Why does my puppy bite me, and not my husband?!

[ohsheglows]

Hi everyone! We have a 17 week old show type 'cockerdile' who is teething SO much at the moment. He's lost a few teeth and I can see his premolars starting to come out.

I know all puppies bite, and that cocker spaniels are known for being particularly mouthy as a puppy, but we have noticed that he only ever seems to bite me, and not my husband. He does sometimes attempt to bite my husband, but this is usually once, and then he runs off to bite me. It is relentless. Usually he hangs off my sleeve, bites my ankles, sometimes jumps up to bite my thighs and will sometimes launch himself onto the sofa to bite me. I have tried distracting him with chew toys, giving him puzzles to mentally stimulate him, giving him frozen carrots/celery, frozen ripped up tea towels tied into a knot, and even getting to him to a trick with a treat to keep him occupied, but it doesn't work. Yelping makes him more excited, so I cross my arms and ignore him, but I can't help but move when he's drawing blood out of my legs.

I used to think it's because he didn't like me, but he often carries toys to my lap and chews them on me, or he'll rest his head on my shoulder when tired, or lick my face - so surely that means he likes me?!

We asked our teacher at puppy classes, she said that dominance theory is outdated and old advice and she said unfortunately puppies just tend to go for one person in the household. Do any of you out there have any theories on why this might be happening, and if so, any tips/tricks to help stop this?

TIA

Hmm what does your husband do differently?
Our puppy does it too but very rarely on me and a stern “no” makes her stop. On my kids and husband she doesnt stop until I tell her off. I think she sees them more as playmates and not in charge, because she also doesnt listen to any of them at all unless she wants to.
Why would you ignore her when shes biting you? When ours did that the first time she got a very stern telling off and when she didnt stop i pushed her off me.
If she bites when on the couch she goes off the couch until i call her back.
If she follows someone biting their feet, then i send her to her bed and make her stay there until shes calmed down.

Just to add, puppies play rough together and they dont know that humans get hurt easier without the fur. So they have to learn it. But your puppy isnt gonna learn it if you never tell her its wrong. Your puppy sounds like she has no boundaries and respect (this is normal at the beginning of course, you just have to teach her and be firm).

id assume that your husband doesn’t respond in a way the puppy founds exciting or puppy feels more confident in playing with you

stand still and swap for a chew toy, keep one on your pocket always

usually a sign they’re overtired so pop them somewhere safe like a crate or playpen with a chew

handy chew togs
kongs, olive stick, coffee stick, split antler, cows horn, tied up tea towels soaked in water then frozen; frozen yak bar or carrot

all very good ways to distract

Do you want your husband to bite you?

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

Disclaimer I have not tried this, but these videos always look good on YT to me. It's not dominance training nor the yelping method but positive dog training, teaching an incompatible behaviour, I understand this is considered gold standard in dog training these days. He has lots of other related videos, I just picked the most recent one.

Only one point of controversy, this trainer does use a word/sound to indicate no or ah-ah, which some positive dog trainers do not use but he doesn't use any aversives. It's the approach I am planning to follow when we get a dog.

I would guess that your husband is probably unconsciously more confident and directive, so the puppy can tell more easily where the boundary is than him not liking you. I understand that biting is not aggressive in puppies, actually it's their way of exploring and can actually be affectionate - obviously you do want them to understand though that it's not something you enjoy.

Good luck!

My guess is that you are the one giving the most reaction to the bites so its more fun to bite you than your DH. Either that or your DH has shown the dog that its not a good idea to bite him and the dog remembers it.

Could it be that you are doing a more exciting squeal reaction to the bites, so it's interpreted as playing.

My DD was chewed on and nibbled at for a good month after puppy had stopped doing it to everyone else.

If puppy bites, turn away in a disappointed way rather than a high energy way. Then give a toy and play with that.

Maybe you just taste better 🤷‍♀️

Thanks everyone for your replies so far! @MissEira I ignore him during the biting as I was told that was what I was supposed to do, and then once he's got the message, I reward him with a toy or treat. I tried the stern telling off (even making my voice lower - I sounded so silly!) and pushing him off me, but it turned into a game. He does play quite rough with other puppies!

