adopting a dog

[Bearpaws64]

I'm having a hard time getting over the death of my Staffy, Snoopy (she died at the end of Jan after falling ill with Lymphoma)
Plenty of people have advised me to get another dog, I'm told it helps you to 'get over' the loss.
So, I applied to adopt a little Staffy from Dogs Trust. A sweet little fella, aged just over a year and, in the blurb, he sounded perfect, if a little nervous.
Got a call yesterday and it turns out he has issues not described on the web site. His nerviness is severe enough to need on going medication, at a cost of £40 a month, he has a skin allergy that also requires meds, another tenner a month.(I did tick I wasn't keen on any medical costs/issues)
He is kept in a separate part of the shelter, away from other dogs.
He would also need to be taken back to the shelter, regularly, to help him 'settle in' to his new home. The shelter is over an hours drive away.
All this has given us pause for thought, is it wise to continue if you have even a slight doubt?
I was told to think on it and discuss it with DH (who really isn't on board with the idea anymore)
I feel guilty about giving up on him and was in floods of tears last night, mainly over Snoopy. Maybe it's too soon?
Any advice welcome, I need to ring them back later today.

If DH wasn't on board before this info, he'll be even less so now.

Personally I wouldn't do it, especially while you are feeling so raw about your lovely Snoopy. It's a big decision to make while you are feeling so emotional, even without the extra issues.

There are many many dogs looking for homes without issues that severe.
However I agree with the above, I’d let the dust settle a bit with your emotions.
I lost my adored dog in my 20s, and it took me 10 years to get another and not think I’d just be comparing them to dog 1 (who even now will always be my favourite ever dog)

No, I really don't think this sounds like the right dog for you at this time, especially as your DH isn't keen. Don't feel guilty, they really should have been more upfront about the extent of the dog's nervousness and meds etc from the start

I don’t think this is the right dog for you, especially if DH not on board.

If you’re particularly keen on Staffies then in you’re anywhere near the West Midlands, the Senior Staffy Club might be worth looking at. Usually older dogs but not very old by staffy standards.

This dog doesn't sound like the right one for you. When we lost our collie who we had had for 14 and a half years, we very quickly knew that we needed a dog to complete us.

But we looked at several before settling on new Ddog. There are so many doggies looking for homes, it's ok for this one to not be the right fit for you.

Thanks to all for the advice. It's helped me to reach a decision. It's too soon to take on a troubled dog.

It sounds like this dog now isn't actually a good match so don't feel guilty about saying so, its a bit unfair of DT not to be clearer in the dogs write up of its requirements. Not sure if mean DH doesn't agree with this adoption or getting another dog in general, as really both need to be on same page.

Everyone deals with grief differently so is no right timespan and sometimes just testing waters helps decide one way or other. I think having another dog can help fill that void from lost routine & company which many people find difficult part to cope with so can totally understand now why some need to immediately get another. Dogs are funny, keep you busy and while people worry about comparison I've often found its nice triggering memories of a lost dog but can also make you confront your grief head on which may resent. I've found having a new dog even when think I've grieved & ready can still induce a rollercoaster of emotions again as adjust.

There are lots of staffies awaiting homes and some specialised bull breed rescues around if check Facebook group, so won't have a problem finding a more suitable dog for your home. Maybe consider fostering if you miss having dog around but not sure if ready to bond, sometimes it's short term like recovery from vet treatment or cover owner illness, foster holiday etc rather than more unknown period of waiting to be homed. There's a dog foster scheme to help those escaping domestic abuse too.

Sounds a disaster, so pleased that you aren't going ahead. It takes time to get past losing a beloved dog and you don't sound as though this dog would have helped. Be gentle with yourself.

You've hit on the reasons I wouldn't consider recuing from the Dog's Trust. Their policies on taking in dogs mean that they end up with more deeply troubled dogs than, say, the RSPCA, and without the benefit of experience a breed-specific rescue can occasionally bring to those animals . It's not the first time that I've heard of them doing the emotional sell before dropping the reality bombshell. A nervous Staffy that has to be medicated and can't be kept with the other dogs suggests a lot of potentially long-term lifestyle-limiting problems for a new owner to overcome.