Can you adopt a dog with baby?

[Hope551]

Me and my partner have always grown up with dogs. I love the bond I had growing up with a family dog as a child. I have a baby on the way and was wondering when is an appropriate time to bring a dog into the family? Is it safe with a baby? Or what age would be best?

I would be home and when I start work again I wfh. So the dog would be well loved and never alone. I am very active and walk a minimum an hour a day, much longer on weekend as partner joins aswell. Although dog would not be off lead other than weekend as I couldn't do it safely with a baby.

I was hoping an older dog as you would be aware more of their temperament.

We have an enclosed garden.

Is this a crazy dream? I don't want to be a bad owner :( just want a loving family environment where doggo would have lots of love and attention. But not many rescue centres seem to allow adoption with children under 5? Just would like thoughts and advice?

Personally I'd wait to see how the baby changes your life first. Your relationship may turn to shit/you end up with PND/long recovery etc for a while and adding a dog to the mix might not be a great idea. Then there's the safety issue. I've only ever had rescue dogs and wouldn't risk a new one with a baby or toddler. It's just not worth it. They are usually traumatised anxious animals that need lots of patience and experience of rescues not puppies. Not a good combo for life with little ones in my opinion.

There’s a reason shelters don’t want to place dogs in families with babies and toddlers. I think the issue should firstly about you being a good parent and then being about being a good dog owner. I don’t think babies and rescue dogs ( or any new dog) is a good idea. We had dogs when my brother and sister were born and they sadly did not cope with the squealing and everything else that comes with babies. They ended up separated pretty permanently because one of them growled at my sister when she was about 9 months and we weren’t going to risk anything. Rescues just won’t know enough about the history of the dogs to risk it in many cases.

Your vision sounds lovely, the reality can be slightly less so.

uou don't have long before the baby arrives (congratulations! 💐) to find, adopt & bond with the dog.

A lot of women's feeling change towards a dog they have a very strong bond with & start to feel annoyed with the dog & resent it. the little while the baby sleeps the dog wants some attention, it can be bloody relentless & if the dog wakes the baby 🤬

on the other hand it can be amazing!

you might be better off with a breed specific rescue.

Also depends what breed of dog you're looking for

you're definitely better getting a dog, not a puppy!!

Thank you both! That makes perfect sense. I will wait till baby is much older. Just growing up on a farm and with animals it all feels lonely at the moment, my partner works all day and I'm still grieving the loss of my beloved dog :( I think I am rushing to create my ideal family to fill my own personal void. And I must remind myself that my LO is not me and will be her own person, so whilst I grew up with a furry best friend she also might not be like that and I didn't think about a rescue needing more TLC my mind turned it into the opposite. 😬 thank you for putting it into perspective. It's hard to see the bigger picture sometimes x

Thank you 🥰 ideally I was thinking of a poodle in the breed, that was my previous doggo and my nephews when they were babies got on so well and they were very gentle and patient. Not to mention really loving. My secret love was a Labrador but I personally have never had that breed before. But realistically after reading the previous posts I couldn't risk the possibility of it not working out. I would hate myself if I brought the dog into the family to find it didn't work out, and I know realistically I should focus on one thing at a time rather than expanding the family at once. I think I'm just missing my dog and the hormones are making me super clingy and needy 😂

Is this your first baby?

I can't really imagine anything more stressful than adding a new dog to the whirlwind that is a newborn baby. You're going to have a tiny helpless creature essentially glued to you for quite some time, adding another helpless creature to that mix with a whole different set of needs seems like unnecessary stress. You may be far less keen to take Fido out for his 7am pee when you've been up all night with a baby.

Perhaps best to wait until baby is older, I personally think until children are old enough to understand how to treat animals kindly and gently, and you're past the sleepless nights phases so you don't start to resent the dog for also needing you when you're touched out and exhausted.

The baby/toddler will not understand how to treat the dog and will ignore warning growling. The toddler may for example sit or stand on the dog’s tail/head, or jump on it. Thus, the dog will bite the toddler, possibly hard enough to scar.

It is a bad idea OP. Wait until your child is old enough to know how to treat the dog ie at least age 3/4 or older if it’s a rescue dog with its own trauma to work through.

I'd wait until the child is old enough to respect the dog's boundaries and make sensible decisions. They also need to be old enough to recognise when a dog wants to be left alone - subtle signs, not just growling!

I don't have young children, but recently had an incident where a visiting 4yo, who is very well behaved, and used to big dogs, leant on my dog and put quite a bit of weight on him. There was absolutely no malice whatsoever, and it happened under my very direct supervision, but it happened so quickly and unexpectedly there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

It certainly caused some discomfort and possibly pain; DDog was clearly unimpressed by this and snapped, albeit with no attempt whatsoever to actually bite. He's quite good with children; I suspect he's lived with them before (he has an unclear history).

As for lots of love and attention - that would be my dog's idea of hell! He'd much rather be left to his own devices to be honest. Sometimes he takes himself off elsewhere in the house and I don't see him for 3+ hours.

Back in the day and I'm not that old if a dog snapped at you then the first assumption was that the child had done something do deserve it. To be honest they usually have from the dog's point of view. Best not to be overly precious about these things.

Great advice, last thing you may want on your hands is a dog to take care of as well. Personally the risk factor would be too great for me, too many horror stories

I'm similar to you, had dogs all throughout my childhood and have always had a family dog at mum and dad's.

I've been wanting a dog for a while but I moved out with my first baby and that was 7 years ago and I've never felt ready for the added responsibility! Dogs are so different than other animals (as you know), they are really part of the family and are a lot of responsibility. I also WFH now so between the thought of having all DC at school and being around all day, I'm already dreaming of that little dog coming with me on school runs and hikes at the weekend

My youngest DC starts school next year and I don't think I'd manage a dog before that. Toddlers find it really difficult to leave animals alone so I'd be constantly overwhelmed with the high alertness needed around supervising a young dog and a young child.

All that being said, my friend got a GSD when she moved into her first house with a baby and I've never heard her complaining! Obviously realistically loads of people have dogs with small DC. I think the main problem as other PPs have identified is the unknown. You don't know how having a baby is going to hit you yet, so I'd personally be waiting to see what life looks like when you're back at work and baby is settled into their childcare routine, whatever that looks like. I just think it makes the most sense to do these things when you're in your normal life, if that makes sense? Like lots of people got dogs during lockdown because their circumstances changed temporarily, and then when everyone had to go back, well it wasn't reality for them long term. I do understand the appeal of having a young puppy while on mat leave though.

We got a puppy a year ago, when my youngest was 4.5 and if I’m being brutally honest, she was too young at 4.5 as she’s hyper and it made the puppy hyper and when puppies play, they play with their mouths and can be bitey little shits.

now my youngest is at school and our pup is now 14 months, both have calmed down a bit and watching them together is just lovely.

but if I’m being honest, my youngest at 4.5 was too young and it made it really hard work. Our eldest was 6.5 and wasn’t an issue at all. So I genuinely think you are better off waiting until a child reaches school age

I couldn't find a rescue willing to rehome to a house with primary aged kids, never mind a baby.