Which dog for us?

[MyPoorOldDog]

I'm hoping you knowledgeable people can help me decide which type of dog we should be getting. Apologies if this is a little bit too long.

My old dog was PTS coming up to 2 years ago. I obtained some very useful advice from people here at that time, for which I am grateful. Back then, I didn't think that I would ever want another dog, but gradually the dog shaped hole in the house has become larger and larger and we have decided to get another dog this summer.

A few basic facts. I am in my early 60s, DH is a few years younger. I work mostly from home, and I shall be decreasing my work load to a maximum of 6 days per month soon, and I plan to have two months completely free during the summer to enable the new dog/puppy to settle in. We have several friends living nearby, who are very reliable, and are keen to help out, as they are unable to have dogs of their own.

I would walk the dog for an hour or so off lead in the morning (We live in a semi-rural area with acres of forest/moorland on our doorstep) and a shorter walk in the evening - off-lead in the summer, on-lead in the dark during the winter.

We have a decent sized house and garden. I am a keen gardener and spend a lot of time outdoors. The dog can expect to be with me outside for long periods.

Here is the issue. I have had three dogs before - one mongrel and two cockers - all owned since puppies. If I were to have my own choice, I would have either another cocker or a cockerpoo/cavapoo. My husband (who is very tall and fit) wants a larger dog. He had a German Shepherd when he was a child and that's what he would really like, if it were his own choice.

Although he will be gradually cutting down his working days in the near future, it will be me who will be doing the bulk of the walking and training for the time being. Whilst I am very keen to take the dog to training classes, possibly to advanced training classes if I can find them, I am concerned about this 5ft 5ins getting on a bit woman handling such a large, wilful dog. I know they can be absolutely brilliant, but I'm so unsure.

I feel that I am rejecting the idea of a German shepherd outright, but I wondered if anyone here has a Swiss shepherd, as thy appear to be a little more manageable?

I am probably rejecting the idea of a sighthound. As much as I would like the cats who come into my garden to go elsewhere, I don't want a dog who will be chasing them.

I don't want a very large dog or a permanently bouncy dog who will never grow up!

Does anyone have any suggestions please?

I've known one Swiss Shepherd - seemed perfectly normally behaved (walked by a woman who didn't seem to have any difficulty) then again so are the GS dogs I know. It must all come down to the early training (and of course onwards reinforcement)

What is it about the GS that your DH likes so much - is it a very specific hearkening back to his boyhood dog, or is it just generally that he wants a bigger dog? Or perhaps he's really struck on the pastoral type?

Are there any bigger dogs that you like?

I would be factoring in not just the health you're in now, but the health you might be in by the time of new dog's eventual departure, by which time you will likely be in your early 70s if it's a young dog.

If you do go for a bigger dog I would be looking for one at middle age+ who has reached a slightly more ploddy point in life and doesn't have behaviour issues that will cause it to lunge at triggers.

I'm in my 30s and have told DP that one of my red lines is that I wouldn't get a dog that could drag me into the road; he's not getting the Newfoundland he wants!

I wouldn't get a cockapoo / cavapoo. They are 99% bred in puppy farms (some of which have slick marketing but remain puppy farms). They are not without their issues; resource guarding in particular is a feature of cockapoos.

I think you might be slightly optimistic about the dog not chasing cats; so long as they don't catch them there's no harm done - though a sighthound might actually catch one.

Are there any visiting grandchildren, or likely to be in the future?

I would seriously consider going to your local rescue centres and seeing what dogs are available; you might find the perfect personality in an unexpected package.

wetotter - he is VERY tall, but not particularly alpha male in personality, if you understand what I mean, so I'm really not sure where this comes from. I feel, perhaps, that he is keen to avoid another cocker or another smallish dog. My old dog was so overwhelmingly into me, and was never really a "fun" dog - all she wanted was to be near me. He was frequently nearly falling over her in the house due to her need to be next to me, which he found irritating.

To be fair, he was regularly away with work throughout her life, so her focus on me was inevitable. He will need to step up and play a larger part in the life of any dog we get if he wants the outcome to be different this time.

I have a labradoodle, she is quite chilled around the house but does need a good walk every day. She has been soooo easy to train. She is rubbish on a lead but that is due to her being off a lead from a young age and we didnt get the training in early. So dont be us in that reguard, she is great with my young children and cats. She will chase cats in the garden but trying play with them. If they dont run away from her she panics and comes to get me! What ever dog you get will only be as good as your training of them, you can also get mini labradoodles which is what I'll be looking into for dog number two! As above mentioned you sound like an ideal candidate for adoption

CupidCantAimStraight - you have set out what my concerns are about the future and my ability to control a powerful dog, now and as I age.

