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The doghouse

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Original poster

Resource guarding

56 replies

locomum83 · 31/03/2023 20:27

So we have a border collie, who we got from rescue at 8 weeks old.
We realised pretty early in that resource guarding with his food would be an issue, we think it stems from communal feeding at the shelter.
We have young kids and have taught them from day one never to go near the dog when he's eating or sleeping these are the number 1 rules, by which they abide for the most part.

Bear with me for the next bit...

So the dog now 15 months is starting to get bored of his grain free (very expensive) food, so puts off eating it unless he's certain there's nothing else. sometimes il mix it with some scraps or gravy etc, but he always eventually eats it.

He hadn't yet had his tea, before DH took him out for a walk, when he returned home he trotted into the living room to where my 5 year old was finishing up her tea (never normally eats tea in the living room, just let her as a little Friday treat) as dog was out for his walk anyway. He approached her and she was excited to see him so put her arms round him to hug him and he snapped at her scratching her nose. Her nose bled a lot but when we got it cleaned up saw that there was barely any mark looks more like a tiny paper cut really, but can't be easily seen.
She is naturally very shaken and upset, and we naturally were very cross with the dog putting him outside immediately. But being a collie and being very clever, he knew straight away what he'd done, and has been skulking in his bed ever since.
He's usually got a lovely nature with the children even the toddler, licking and playing etc, but the food has always been a worry for me.
Our initial reaction was "we've got to get rid of the dog" but in hindsight now, I know exactly what went wrong with the whole situation and that it could very easily been avoided.
I know this is incident is entirely my fault, on a number of levels, so I feel very guilty to consider rehoming the dog when the situation could of been avoided. However with 3 young kids in the house and life often busy, I cannot take the chance that this could ever happen again, and god forbid be much worse.
What on earth should I do? I love the dog dearly he's usually a great boy, but this is a massive risk.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 20:30

Good luck with rehoming him if that’s what you decide. Rescues are groaning under the weight of dogs being relinquished.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 20:32

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 20:30

Good luck with rehoming him if that’s what you decide. Rescues are groaning under the weight of dogs being relinquished.

Yes don't I know it! This is why we opted to rehome from a shelter, I'm a massive advocate for animals in rescue, it breaks my heart and I don't want to add to that burden, but what risk does that put my children at?

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 20:34

Is there a return agreement with the shelter?

mrsbyers · 31/03/2023 20:35

Just put a dog gate in between where the children are eating and the dogs bed area or shut the door ?

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/03/2023 20:35

I'm no expert but my dog-whisperer grandfather never ever let us hug the dog and I never let DD. I thought it was a huge no-no.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 20:37

mrsbyers · 31/03/2023 20:35

Just put a dog gate in between where the children are eating and the dogs bed area or shut the door ?

We did this at the start tbh and not sure why we stopped, he was out in the hall when we were eating. The problem is young kids eat on the run, and collies are notorious for theiving food. So if theyve got something he'll follow them. I guess we could have a serious conversation about food only at the kitchen table

OP posts:
BernadetteIsMySister · 31/03/2023 20:37

Doesn't sound like resource guarding but a dog scared by the child putting its arms around it. You need to teach your children better dog manners.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/03/2023 20:40

The problem is young kids eat on the run

We don't do that because of choking.

Better dog and child manners all around!

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 20:45

My rescue ‘bit’ the dog walker’s daughter’s hand. It was a one off walk. Do not let him off the lead I said. Do not let him get within 500 yards of a tennis ball I said. Soo. Off lead. Throwing ball. Daughter picked it up and he jumped at her hand with his mouth open and ….

There were tears but they accepted it was not a deliberate bite.

Same with your boy.

But it’s your shout with your kids.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 31/03/2023 20:51

The incident that you describe with your daughter isn't resource guarding, it's your dog telling you he's uncomfortable with being hugged.

I wouldn't let young children wander around with food anyway, so you should be able to separate them from the dog at all times while either party is eating.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 21:04

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 20:34

Is there a return agreement with the shelter?

Yes there is, he has to be surrendered back to them if for any reason we can no longer keep him.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 21:05

Well that’s good.

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 21:05

Do they have a behaviourist you can speak to? My smallish rescue has loads.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 21:07

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 21:05

Do they have a behaviourist you can speak to? My smallish rescue has loads.

Yea we've had 1:1 with a local dog behaviourist when we got him and discussed RG she said just to keep him out of the equation when it comes to our eating times. I feel like such a failure

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 21:11

Don’t beat yourself up. Just do your best to keep eating children and the dog separate

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 21:15

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 21:11

Don’t beat yourself up. Just do your best to keep eating children and the dog separate

Thank you that's a kind comment

OP posts:
GuyFawkesDay · 31/03/2023 21:25

That's not resource guarding.

