging I was assuming that her mother was strong and capable as the op said she was a dog walker!

Yes, but very unlikely to be strong and capable enough to handle an untrained fully grown XL bully capable of mauling a grown man to death which is what this dog will be soon. If the mum is trying her best on one walk a day but none of that training is backed up at home, the inconsistency is likely to make the dog worse not better! So I meant if she really was able to take on a dog like this (which I doubt even though she's an experienced dog walker -this kind of dog is a different beast altogether to most others) then it would need to be full time, not just as a daily walker.

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