I don't want a middle aged dog as I don't want to be hitting the stage I was in with my old dog, where she was deaf, almost blind, and often incontinent in the house within a handful of years. I know one can't predict the future, but my parents were active throughout their 70s.

I take what you say about dogs chasing cats. Actually, I don't mind that as I would like to stop them fouling my flower/veg beds, but I would like to avoid a dog which has the capacity to catch one.

I also take what you say about cockerpoos. There are quite a few around here and I haven't come across a bad one. If I was to go for a cockerpoo, one of my questions would be how to find one which isn't from a puppy farm. My feeling is to buy from someone who owns the bitch as a pet and wants to keep one of the puppies, and visit the home to check that everything is as it appears.

Possibly there will be grandchildren in the future, but I had my children in my late 30s early 40s so it isn't something that is imminent (as far as I'm aware). But it is at the back of my mind and is another thing that is worrying me about a big dog.

Can't help but think a Lab , would suit you both. Size wise for him , yet a loveable , biddable fairly easy going for the years ahead.

What about a standard poodle? Medium/large active intelligent dog, can be groomed to look like a doodle with all the ethical fog lifted!

PloddingAlongHere - I have looked at labradoodles and I do like the idea of an Australian Labradoodle. That would be ideal, I think. I am intending to put a great deal of focus on training from an early age, as I want the dog to be very well behaved.

My issue with Australian labradoodles is firstly the price - I honestly think £3,000 is ridiculous, and DH would be outraged at that price. He has little idea about how expensive puppies are generally. More importantly, I don't like the fact that you are contractually obliged to have the puppy spayed. I don't intend to breed with the dog, but I felt spaying my old dog caused more issues that it resolved, and I would like to make my own mind up about things like this.

How about an Irish Water Spaniel?

They're not much smaller than a GSD, and you might like the spaniel-ness

VictoriaBun - perhaps you might think it strange, but neither of us want a Lab. The labs I have come across, and admittedly there don't appear to be many around here, have been completely fixated on food, overweight and plodding. I'm sure my opinion is misguided, but we have already discounted a Lab.

Apologies to all those Lab owners who might be offended!

My parents have had GSD for years - mum is 5ft 4 dad is 6ft tall. They have never had any problem with the dogs being too big but I think this is because they had the dogs from puppies and trained them properly, gave them enough exercise, the right food and didn't expect them to be 'fur babies' like many seem to these days. They also had female dogs (which I think are generally smaller) You sound like you wouldn't be a 'fur baby' person either!! Obviously you can't guarantee anything in a living breathing creature be it human, cat, dog, horse etc but I wouldn't discount a GSD just on the basis of your size v theirs.

2dogs1braincell - yes, I have been thinking about a poodle. When I mentioned it a while ago to DH, he dismissed it out of hand. I know has already decided that a poodle is a ridiculous clipped and pampered pooch with a ribbon in its hair. Just what he doesn't want to be seen with. It is quite hard to dismiss those images from your mind, and I confess that was my perception until I started looking into it.

I had no idea before I did some research that they are considered to be one of the smartest dogs.

I quite like the idea - not the standard size, but the next size down, whatever that is. But I suspect it would mean turning round a battleship in DH's mind.

Is there anyone on here with a poodle that can tell me about the good and bad things about them please?

wetotter - a water spaniel is worth looking at. I think I did look into them a while back and I can't recall what my thoughts were. I'll have another look. I don't think there are many around though, so finding one might be an issue.

By the way, I am very grateful to everyone who is responding. It is helping me to get things clarified in my mind.

Reach out and find someone with a lab from working lines. They can be smart, energetic and biddable. The plodding tends to come from being allowed to get overweight which is very unfair on them. Well exercised, well trained labs are a lot of fun. One hour off lead walking plus plenty of time outside time playing and training should be about right. Training a working lab is full-on though.

My sister has an Aussie labradoodle. He is cute and full of energy but not all that between the ears. Admittedly he may just be a dim specimen. Also he resource guards which is a fecking pain of a behaviour to handle and she spends her life trading stuff with him or just leaving him growling over bits of litter he has brought into the house! Again just one specimen. But I think I would want more guarantees of temperament for my 3k.

my concern with GSD is always health. I rarely meet a healthy one. I know there are breeders who prioritise hip and spine health but you might have to wait a long time for a pup from those lines.

you could also consider a smooth or rough collie. I don't know either well, but the rough collies I meet do seem calmer temperamentally than my BC and they are beautiful dogs.