It's a dog unhappy with being hugged. They don't like it.

If your kids are old enough then it's just time to teach them no dog cuddles.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 22:10

GuyFawkesDay · 31/03/2023 21:25

That's not resource guarding.

It's a dog unhappy with being hugged. They don't like it.

If your kids are old enough then it's just time to teach them no dog cuddles.

He is often hugged and watching his body language he will respond by licking and rolling on his side/back in a manner that tells me he is not threatened. He loves the children and has a favourite spot at the bottom of my daughters bed. I am confident that he felt threatened at the prospect of having the food he lad lined up for himself, be taken from him.

OP posts:
Newpeep · 31/03/2023 22:18

locomum83 · 31/03/2023 22:10

He is often hugged and watching his body language he will respond by licking and rolling on his side/back in a manner that tells me he is not threatened. He loves the children and has a favourite spot at the bottom of my daughters bed. I am confident that he felt threatened at the prospect of having the food he lad lined up for himself, be taken from him.

Show quote history

Rolling on the back is feeling threatened. Licking is appeasement too. Both signs of stress.

You need to separate them with food. Collies actually aren’t that foodie as a rule so it may be a diet incompatibility.

Collies and kids can work but often they’re too much for each other. Shit happens. You either change how you do things or return him. Nobody is going to judge you. Juggling dogs and kids is hard and collies are not your average dog.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 22:40

He's definitely a foodie when it comes to anything other than what he's supposed to eat, but isn't bothered about treats when training etc, he'll turn his nose up at some. He's more motivated by toys, but he has a really good leave it, so he's generally not too bad wi try RG of toys, it seems to be with things or foods that he knows he's not really supposed to have, he's been the same from day dot.
I plan to have a very serious conversation with the kids tomorrow about how we all are around the dog. I think we will put it down to a one off due to a number of different factors, but if something similar happens again I will have no choice but to send him back, although this would break my heart as he's my boy.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 22:44

Rolling on their back is not always a sign of feeling threatened. A spaniel sprawl is a happy thing.

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 22:45

UrsulaPandress · 31/03/2023 22:44

Rolling on their back is not always a sign of feeling threatened. A spaniel sprawl is a happy thing.

Agreed, I've become very familiar with his body language especially around the kids, since we've got him, and I know exactly if he's had enough

OP posts:
justgettingthroughtheday · 31/03/2023 22:52

You need a behaviourist.

You need to stop your children hugging the dog.

The children should always eat at the table and never on the move.

You need much clearer rules for the children about how they behave around the dog.

Keep the dog and children apart if you are not directly supervising.

I'd swap the dog off crappy kibble and give them a decent fresh or raw food diet too

Original poster
locomum83 · 31/03/2023 22:56

justgettingthroughtheday · 31/03/2023 22:52

You need a behaviourist.

You need to stop your children hugging the dog.

The children should always eat at the table and never on the move.

You need much clearer rules for the children about how they behave around the dog.

Keep the dog and children apart if you are not directly supervising.

I'd swap the dog off crappy kibble and give them a decent fresh or raw food diet too

I will consult our behaviourist

I will speak to the children about hugging the dog, it's only one of them that does this anyway, the one who was snapped at.

Kids eat on the move sometimes, that's kids, my fault entirely that the girl was eating in the living room but to dog wasn't even in the house at the time, he only came in when he arrived back from his walk and that's when the incident happened.

The food is not "crappy" it's a high quality, locally made grain free diet which is expensive to buy, he's enjoyed it up to recently I think he's got bored with the flavour.

But yes, lessons learned, we will try better

OP posts:
ClosingTimey · 31/03/2023 22:58

I’d struggle to keep him when you have young DC.

It’s easy for people to say “keep food separate” and “tell your DC not to hug dog” but in a normal and hectic family home you can’t spend all your time policing that and your daughter already had her face bitten. He didn’t growl first to warn her, or growl and lunge without contact, he went straight to breaking the skin.

I’ve got several DC and also have spaniels. The DC are respectful of them but they are also children, and love stroking and playing spending time with the dogs. If the older dog is very tired and not feeling sociable then he might give a low growl just to tell them to back off, and the DC would straight away.

I couldn’t relax if I thought there was a risk at any time that a child might be bitten though, and that I needed to separate them or watch the whole time, especially couldn’t have done it when young. They did and do also eat on the go at times, and have friends in and out who have snacks, DC do.

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