Thank you @BertieBotts I'll have a watch later.

@CatSpeakForDummies I think you're right and it's perhaps it's the squealing. I do try and ignore him whilst he's biting me, but then he bites in the soft part behind my knee which hurts so much I can't help but make a noise. Whereas my husband has legs of steel where his teeth don't even penetrate his skin!!😓

Our pup but my husband more than me. I think I was just better at redirecting her only toys. I taught him how to play tug with her and that helped.

it stops at 5 months or so. We still have a bit of mouthing at 7 months but no damage and she stops very quickly.

Puppy biting is vile. It really hurts.

Bit 🙄

Redirect don’t squeal or punish. They need to bite all their lives so much better to get an adult dog who grabs a toy to play with you then grabs you!

Ignoring makes them frustrated too so the biting gets worse. Shove toy in gob. Keep shoving toy in gob. They’ll get it eventually.

I don't know whether it was just our dog trainer trying to make me feel better but we were told they're more likely to test boundaries/try and initiate play through biting with the person they're more comfortable with. I also certainly took the brunt of her over arousal biting as I was the one having the most interaction through training and play. It was our other interactions that meant I was the target rather than my response to the biting itself.

@ohsheglows my puppy is 17 weeks too and she definitely targets me as her main victim. I've been wondering why this is too. It's incredibly hard to ignore when she's managed to get some purchase! I quite literally feel your pain!
I do try to redirect and jam a toy in her mouth, or remove myself quickly and say 'no biting', but sometimes it's just not possible.
Here's hoping it all calms down soon. I'd really like to wear something other than a tatty hoodie full of holes sometime in the next decade.....

The first thing that came to mind is maybe you just move faster. I think most puppies get excited by quick movement (the prey drive), which is often why they are more bitey with children who tend to wave their arms around.

Id suggest you wear some thick denim jeans around the house.

I've been doubling up on my trousers as his teeth pierces my jeans! I'm the same @EyeBetOnSky I'd love to wear something that isn't just tatty clothes with holes in! 😂

@Isheabastard that's an interesting theory. The OH does slob around generally so maybe he's not considered as prey!

It will be in your reactions.

Our beagle was the opposite in that he always went for DH - because DH always reacted to it somehow.

He shouted (in pain or frustration), moved himself away really quickly (turning it into a game), or even laughed which made it ten times worse!

I would ignore him and put him on his lead so he couldn't bite me - he soon learned that biting me stopped his fun and freedom, but that biting DH meant he got attention.

Remember, for many puppies, bad attention is better than no attention! You really do need to ignore them completely o matter how annoying or painful it is!

My pup does/did this with me, I just presumed it's because I'm her main caregiver and have been since day one.
She's 8 months now so doesn't really bite anymore but when she was teething it was always me she went for and when she was in season it was only me she tried humping nobody and nothing else. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It works the other way as well though now she's calmed down a lot, it's me she chooses to sit with, nap on or bring toys to.

Its often the females in the home (or children) a mixture of higher voices, faster moving, and not as tall as men and often females spend more active time with the puppies.

All of the above is a sweeping statement but often encourages the puppies to be more excited.

However you can tell everyone that the puppy loves you more than anyone else and in a way is a bit true, they are happy to play with and be with you, as you are more interesting. Unfortunately puppies are not great at calm play yet!

Hi, can I ask if this has got better? Currently dealing with a 17 week old teething pup who seems to reserve most of his biting for me! He follows me around most the time (I work from home so spend most time with him) and he’s definitely more attached to me, just no idea how to stop the ‘attacks’! Hoping for some good news and that it gets better..

Is also be interested about what works. Ours is 14 weeks and bites me particularly ferociously. I've also tried swap in a chew toy, yelp, no, ignore and walk away. Even walking away is tricky once he's got a grip. I find it tricky to balance not seeming to be playing rough with actually getting him to stop. It's worse when he's overtired.