If he wants a bigger dog I'd recommend considering an Italian spinone. Lovely, lovely dogs and as a gundog breed endlessly trainable, but calm and kind.
Personally I adore my spaniels! 😂

blobby10 - thank you - that's a different perspective.

No, I'm not a "fur baby" type of owner. I will cuddle a dog, of course, and want them to be happy, but I don't allow dogs onto furniture such as sofas and beds, and I do want them to be well trained, as opposed to letting them do whatever they want when they want. Does that make me a fascist? 😂 Sorry - I'm recently into Twitter and my mind is blown!

We have a cockapoo - not from a puppy farm obviously, and there are plenty of reputable breeders out there (99% of cockapoos don’t come from farms - no idea where that figure came from). He’s a brilliant wee dog, very lively obviously, but at the moment he’s sleeping by my feet as I work (OK, MN!). My neighbour has an Irish Water Spaniel - it’s absolutely mental, wouldn’t wish it on my enemy. She has had dogs all her life and her other dog (also a cockapoo) is v chilled - but the water spaniel is crazeeee. Loads of labs round here are similarly mental - they only seem to get ploddy in later life. I know a poodle and he’s lovely, definitely not overly groomed and lovely natured.

Have you considered a well bred show springer spaniel? I’m a cocker spaniel owner so understand the type of dog you had before. The springer coat isn’t as high maintenance as a show cocker either but their characters have similarities although a cocker can be clingier in my experience.

Oh and no resource guarding with my cockapoo (or any of the others I know through our breed meet ups) - although separation anxiety is a thing.

Don’t know where you are based but would you consider going to Discover Dogs at Crufts? A great way to see a massive range of breeds.

OllytheCollie - thank you, that's really, really helpful.

I am really not keen on a lab, although I do accept what you say.

I am very concerned about ending up with a dog with serious resource guarding behaviour. My first cocker went through a stage of growling when anyone went near her after she had been given food. I cured it by insisting on taking bones off her soon after I had let her have one. Yes, she growled and looked like she might bite, but I persevered as she was only a small dog and she wasn't going to kill me if she did attack.

I think that is a pretty definite black mark against a large dog in my own mind.

I can see you have a border collie, which I agree would be too much for me to take on. I'll look at rough and smooth collies.

My husband wanted a German Shepherd, but I convinced him to get a Golden Retriever instead. We weigh every meal they have, we get a lot of compliments about the condition they are in. But they do drop so much hair.
What about a climber spaniel? Bigger than the average spaniel and a bit calmer too, hopefully.

Apologies, I did not expect so many replies, which I'm grateful for, but I'm going to have to do some work now. I'll be back later.

I'll do some research on your suggestions and also show this thread to DH tonight, as that might help him sort out what he wants. Ultimately, he says it is my decision, but I want him to be happy with that decision.

I also take what you say about cockerpoos. There are quite a few around here and I haven't come across a bad one. If I was to go for a cockerpoo, one of my questions would be how to find one which isn't from a puppy farm. My feeling is to buy from someone who owns the bitch as a pet and wants to keep one of the puppies, and visit the home to check that everything is as it appears.

The harsh reality is that you're not seeing the dogs with major issues; those which can't be around strange humans or dogs are walked away from you; the owners have been trying to dodge you all this time. They might have major resource guarding issues which aren't evident in the public - for instance guarding their food bowl and bed - but when they're nowhere near the valuable items it's a non issue. My own is nice as pie to every dog breed except the one he hates with a passion; the contrast is really quite spectacular, and tbh you wouldn't believe it if you didn't see it.

As for finding one that didn't come from a puppy farm - good bloody luck.

The puppy farmers can be incredibly devious, up to and including renting a home as a showpiece for puppy sales, and claiming they were raised there instead of in a filthy shed. They also sometimes use a fake mum. It's very very easy to be caught out.

If you do insist on going down the poodle cross route then rescue so you're not contributing to the puppy farms; there are breed rescues such as Doodle Trust, and rescues such as Many Tears rehome a lot of ex breeding dogs (the alternative, sadly, is ex breeding dogs get shot).

When it comes to your DH's views on poodles, see if he can tell the difference between a poodle with a teddy cut and a cockapoo with a teddy cut. Do a photo line up; if he can get it right 90% of the time then he's allowed to veto poodles. I'd be shocked if he can tell the difference.

What about a border terrier, or a sheltie? Shelties are smaller than a collie but similar looking, and lovely natured if my neighbour’s dogs and my friend’s dogs are anything to go by.