At my wits end with elderly, incontinent dog with dementia

[Supernova23]

As the title says really. She's 14 and physically in good health. Cognitively however, she's a nightmare. She's up barking at 4:30-5am every morning, 7 days a week, as this is the time she wants to be fed. Usually there is a puddle of urine and a poo on the floor - my house stinks like a urinal, as it's got under the kitchen laminate. I can't have anyone over due to this. I'm mentally exhausted by the early starts and physically by clearing up poo and wee constantly.

I don't want her PTS as I don't believe in killing her for this, as physically she's well, but she is quite literally making my life hell. If anyone has any tips on managing the dementia and the incontinence I would love to hear it.

This is my thought too.

I have 2 elderly dogs - 13 (large breed) and terrier (16). About 2 years ago the large breed started to get very restless at night and it was causing us sleepless nights as I would be up 5 times a night to let her outside and then in again. Eventually we installed a dog flap so she goes in and out at night as she pleases and there are no accidents in the house. We are lucky to have a bedroom door opening onto the garden so we installed the flap there. Is this an option for you?

Talk to your vet about treatments like Vivitonin or Aktivait. Our old girl also took Propalin for urinary incontinence, which worked remarkably well.

Have a look at melacutin for the night waking - we've not used it it but looked into it as Ddog is a terrible night waker (always has been, nothing to do with age the little monkey!), I've heard anecdotally that it can be very helpful in dogs with sundowners / dementia.

Any chance she can have an UTI? I had an old with incontinence and some ABs helped.

@Chesneyhawkes1 > Just this😪x

@Chesneyhawkes1 > sorry meant to include the quote, 't is frustrating at times but I just try to think one day when he's gone - I'd give anything to get the chance to clean another accident up.

@itsnotmeitsu I'm so sorry. Have you just had to say good bye 😥 it's the worst x

I've just come on to write almost this exact post. My dog has just turned 16 and she has been waking us up barking multiple times a night. it's been going on for months and getting worse. It used to be once a night but last night she was up pacing and barking about 4 or 5 times.

She poos in the house, sometimes within minutes of being outside. Puppy pads are no good as she has arthritis so moves around a lot while she goes.

She has never been crated and will bark immediately if she's shut in a room. She is used to having the run of the downstairs.

She is deaf so I can't tell her to be quiet or go back to bed. I don't know whether she has dementia.

I just don't feel like she's ready to be PTS yet. I take her for walks and she has a great time and looks really happy. I feel like if we went down that path I would be making that decision because I'm sleep deprived, not because it's what's really in her best interests but maybe the guilt is making me feel that way and that actually she is suffering.

I just don't know what the answer is.

With older dogs I think it's really worthwhile tracking their quality of life. My vet recommended using an index like HHHHHMM.
You basically score each element and it's a good way to take the emotion out.
It's very easy with an older pet to increasingly accomodate their needs and you lose sight of what normal used to look like.
Personally I found dementia and incontinence scored very highly on the index and when my dog also stopped enjoying walks it was time to say goodbye. I think if I had used the index sooner I probably would have PTS sooner.
There are meds that can help and I would try them first, but euthanasia is not unkind for pets. Keeping them struggling on perhaps is..

@Supernova23 I have a tiddly 13.5 year old - the vet put her on Propalin which has really improved things.

The other tip I was given for my other night poo-er (younger but a rescue so needed a bit of re-training) is identify their favourite poo spot and only take them there to poo. Give 10 minutes minimum per visit. This worked wonders getting a night poo out of Bosco and ensuring that the kitchen floor stayed clean overnight.

I'd take your old timer to the vet too and see if there are other meds that could help with the dementia.

I felt the same way with my old dog with dementia, but in all honesty I wish I'd made the decision sooner because it does unfortunately, only get worse as the disease progresses.
She had a physical issue thrown into the mix which accelerated things and I should have called it a day then but she was still eating and pottering around the garden so I persevered. Shouldn't have. It wasn't fair on the dog.
She was still fiercely independent and hated being carried anywhere (small dog) and as a terrier once she'd decided that there was something to be barked at (even in her imagination) then she just didn't stop - and got distressed because I couldn't remove her/the thing she was barking at because it didn't exist.
She became stressed and anxious and there was nothing really that I could do because the issues were inside her head and not real.
We tried medication (vivitonin?) But it didn't make a lot of difference (although every dog is different).
Honestly, I wish I'd done it sooner when she did have a quality of life, before it got too bad and she was really struggling.

@Chesneyhawkes1 > The dog with dementia died a few years ago, but she had an underlying health condition. My current dog is 12 and he's now showing signs of it but is still happy in himself, loving his food and his walks, and it may just be old age (he's a greyhound). The loss of another dog before him from cancer for some reason had a massive physical effect on me in the way the loss of two others hadn't. I was losing my hair (telogen effluvium) and stopped eating for months. After that I said never again. It sounds awful but it affected me more than the death of my mother, who'd been in a home with dementia. To some extent that was a relief. Eventually we did adopt the one we have now when he was eight, because we knew it was unlikely he would get another home. I think people know in their hearts when they're holding onto the dog for their own sake but it's not right for the dog anymore. But yes, it's so, so hard.

@Supernova23 > When the dog that had dementia became incontinent I found out that there are nappies for dogs that have this problem. That really helped with that side of the problem. That was a female and the nappies made a big difference in taking that part of the stress away. You can find them online.

Yep, the hindsight thing stings doesn't it.

@userxx
Yeah it does, I regret it although I thought I was doing the right thing.