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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

advice re an old dog please

26 replies

mrsmopalot · 15/02/2023 11:26

We have a 14 year old dog who is our first ever dog. She has been a dream not ever a single problem with her. We all absolutely love hee.
She is now completely blind and deaf. She has barely any teeth left.
She seems so anxious all the time she yelps when you try to cuddle her.
She has this terrible episodes where she walks around manically bumping into furniture walls etc
She is also becoming increasingly incontinent ( daily accidents really)
She does still eat but is very thin now.
I have taken her to the vet several times, they just say that she is old and there is nothing they can do.
My DH and i just worry that we are letting her suffer and we are keeping her going fir our own selfish reasons.
I just wondered what any of you think?
Have you any tips advice ?
It's all so upsetting

OP posts:
ThreeB · 15/02/2023 11:27

Making the decision to send a beloved pet over the Rainbow Bridge is the hardest decision a pet owner makes.
All I can offer is that Its better to make it a week too early than a day to late.

Bananadramallamas · 15/02/2023 11:31

Sorry, but it is time to let her go. It's the last kind thing you can do for her.
I feel for you, this was me 3 years ago and it is hard. The price we pay for having a pet. Be brave. 💐

Fenella123 · 15/02/2023 11:32

Yelps when you try to cuddle her raises questions about arthritis or some sort of pain.
Confusion might be canine dementia.

Talk to a different vet, ask them about painkillers and meds for dementia.
And get her a doggie nappy.

Ideally find the oldest, greyest vet you can. They should be frank with you and be able to advise when making adjustments becomes futile and unkind.

Newpeep · 15/02/2023 11:36

It sounds like she is tired and is ready to go.

you can download quality of life questionnaires which can help you rationalise how much quality of life she still has.

Zipps · 15/02/2023 11:36

I would go to another vet. Sadly though it sounds like it's her time, which is heartbreaking 💔 but the kindest thing to do. A good vet will be straight with you and tell you so.

Loveskipping · 15/02/2023 11:38

It sounds like it’s time to let her go. It’s so hard.

Original poster
mrsmopalot · 15/02/2023 11:38

she is already on painkillers.
when she helps it seems like she is scared rather than in pain - like a shock for her
Yes the questionnaire is a good idea it's so hard to get any perspective. Even reading your replies made me start crying

OP posts:
Zipps · 15/02/2023 11:39

Vets will often offer an at home service when they pass away, in the comfort of their home with you there and it's very peaceful.

Honeyroar · 15/02/2023 11:43

It’s heartbreaking, the worst thing about having a dog, but this is the payback for all those years of love she gave you - giving her a dignified, kind end.

KangarooKenny · 15/02/2023 11:44

Looking at what you’ve written I’d say it’s time. You have to ask yourself if she’s happy and comfortable. If not you need to make it better for her.

Original poster
mrsmopalot · 15/02/2023 11:47

Thankyou for all your replies - i must say this awful time never occurred to me when we got her .

OP posts:
Odetta4 · 15/02/2023 11:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HinnyHoway · 15/02/2023 11:49

I’d say it was time. Blind and Deaf must be incredibly scary for a dog, and while a younger dog might adapt beautifully it doesn’t sound like your old lady is. Imaging how scary and stressful her daily life must be, not knowing where she is, who is near etc. Then you have the teeth and incontinence to think about.

Her quality of life is the most important and it doesn’t sound like she has much now sadly, and I think even asking means you know deep down.

It is the hardest and most upsetting thing about pet ownership and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone Flowers

this is the payback for all those years of love she gave you - giving her a dignified, kind end.
lovely way to think of it.

Almostalwayshappy · 15/02/2023 12:03

Sending a very big hug. Went through this very recently with our 15-year-old lab collie rescue. Had him PTS at home in my arms. It's only looking back now that I realise how anxious he had become. Once I had made the decision, with the vet's support, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I am very proud of the life - and death - we gave him. It was peaceful and fitting at the end. We miss him so much, but the knowledge we did the right thing by him right up until the end a huge comfort. I found the advice 'better a week too soon than a day too late' which others have posted here really helped. I am sitting looking out at the garden at the little stone we had engraved with his name and placed on top on his ashes. And I am smiling at the thought of him, much sooner than I thought I would. Thinking of you. You sound like the most incredible dog owner and you will make the right choice either way.

