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Single people with dog(s)

28 replies

Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:15

I love my dog beyond words. I sometimes look at her and well up as the love is unbelievable. However, I am really struggling to have any kind of social life as dogs are so tying. I can't get dog care at weekends. There are no dog walkers or doggy day cares near me open at weekends. She's challenging so I can't just trust her with anyone. I feel a bit isolated and stuck. I take her out to lots of places but it limits me to dog friendly spots which aren't plentiful where I am. There is absolutely no chance I'd give her up so looking for ideas to help this situation. I can leave her for up to 4 hours but my friends live an hour away (and an hour back) so it limits how long I can see people for. I can take her with me sometimes but it limits things like cinema, meals (she's not great in restaurants) etc. I just feel a bit isolated. Help!

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Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:15

I work in the week so social life is non existence in the week.

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tabulahrasa · 22/03/2023 20:23

Dog walkers and daycares tend to have weekends off because most people use them while they’re at work.

I’d look for home boarders, they’re more likely to work weekends and might be quite happy doing a part day instead of actually boarding overnight, definitely worth asking anyway.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 22/03/2023 20:35

What about borrow my doggy? I know you say challenging but if they are ok to take to dog friendly places and go to daycare without being super reactive they can’t be that bad?

Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:37

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 22/03/2023 20:35

What about borrow my doggy? I know you say challenging but if they are ok to take to dog friendly places and go to daycare without being super reactive they can’t be that bad?

It's not reactivity. It's resource guarding which isn't as evident in dog walking or doggy day care situations. Would be more evident in home boarding.

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Suzi888 · 22/03/2023 20:37

Kennels/ boarding? Not ideal and depends on the dog but an option.

What does she do actually? Is it something you could work on?

Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:39

Suzi888 · 22/03/2023 20:37

Kennels/ boarding? Not ideal and depends on the dog but an option.

What does she do actually? Is it something you could work on?

Resource guarding. There's not a cure. It's manageable for me as I know her so well but unfamiliar person could be at risk.

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Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:39

Suzi888 · 22/03/2023 20:37

Kennels/ boarding? Not ideal and depends on the dog but an option.

What does she do actually? Is it something you could work on?

She's nervous in nature so kennels may not suit. Too busy and noisy for her.

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RunningFromInsanity · 22/03/2023 20:47

I hear you! Single, reactive dog owner here.
Having all the responsibility is hard. No one to share it with.
It’s such a tie. And sadly has probably put me off getting another dog.

Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:49

RunningFromInsanity · 22/03/2023 20:47

I hear you! Single, reactive dog owner here.
Having all the responsibility is hard. No one to share it with.
It’s such a tie. And sadly has probably put me off getting another dog.

😥 it's hard isn't it.

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Suzi888 · 22/03/2023 21:03

They may take her on. Boarding can be expensive and a lot of walkers only do it ad hoc, they don’t commit to every weekend. You could make enquiries, if it’s a single, adult only home with experience then they may be ok with it.

Cyberworrier · 22/03/2023 21:08

Do you have any friends or family who would occasionally take your dog for an afternoon or evening? Maybe in return for some exchange favour, eg babysitting?

It is really hard, I feel your pain. I got my dog with my ex and was used to being able to leave dog with him if I went out with friends, it’s been quite an adjustment trying to establish a social life whilst with sole responsibility for the dog. I’m lucky that family/friends are happy to occasionally look after him.

Borris · 22/03/2023 21:11

I wouldn’t leave my dog longer than 4 hours in the day. But in the evening at a weekend if she’s had plenty exercise then I’d happily leave her say 6pm - 12. She just sleeps on the sofa then anyway

MadAndGlad · 22/03/2023 21:13

I hear you too! Another single person here with rescue resource guarder Cocker Spaniel. He's so much better now than when I got him 4 years ago but it's always a concern if he comes across something while we are out. I love him so much but yes, very hard work at times.

FastFood · 22/03/2023 21:34

Oh god, I relate so much to that OP!
I live alone and I have a dog that I can't leave alone for now (still a baby, we're working on it)
He's tiny so I manage to take him with me almost everywhere.
When I'll go out without him, my plan is to leave him with at a boarder, or a friend's house and to get him back the next morning, so I can enjoy a night out.
I used to do that loads with my old dog and that was so freeing.
It's relentless and a bit depressing sometimes, isn't it?