Newpeep · 15/02/2023 12:06

Zipps · 15/02/2023 11:36

I would go to another vet. Sadly though it sounds like it's her time, which is heartbreaking 💔 but the kindest thing to do. A good vet will be straight with you and tell you so.

Vets are not allowed to tell you. They can advise but they cannot tell you categorically to pts. It is always your choice. They can only give medical and quality of life facts.

I”m sorry OP. It’s so hard. We found the quality of life questionnaire the most helpful.

caringcarer · 15/02/2023 12:14

@Honeyroar has put this so well. All the years of love and devotion to you should be repaid with a pain free life and dignified end of life. It's so hard.

agutrew · 15/02/2023 12:24

I just had exactly the same situation with my 17 year old dog. We let her go as It was the kindest thing to do although one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was all very peaceful at the end. So sad for you.

IloveRickyGervaisAndHisTeeth · 15/02/2023 12:27

Your poor old dog has got no quality of life.

Blind, bumping into things
Deaf, cannot hear anyone approaching her
Incontinent.
In pain
Thin and old.

Please, please, have her put to sleep

Zipps · 15/02/2023 13:51

Of course vets will tell you if it's time. If the dog is in pain or has no quality of life they will say it's the kindest thing to have them put to sleep.

What I hate about MN is people trying to give honest advice and someone always has to pipe up with....Actually blah blah blah I am right response. Know it all, have some sensitivity.

IloveRickyGervaisAndHisTeeth · 15/02/2023 14:27

Zipps · 15/02/2023 13:51

Of course vets will tell you if it's time. If the dog is in pain or has no quality of life they will say it's the kindest thing to have them put to sleep.

What I hate about MN is people trying to give honest advice and someone always has to pipe up with....Actually blah blah blah I am right response. Know it all, have some sensitivity.

and you know better?

Zipps · 15/02/2023 14:33

I know enough to ask an expert ie a vet, not do a questionaire

iloveeverykindofcat · 15/02/2023 14:34

She seems so anxious all the time she yelps when you try to cuddle her

For me, this would be the deciding factor. Our old vet told us that dementia is a big factor for him in recommending PTS because a pack animal that doesn't recognise its surroundings is in pretty much constant fear. That's as important as the physical side. Though only you/your vet will know whether its reached that point yet, or if you are still able to comfort and reassure her.

Newpeep · 15/02/2023 14:46

Zipps · 15/02/2023 14:33

I know enough to ask an expert ie a vet, not do a questionaire

i take it I’m the know it all.

having had this conversation three times with three different vets in the last few years I can categorically tell you they will not tell you to euthanise your friend. They will give medical advice and prognosis and help you on the day. Nothing more.

it would be unprofessional to do so. Most vets give a questionnaire to enable you to make the decision so you can be at peace after talking it through in the surgery.

to quote our vet when discussing end of life for our dog a few years ago ‘she’s had the best life but you need to be ready’. One of the most pragmatic and straightforward vets I’d ever met. Yet he couldn’t advise us until we’d made the decision.

Thinking of you OP.

HoleyShit · 15/02/2023 15:03

Bless her, it really does sound like it's time.

Perhaps see another vet who can reassure you that it's the right decision. You're stalling at the moment because the current vet is not giving good advice imo.

Darklane · 15/02/2023 15:04

I had this a few weeks ago with one of my oldies, aged a week short of her sixteenth birthday. She’d always been such a happy little soul. She was blind & deaf by then, teeth almost all gone through several dentals over the years, incontinent if I missed her asking, even though I tried to watch her constantly, but she was still happy, eager for her food, following me always as best she could as she had arthritis, managed with painkillers including Librela which had been a game changer for her.
Until the last fortnight when you could tell things had changed. She became more distressed, crying at night, agitatedly making her bed all the time where she’d always settled comfortably. You just knew that life had become a burden for her, it was breaking my heart those last two days over the weekend. I had to make that dreadful, incomparabley heartbreaking decision, there really was no way I could let her suffer like that, she’d been one of those once in a lifetime little ones, I’ve had lots of dogs over decades. Cried all the way to the vets, but at the end, as I held her as the drug went in, the way she relaxed & such a feeling of peace washed over her, I knew it was right, I’d fought it till that moment. Of course I wept & wept & still do, I miss her so much even though I have others, it’s never, ever anything but devastating & difficult. The way I try to look at it is that you’re taking away their pain to take on yourself to bear as heartbreak instead, the final kindness you can give them.