You said she was challenging, I think I'd personally work on that, and on making her "boarding ready". Doesn't mean solving her resource guarding problem but that can be finding ways to mitigate that for a boarder. Crate, pen, a list of triggers that you give to the person, something like that.
Also, if you're talking about leaving her in the evening, keep in mind that she'll be asleep most of the time so probably not THAT much of a challenge for anyone who's with her.

In addition to that, you can work on having her to settle and be quiet in cafés and restaurants.

Another option is to be the one who invites people at yours.

Strawberrypicnic · 24/03/2023 01:03

Can you find a walking group for your breed in or near your area? If you can get to know other owners who understand your breed (and your two dogs get on) you might be able to set up an informal reciprocal arrangement whereby you occasionally take each other's dogs for a day or half a day.

tabulahrasa · 24/03/2023 05:58

Violaviolin · 22/03/2023 20:37

It's not reactivity. It's resource guarding which isn't as evident in dog walking or doggy day care situations. Would be more evident in home boarding.

You’re not necessarily after boarding though, just someone that works weekends.

So no harm in asking a boarder if they’d walk if that makes sense.

If you’ve a trainer or behaviourist, ask them for recommendations?

I’m in reactive dog groups on Facebook - they’re good for personal recommendations of people able to take dogs with behavioural issues.

Ylvamoon · 24/03/2023 06:49

Join your local dog training club! Try out some obedience, agility or even dancing with dogs and make new friends.

HappiestSleeping · 27/03/2023 19:06

For resource guarding have you tried feeding from your hand, either holding the bowl, or holding handfuls of food? I'm not a big advocate of taking food away from a dog, but feeding from your hand will help reduce any signs of aggression if anyone goes near the feeding dog.

Rainbowstripes · 27/03/2023 23:23

I agree with the person who said join a dog training club! You'll probably find it will help with some of the issues your having but even if not you'll meet other doggy people. I have some really close friends from dog training/agility and we'll often walk/train/pub/chill together x

HamBone · 27/03/2023 23:43

Borris · 22/03/2023 21:11

I wouldn’t leave my dog longer than 4 hours in the day. But in the evening at a weekend if she’s had plenty exercise then I’d happily leave her say 6pm - 12. She just sleeps on the sofa then anyway

I was thinking the same. Our dog will sleep after a good walk and can be left to go out for the afternoon or evening without having any accidents.

Violaviolin · 28/03/2023 08:27

HappiestSleeping · 27/03/2023 19:06

For resource guarding have you tried feeding from your hand, either holding the bowl, or holding handfuls of food? I'm not a big advocate of taking food away from a dog, but feeding from your hand will help reduce any signs of aggression if anyone goes near the feeding dog.

She doesn't just guard food. It's other things too e.g. fluff on the floor, my pyjamas if she sees them on my bed/floor, things she finds on walks etc.

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Violaviolin · 28/03/2023 08:28

Rainbowstripes · 27/03/2023 23:23

I agree with the person who said join a dog training club! You'll probably find it will help with some of the issues your having but even if not you'll meet other doggy people. I have some really close friends from dog training/agility and we'll often walk/train/pub/chill together x

There's only one centre near me and they don't do positive training at all. It's all punishment and fear based so I won't go back.

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Tirrrrred · 28/03/2023 08:50

What do you do during the week / while working?

Usually people need care for this and use their weekends / downtime to spend time with their dog?

HappiestSleeping · 28/03/2023 09:02

Violaviolin · 28/03/2023 08:27

She doesn't just guard food. It's other things too e.g. fluff on the floor, my pyjamas if she sees them on my bed/floor, things she finds on walks etc.

Food is the start point though, and it's the easiest for you to start with as you are the dispenser.

I've found that one thing tends to lead to another, and getting the basics is the root of all other behaviours. How is she with sit / stay / leave it / eye contact?

The other thing I've found a challenge with current dog which would have been the case with previous one too, but I didn't know then, is how quickly changes in behaviour need to be recognised by us and rewarded to encourage what we want. I have been watching a few YouTube channels which have been really useful. All are positive training:-
Nigel Reed
Zak George (he has a good book which is on audible)
Training Positive

Shame your local trainer is punishment based.

Violaviolin · 28/03/2023 10:50

Tirrrrred · 28/03/2023 08:50

What do you do during the week / while working?

Usually people need care for this and use their weekends / downtime to spend time with their dog?

I work from home

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